Florida Man Works at Walgreens

I met him today. That epically incompetent human known as Florida Man. He was working the cash register at Walgreens and when I finally made it to the front of the line I asked him where a specific product could be found.

He shrugged.

“Can’t you look that up on an inventory list?” I asked.

“I never heard of that product. Maybe try the pharmacy.”

I walked back to the pharmacy where a very nice pharmacist waited on me. When I asked about the product she said, “Oh, yes. We have that, but it’s not with the pharmaceuticals. Let me show you.”

She left her section and walked with me to the item I was searching for. I thanked her and went back into the cashier’s line.

Florida Man looks at my item and says, “See, I told you it was in the pharmacy.”

“No sir. The nice pharmacist led me to your part of the store. It was on aisle one.”

“Hm. Well, I never stocked it.”

Now, this is where r go weird. He rang my product up, then asked, “Would you like to donate to runaway children with Alzheimer’s?”

I said, “That makes absolutely no sense. Children don’t get Alzheimer’s except in extremely rare cases of rapid premature aging.”

“That’s what it says on the box of red noses. For the benefit of runaway children with Alzheimer’s”

I looked at the box filled with red rubber clown noses. “Sir, these are given in exchange for donations to fight childhood poverty. Not for runaway children with Alzheimer’s.”

“Maybe they meant autism. Runaway children with autism. That’s who the red noses benefit. Do you want to donate?”

“Oh good grief. Sure. Just read the box before you misrepresent the purpose of the red noses again.”

As I left the store, I heard him ask another customer, “Do you want to donate to runaway children with Alzheimer’s?”

Florida Man, no doubt.

Peace, people.

The Hunter Becomes the Prey

Cat Gracie discovered a luckless lizard in the house yesterday and quickly let the poor critter know who was boss.

Listen here, lizard…
This house ain’t big enough for the both of us.

My attempts at rescuing the little guy were futile. I’d pick him up and Gracie would snatch the other end. I’d let go to prevent a tug of war, not wanting or needing to witness the decapitation of a reptile in my den.

But the lizard had a game plan:

I’ll show you, cat. Take that!
The lizard was firmly attached to a slender white whisker.

Gracie scraped the lizard off her face and backed away with a look of disbelief, allowing me to scoop the lizard up and take it outside where it played dead for quite some time. Well, to be honest, it might not have been playing, but it’s no longer in the spot where I left it. Whether it left of its own volition and under its own power is a mystery. I’m going to choose to believe it went on to live a productive life.

Peace, people!

A Stroll Through Dorothy P. Oven Park

On Saturday morning I rose early and drove across Tallahassee to stroll around a Christmas craft fair at Dorothy P. Oven Park. I didn’t buy anything, but I enjoyed the misty morning while wandering around the expansive grounds of this beautiful park. I’m not the greatest photographer, but maybe you can get an idea of how lovely this place is.

Peace, people.

A Treetop Martini

Last night Studly Doright and I had dinner at The Garlic, a popular Italian restaurant in New Smyrna Beach. The ambiance was fun, and old world funky. The food was excellent. Truth is, I was so wrapped up in the dining experience that I neglected to take any pictures. Thank goodness for Pinterest.

We had it on good advice to arrive early. Since the weather was cold, most everyone wanted indoor dining. Studly Doright and I were fortunate to get the last remaining indoor table, and we were there at 4:30.

After dinner we drove a block or so to Norwood’s, a seafood place that boasts a treehouse bar.

We climbed the stairs from The Roots Bar on the lower level into this wonderful treehouse atmosphere.

The table at the end of the walkway was reserved for a special occasion.
Had it not been so cold we might have sat around this table that circled the trunk of a gnarly tree.
My beautiful martini and the back of the man who made it for me.

We topped off our sumptuous meal from The Garlic with drinks and desserts at Norwood’s. I had some insanely delicious pumpkin spice cheesecake along with the specially crafted martini above. I asked what the martini was called and the bartender shrugged. “I made it just for you and the dessert you chose.” One word: Perfection.

Studly enjoyed a brownie and water. Good thing, too. I couldn’t have driven back to our accommodations after that drink.

I’d love to visit both restaurants again on a warmer evening. The outdoor seating at both places looked inviting, but not on such a cold day. Now we’re home and I heated up a can of Gardein Chick’n Noodle soup for dinner. I wonder what martini might’ve been perfect with it?

Peace, people.

Making Waves

Studly Doright and I are hanging out in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, this weekend. I’d packed all my beachy stuff: swimsuits, beach towels, beach chairs, straw hats, etc. But a storm has blown through the area bringing epic, awe-inspiring waves, so there won’t be any lounging on the beach.

You can see the waves behind the dune.
Turn up the sound for this video.

It’s just wonderful. Even the locals are impressed

Peace, people!

A Second Date

Several days ago I wrote about having lunch with a lizard. (Link below).

https://nananoyz5forme.com/2021/09/13/lunch-companion/

It was a pleasant lunch, but the lizard and I didn’t exchange phone numbers or anything, so I was surprised and a little bit flattered to find him saving a table for us when I arrived at Sweet Pea Cafe for lunch this morning.

Stanley (I believe he looks like a Stanley) was at the same table as last time, but didn’t skitter away when I approached. Instead, he waited patiently while I placed my lunch and lemonade near him.

The unfurling of my napkin seemed to unnerve him, so Stanley slid into the space between the slats where he watched me take out my book and unwrap my fork.

He emerged a bit to study me as I ate. I offered to direct some ants in his direction, but he said he’d already eaten.

He stayed this close to me the entire time I was engaged in eating.

Several other diners commented on my companion. A small child squealed in delight and Stanley dove beneath the table. He was still nearby, though, when it was time for me to leave. I didn’t get his number, but I think we might have some ESP going on. ‘Til next time, Stan.

Peace, people.

A Member of the Family

We’ve watched this little one grow from a teeny tiny creature into the two-inch long beauty he/she is now.

Our banana spider, Octavia/o, lives out their life protecting us from pesky insects, and for that we are eternally grateful.

My only wishes are that I could be a better photographer or she/he more photogenic, and that I’d taken pictures of them as a baby. My, how they’ve grown.

Peace, people!

%d bloggers like this: