Tag: humor

Bacon Wrapped Pizza and Other Delicacies 

Bacon on a sandwich,
Or alone on a plate.
Bacon with tomato
Wouldn’t that be great?
Bacon wrapped around
A nicely grilled filet or
Tucked inside a fluffy quiche
I could go for it that way.
Bacon served with eggs,
Poached or maybe fried.
Bacon-wrapped asparagus,
You’ll be so glad you tried.
Bacon for breakfast,
Dinner or lunch
Bacon’s even perfect at a
Fancy ladies’ brunch
But today I saw an ad
That nearly blew my mind:
Pizza wrapped in bacon
A truly monumental find!
Alas, I’m on a diet and
Can have no bacon at all
Except for one named Kevin,
And he’s not answering my call.  







Peace, People!

Orange You Cute?

I’m not a photographer, so I’ve never offered my take on The Daily Post’s Photo Challenge before. Today’s challenge, though, was “Orange,” and as I looked through the orange posts and all of the glowing words about the color it occurred to me that orange just isn’t my thing.

I can’t wear orange. It looks hideous on me, and as a result I don’t decorate in shades of orange. But surely, I thought, I must have some orange in this house. So I went on a treasure hunt.

Here are my findings:



A bag of Cheetos, Studly’s chip of choice.



A can of Febreze.

A small side table in a guest bathroom atop which sits an orange sunset photo taken in Jamaica.



A magnetic clip. I’ll use it to seal the Cheetos bag once it’s been opened. 



A feathered cat toy.



And a carton of orange juice.

Orange you glad I’m through?

Peace, People!

Weather Vain

I’m standing in

My closet

Trying to

Decide what to

Wear.

I have not

Checked the

Weather.

I go to do so

On my

iPhone,

But I notice

There are unread

Notifications on

WordPress, and

Facebook, and

Pinterest.

After reading one

Particular post I

Realize I must

Google the population of

Guatemala before I

Forget so I can

Update a future

Article, and then

I go back to the

Bedroom closet to

Dress for the

Day.

That’s when I

Realize I still

Must check the

Weather

On my

iPhone.

Repeat as necessary

Until dressed.

 

 

Milestones

As children we mark our years through milestones: Losing a tooth, growing an inch, learning to ride a bike, getting a driver’s license.

Adults, especially older ones, measure ours in appointments: Colonoscopy, mammogram, dental, vision, etc.

Mine all seem to pop up at the same time of year. It’s as if I’ve designated spring as appointment time. March is chock full of fun.

However, I also have some great things on the calendar in March and April! Two of my good friends from Illinois are coming to stay with me over their spring break. I was afraid to jinx it by writing about their visit, but now their plans are made, and I am so excited to show them a side of Florida that I hope they’ll love. And close on the heels of that visit is my trip to Antigua, Guatemala.

So maybe the milestones aren’t quite as fun now that I’m decidedly over the hill. The pleasures, though, are outstanding. Look ma! No hands!



Peace, people!

Very Inspiring

The exceptionally talented, Stuart M. Perkins, who writes one of my favorite blogs, at https://storyshucker.wordpress.com/author/smperkins62/ recently nominated me for “The Very Inspiring Blog” Award. I promised that if I could figure out how to link others’ blogs on my own site that I’d happily accept the award. Yet even as I pasted Stuart’s link into my blog I have grave doubts that I did it correctly. 

I’m going to do my best, though, because I’ve passed up these awards before, and I appreciate Stuart thinking I’m worth reading. As he says, that’s all any of us really want.

The rules of accepting the award are as follows:

  • Thank and link to the person who nominated you.
  • List the rules and display the award.
  • Share seven facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 15 other blogs you enjoy, then comment on their posts to let them know you nominated them.

Seven facts about myself. Hmmmm. I make so much stuff up that facts are scarce. 

  1. I’m a grandmother to five beautiful, brilliant children.
  2. My husband and I were high school sweethearts and have been married for 38.5 years.
  3. My degree in elementary education was earned at The University of Mary in Bismarck, ND.
  4. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is my favorite movie.
  5. I ride a motorcycle.
  6. My all-time favorite book is To Kill A Mockingbird. 
  7. My secret dream is to be an astronaut.

Okay, now to the tricky part–passing along the Most Inspiring Award to 15 blogs that I follow. I follow some really great bloggers, so I hope I do this correctly. Be sure to check out their sites.

