Vigil Auntie Meets Ms. Kitty Claws

All great superheroes have an origin story. Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and became Spiderman. Superman was born on the dying planet of Krypton and was sent to earth by his concerned parents in an effort to save their infant son.

Then there’s Vigil Auntie who came into her powers out of necessity when confronted with the knowledge of a cabal of cats whose plan for world domination includes cornering the market on catnip and urinating on any and every surface imaginable. Vigil Auntie’s powers are legion, but primarily include the ability to find and eradicate unwelcome puddles of cat pee wherever they might be found.

Our intrepid superhero once found herself taken in by an innocent looking feline named Patches at a vulnerable time in Vigil Auntie’s schedule. Fresh from her morning shower, she noted that Patches was sweetly drowsing on a bathroom rug,

“Ah!” thought Vigil Auntie. “This would be an ideal time to apply the new medication meant to prevent Patches from peeing on stuff. I’ll just put some of the cream on my finger and place it in the fold of her ear as prescribed. She’ll never even know I’m here, and the cabal’s plot will be spoiled.”

No sooner had Vigil Auntie squeezed a dollop of cream onto her index finger than Patches opened her eyes a slit. Determined to apply the medicine, the superhero placed a calming hand onto Patches’s back but was met with a hiss.

“Now, now! I’m not going to hurt you sweet kitty,” she whispered. “Just hold still for a…wait. Dammit. Come here.”

Forgetting she was completely naked and vulnerable to attack, Vigil Auntie scooped up Patches who in the blink of an eye became the notorious villain, Ms. Kitty Claws, determined to prevent any attempt at limiting her elimination locations.

Undeterred by Ms. Kitty Claws’ whipcord speed and razor sharp talons raking across her breasts, her stomach, and her thighs, Vigil Auntie successfully applied the medication as directed.

“Take that, you foul villain!”‘she cried in triumph, allowing the cat to escape.

“Bwahaha!” laughed the cat. “You might’ve won this battle, but victory in war will be mine. And just look at the damage I inflicted. Imagine how much worse it will be when you lose!”

Reluctantly Vigil Auntie look down at her naked form. Scratches, scratches everywhere and blood dripping from her thumb.

“My sacrifice was worth it. Next time, just you wait. As God is my witness I’ll never fight naked again.”

As Ms. Kitty Claws slinked off into the hallway she was heard to say, “I should really go pee on something, but oddly enough, I don’t feel the need anymore. Curses! Foiled again!”

Peace, and nonsense, people!

Vigil Auntie

Snuggling with the Standoffish Cat

This one, my Patches, doesn’t think I know she’s nestled next to my leg. If she knew I was aware of her presence, she’d meow as if she’d been mortally wounded while simultaneously leaping from the bed onto the floor and racing from the room.

Which is exactly what happened immediately after I snapped this picture. At least I have visual proof now that Patches sometimes needs to be snuggled, in spite of what she tells her friends.

(Cartoon by Scott Metzger.)

Foul Weather Friends

Get ready to say “awwwww!”

Match, a chihuahua, is the elder statespet of my daughter, Ashley’s, home having been adopted several years ago. When the family added another adoptee, Snuggles, a couple of weeks ago, Match wasn’t all that thrilled.

Snuggles, a pastel calico, tried to make friendly overtures towards her canine sibling, but Match was having nothing to do with her. Of course sometimes Snuggles’s efforts at forming a friendship were a bit aggressive–the dog’s wagging tail was just too intriguing to resist attacking.

But last night as a thunderstorm passed through their area, my daughter snapped two pictures that melted my heart. Poor Match was frightened by the storm, and Snuggles came to his rescue:

Ashley said Snuggles calmed and comforted Match during the storm. Maybe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, or maybe the two will only be foul weather friends. Regardless, this made me smile.

Peace, people and pets.

Curfew Kitty

I was attempting to write a post for the blog last night, but my efforts were hampered by a harasser. The guilty party? Our youngest cat, Patches.

Patches doesn’t like it when we stay up past her 8:30 p.m. bedtime. Around eight she begins campaigning for us to follow her to the bedroom, first by giving us the look:

If that fails to deliver the desired results, she plops down in the middle of the room and sighs loudly at regular intervals.

At the mere mention of the “B” word (bed), she’s ready for action.

She’s kind of hard to ignore.

It’s 9:05. I’d better give in or risk the wrath of Curfew Kitty.

Meow, people.

Cat Christmas

The only reason I put up a Christmas tree this year is because the cats guilted me into it. Studly and I are spending Christmas at our daughter’s home and I told him I didn’t think we’d need a tree. Apparently the cats heard me and they went on strike–no purring or cuddling until the tree was up. They looked pretty cute with their protest placards, but wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to snap a photo.

At any rate, Studly and I learned our lessons, and we have a small tree. The cats are back to giving us lots of love, so everyone’s happy. They asked me to find a bunch of cat Christmas comics, too, and rather than make them get their signs out again, I complied.

Here’s Scout admiring the tree. It’s her shift. Patches is hiding somewhere.

Posy Poser

Our youngest cat, Patches, is normally a reticent creature. She prefers her own company and generally ventures out only when she feels the urgent need for a tasty treat. Occasionally I am granted the privilege of petting her. Even less often do we hear her purr.

So when Patches emerged from one of her hideaways to pose with a couple of flower arrangements, I had to take her picture. It’s like she was aware of the pretty picture she made.

I give you, Floral Arrangements with Cat:

Peace, people.

Saturday Morning Cat

Scout NEEDED me on Saturday morning. She climbed into my lap while I was enjoying a cup of coffee, turned three lazy circles, and then settled onto my chest. I was thoroughly snuggled, head butted, and purred over for at least an hour. She let me kiss her velvety ears and her kitty cat nose. She petted my cheek with one tissue-soft paw. We enjoyed a veritable love fest for many soothing minutes.

I knew Scout would most likely go on to ignore my existence for the rest of the day, such is the nature of felines, so I enjoyed every second of her unfettered affections. Maybe I can book an appointment for another such visit today.

The Struggle is Real. And Purrs.

Our cat, Scout Elizabeth, has a fondness, and an almost radar-like detection ability, for freshly laundered sheets. No matter how much I attempt to make the bed without Scout’s assistance I never can pull it off.

I’d just gotten one of the fitted sheets on the bed this afternoon, thinking maybe this one time I’d get the job done with no interference, when Scout popped up and acted like she’d been there all afternoon by casually giving herself a bath.

She knew I’d continue making the bed, but did she care? Nope. Note the lump.

And even as I added the bedspread she stood her ground and purred.

I love this lump.

Peace, people.

Minimalist Challenge, Day 17

You’re going to have to trust me that there are 17 items pictured for Day 17, plus four more to offset the motorcycle I bought yesterday. Within thirty seconds of my placing this collection of stickers and cards, receipts and brochures on the dining room floor I had a great deal of assistance from the felines who reside at Doright Manor.

Not only did they help me spread the items out, but they then proceeded to guard them from further interference. So, while all this detritus (with the exception of the cats) will go into the recycling bin, disposal will have to wait until Scout and Patches say it’s okay.

Peace, people.

Mom, There’s Plenty of Room for Me

Patches let me know she wanted to join me on my trip to Houston in a not so subtle way this morning. Even after I reminded her that she detests car trips and would hate a two hour flight even more, she persisted in laying claim to my overnight bag.

Studly Doright promised to take good care of her and sister, Scout. Patches, though, thinks Studly is shady and never trusts his advances. She’s a smart kitty.

Peace, people!

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