Bacon, Baby

Valentine’s Day was pretty low key here at Doright Manor. Poor Studly Doright has been swamped at work, so after he got home on Thursday evening I greeted him at the door with his gift and no expectations of an evening out.

His gift appeared to be a small Igloo cooler that I’d decorated with heart stickers. His reaction was underwhelming, until, that is, I told him that was just the gift wrapping. Inside was his actual gift:

A tube filled with Reese’s Cups and

two pounds of small batch, thick cut bacon!

For dinner we enjoyed pancakes and Studly’s Valentine’s Day bacon. Yum!

For his part Studly showered me with flowers, candy, and some oh-so-soft pajamas from PajamaGram. They’re lovely. I might’ve even worn them last night. Wink, wink. There’s a slight possibility that bacon is an aphrodisiac.

Peace, people.

A Friend’s Loss

We bloggers form an odd circle of friendship. I follow a great many blogs by people from all over the world. Some blogs are written by people I actually know personally, while others are penned by people I’ve never met, and most likely will never meet. Miles and miles, and often oceans, separate us.

Many of the people I follow also follow me. We get to know each other and I, at least, look forward to their next photographs or poems or essays on life. I care about my blogging friends

Yesterday, one blogger shared with us that he’d just learned of his adult son’s death. His post was real and raw and I began crying as I read it aloud to my husband. My heart hurt, and I felt so helpless that I just wanted to go to bed and cover my head with the covers.

My prayers are with him and his family. I hope they know just how many people are thinking of them, and sending love their way, and crying tears that they will never see, but are very real and heartfelt.

Peace.

A Rose is a Rose, Right?

Yesterday I arrived home from an appointment in Tallahassee to the sight of three boxes on the front porch. I’d been expecting two of them. One was a Valentine’s gift I’d ordered for Studly Doright, one was a legal document, and the third, unexpected box was from ProFlowers.

Of course I checked to make sure it was for me, (it was), and I opened it. I could smell the roses before I saw them, so I set them aside to prepare the enclosed vase. I took the clear glass receptacle from the box, filled it with room temperature water, and added the enclosed plant food before unwrapping the flowers. Within the wrapping paper there were only six blooming roses, but dozens of stems.

“Okay, I’m sure the rest are buds,” I thought. But they weren’t buds. Instead they were portions of wilted, dessicated petals that had never managed to reach their full potential, or had reached it, but in a stunted state. I went ahead and placed them in the vase even though they looked sad and sparse. Then I got a little ticked.

I was pretty certain my husband hadn’t placed an order saying, “Hey, I want the saddest bouquet of roses you all have in stock. Stems? Yeah, a bunch of stems are great. Even better if there’s a hint of petal remaining, you know, just to let her know they were ALMOST flowers.”

Should I call the company and make a formal complaint? Should I just accept the poorly fulfilled order? I hesitated for a minute or two, then decided to talk to someone at ProFlowers.

After going through the description of the roses with one customer service representative, who clearly wasn’t in a position to make things right, I was transferred to another woman who listened thoughtfully, looked up the order, and discovered that Studly’s initial order hadn’t even been correctly filled. According to this representative’s records, Studly had placed an order for chocolates and a premium vase to accompany the roses. So, I was right to contact the company.

They promised to expedite the correct order to arrive today, Valentine’s Day, and I’ll be watching and waiting to see if the product is what they promised. Surely it’ll be more robust than this one. And yes, I’m aware that there are some lovely roses in the bunch, but overall they weren’t up to snuff.

Peace, people!

Attack of the Killer Flag

Patriotism is a fine thing, but yesterday afternoon I was walking down the sidewalk in Blountstown, Florida, when out of the red, white, and blue, I was accosted by our Stars and Stripes. A strong gust of wind caught the darned thing just as I passed by, and whack! Old Glory slapped the top of my head, almost knocking me into a pickup parked by the curb.

Okay, so I wasn’t exactly paying attention to my surroundings, but still, shouldn’t a citizen be safe from killer flags? Betsy Ross surely didn’t intend to let loose this flapping monster on unsuspecting citizens.

Peace, people!

Standards

Firmly established

Benchmarks of true excellence

One’s personal best

Quality measured

Quantity notwithstanding

Who sets the standard?

Do leopards count spots?

Does spring’s robin rank his songs?

Ah, humanity!

This was inspired by my friend Marty, who writes a terrific blog, snakesinthegrassblog.com. The content in Marty’s blog is always outstanding. He provides useful information in an entertaining format, and I always look forward to his posts. He subscribes to a high personal standard of writing.

Recently I shared with Marty that some days I really don’t feel like writing anything, but at the same time I hate to let the blog wither. I’m not reluctant to sacrifice quality for quantity. Is that a sad thing? Should I begin holding myself to a higher standard? But as I asked Marty, “Why start now?”

This silly blog sustains me in a weird way. To paraphrase Descartes, “I write, therefore I am.”

Peace, people.

The Partial Lowdown on “The Upside”

We went to see the film “The Upside,” last night, in spite of having read some negative reviews. The review that concerned me the most was the one on Rotten Tomatoes that rated it only 40% fresh. Studly Doright wanted to see the film, though, and he convinced me to tag along.

Y’all know I’m no film critic. I don’t overthink plot lines or casting choices. If a film causes me to laugh out loud or cry real tears, then I feel it’s made an impact. “The Upside” did both, more than once. Sometimes simultaneously.

Bryan Cranston, as the grumpy millionaire paraplegic, and Kevin Hart, as the street smart ex-con turned auxiliary caregiver, evolve beyond their stereotypes to form a friendship based on mutual respect. That evolution was key to the movie being more than just a slapstick comedy riddled with catheter and penis jokes. Although, to be honest, I laughed my ass off at the catheter scenes. Call me juvenile, and I’ll hit you upside the head with my rolling pin.

The movie, touted as having been based on a true story, is in actuality a remake of a French film, “The Intouchables,” based on an actual tale of a wealthy Frenchman and his personal attendant. So,”The Upside” is something of a double filtered tale. I don’t believe critics adored it either.

Regardless, “The Upside” was endearing and funny. Just hearing Studly Doright’s laughter was worth the price of admission. If you’ve seen the film, let me know what you thought.

Peace, people!