  1. https://tokillamimingbird.wordpress.com/author/samrappaz/
  2. https://mikesteeden.wordpress.com/author/mikesteeden/
  3. http://naturehasnoboss.com/2015/02/25/eyjafjallajokull-2/
  4. http://poesypluspolemics.com/author/pflenzi/
  5. https://nestnearlyempty.wordpress.com/author/nestnearlyempty/
  6. http://nagatayakyoto.com/author/nagatayakyoto/
  7. http://movingtowardsthelight.com/author/vonitab/
  8. https://charlottecuevas.wordpress.com/author/charlottecuevas/
  9. https://doubleupoet.wordpress.com/author/doubleupoet/
  10. https://theprofessionallydepressedprofessional.wordpress.com/author/theprofessionallydepressedprofessional/
  11. https://klregister.wordpress.com/
  12. http://creekviewcarol.com/
  13. http://by-lainejensen.com/
  14. https://aroilinpain.wordpress.com/
  15. https://sanseilife.wordpress.com

I realize that many of those listed above have been the recipients of many blogger awards, so please do not feel obligated to accept. Just know I enjoy reading your posts!

Peace, People!



Reading Doldrums

 Circling in the waves,

Caught up in an

Eddy,

Reeling from
the done,

The finished,

The read. 

Now what? 

Am I supposed
to forget 

Those I grew to love,

to fear, 

to hate? 

Where do they go 

When I turn the

Final page,

When we part ways?

I finished book two in a three-part series yesterday. Rushing to shop in my Kindle bookstore I was dismayed to discover that book three won’t be available until March. Of 2016. I’d cry if I thought it would do me any good.

The point is, I broke my Cardinal rule of reading: Thou shalt not begin a book series until at least three books are available to purchase.

Three is a great number because many series end there. If I waited until every book in a series had been written and made available to the reading public I might not ever have gotten to read the Game of Thrones series.  As it is I’ll probably die before knowing what happens to John Snow, et. al.

Thank heaven for Facebook, though. After posting a plea for good book suggestions my feed was pleasantly inundated with not just good, but great recommendations, including that of a novel, The Adventure of the Yrsa written by a friend under the pseudonym, Lillian Sullivan.  

My cup runneth over!

Peace, People.



February 29

IMG_0872

I tried in vain to find

February 29. 

Alas, it does not  

Exist in 2015. 

Less compassionate 

Folks might not care 

That February gets 

Short shrift. 

 But I do.

Peace, People

Hot Toddy Q & A

I’m not sure if the hot toddies I imbibed helped shorten my cold or just made it more bearable. 

Question: Does one need to be suffering from a cold in order to enjoy the wondrous concoction known as a hot toddy? 

 Answer: I certainly hope not! 

 Q: Is a hot toddy really a proven remedy to cure the common cold? 

 A: Who the heck cares?  

Q: What dosage of hot toddy is recommended for greatest efficacy? 

 A: The more the merrier. Here, have another.   

Q: Could you share your super easy recipe? 

 A: I thought you’d never ask:

IMG_0857

In a microwave safe cup combine: 

 2 oz. Whisky 

1 tbsp. Honey 

1 tsp. Lemon juice 

4 oz. hot water 

 Place mixture in microwave for a minute or until it’s hot, but not boiling. 

Add a slice of lemon and a cinnamon stick. 

Sip slowly and feel your throat say, “thank you.” 

 As with any beverage containing alcohol, please drink responsibly. 

 Peace, People!

Trip Prep Mania and Gratitude

Without fail I go through a sort of manic preparation before embarking on a major trip. Before Studly and I went to Scotland two summers ago I had six months to scurry around shopping for just the right accoutrement (Studly uses the term “crap”) for our journey. 

 With a trip to Guatemala looming in early April I have less than two months to get my accoutrement together. It’s not that I don’t have enough clothes already, it’s that I don’t have the RIGHT clothes. I can hardly be expected to wear my normal t-shirts and jeans when traveling to a foreign country. 

Travel smith.com is getting my business this time around. I’ve ordered two items from their website:

IMG_2669

and,

IMG_2670

Both earned a respectable 5 star rating, and I hope they live up to their respective reputations. Since I have a wedding to attend in Guatemala, it’s important that I look good, but not too good. One wouldn’t want to outshine the bride, after all. So maybe I’ll bring my crepe-y, saggy arms along instead of a firmer, sexier pair.

After I wrote this I came upon a blogpost that my sister-in-law shared about how much we have to learn as a country about happiness and gratitude. http://adventuretrio.com/one-thing-we-learned-about-north-americans-from-central-americans/ 

I hope you’ll read it. It puts my mania into a different context. I have so much, yet think I need more. Sigh.

Peace, People.

Something for Nothing

I always mess up “air kisses.” Read on:

IMG_0819

He gave her a kiss,

A gentle touch of 

Lips against cheek.

Very cosmopolitan. 

Her attempt to 

Reciprocate ended 

In a sloppy smooch 

Gone terribly wrong. 

Her bright pink 

Revlon left a smear 

Starting near his nose 

And ending at his ear. 

Oh dear.

IMG_1046

Peace, People!