I strolled for a bit around the neighborhood last evening with my friend, Linda and her adorable dog. Let’s call this one, “A Walk with Rusty!”
Get up. Dance naked in front of the mirror. It’s all good. Ed Sheeran’s in love with your body, why shouldn’t you love it, too?
Call me, she urged, then felt her skin flush red. Had she really batted her eyelashes coquettishly?
Out of character, out of her league, but her outrageously raging hormones won the day. Even now,
Decades later, she cringes at the memory. Hoping at least that he’s forgotten her flirtatious
Demeanor. Maybe someday she can laugh at her fumbling, mumbling attempt at seduction.
Oh girl, she laments, Whatever possessed you? Age brings wisdom, but ponders regrets.
Wednesday mid-morning I was bumming around the house. Boredom set in. I knew that if I didn’t get out of the house as soon as possible I’d be reduced to watching crappy morning tv shows and snacking, neither of which are healthy hobbies.
So, I threw on a pair of denim capris and my favorite blue tshirt and headed to my go to boredom beating destination: Walmart. The best thing about Walmart is that you can have a good time even if you don’t spend a dime. That should be their slogan. Walmart: Have a Good Time Without Spending a Dime! Ok, I guess advertising isn’t my thing.
Since I didn’t have anything in particular to shop for I wandered around in circles for awhile, picking up a new water dish for my cats, a couple of really cheap picture frames ($1.59 folks!), and some breath mints. Bitches never have enough breath mints. (I’ve been dying to type that phrase. I have no idea why.)
As usual Walmart had its amusing moments. Did you know that bean bag chairs in the shape of the 💩 (poop) emoji exist? Me neither! But look:
As luck would have it I saw this hanging out beside the checkout line, right next to the small packages of Cheet-Os and Doritos. This made me giggle out loud.
“Are you sure you heard a noise,” he asks his beloved daughter/acting First Lady.
“Yes, father, it sounded like it was coming from the press room.”
The two peer into the murky space and what do they see? Big Bird and Elmo busily texting Putin. Yes, that’s why Trump really wants to defund NPR and PBS! Damned muppet spies!
The fearless leader whacks both of them with the bat and Ivanka assists in removing all traces of their bloody deaths. Russian spies gone for good.
See, I told you Walmart is a great boredom beater! Now, go have an awesome day.
Several years ago I spent a couple of weeks visiting my sister-in-law and her husband in Jamaica. I took hundreds of photos and then promptly lost my digital camera a couple of weeks after my return home. Fortunately I’d uploaded a few to my computer. This is one of them. I call it, “Welcome to Jamaica, Mon!”
My thoughts exactly. Read more at alotfromlydia.wordpress.com.
Think about the future, twenty years from now
Political chaos over, the planet survives somehow
Will democrats and republicans continue to subsist?
With fundamentally divergent ideologies of which both resist
A rainbow in the fog, a blazing fire in the rain
We are part of the same story, when we’re hurt we all feel pain
Peace and health for those we love, it’s our universal goal
No one wants to see a future where a dystopian world unfolds
This territory of confusion, with wars that loom ahead
Waged by selfish shortsightedness, can we have a do-over instead?
This particular war was started with attacks against our own
In the distant future we’ll see clearly all we should have known
We sit back and watch protections that had been put in place
Eliminated under false pretense by a man with an orange face
He isn’t doing us a favor, although that’s…
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