Two Wrongs; One Write

I generally have a blog post in the queue and ready to publish at 7:05 a.m. This morning, Wednesday, October 4, 2017, I had nothing. Oh, there were a few words typed into a draft: “milk, cat litter,” but only because I’d accidentally written my shopping list on a blank page in WordPress.

For a moment I wondered what I could do with those words. A poem combining the two concepts of homogenized liquids and cat hygiene, perhaps? Hmmm. Not today, but the topic has possibilities.

As I pondered what to write I heard one of my cats in the throes of dislodging a hairball, so I rolled out of bed to clean up the mess. With a box of baby wipes in one hand and a paper towel in the other I went in search of cat puke. Scout was sitting like a lady in the dining room admiring her artwork which she’d deposited on the carpeting literally two inches from the tiled hallway.

“Dammit, Scout, couldn’t you have turned your head to the right just a fraction and avoided the rug?” I asked, knowing that was a rhetorical question. She never pukes on the tile.

As I bent over to attend to the mushy hair ball mess my nose began to run. I swiped one of the baby wipes under my nose and continued cleaning. Not to be outdone, my nose continued leaking like a faulty faucet. I swiped at it again, only then noticing that my nose wasn’t dripping snot, but blood. So now I was dealing with two icky bodily emissions. Two wrongs, if you will, giving me something to write.

As I finish typing this the time is 6:55 a.m. Looks like I’ll make my self-imposed deadline after all.

Break Out the Champagne!

Thanks to all of my readers and followers for providing the encouragement that keeps me going. I might not be the world’s greatest blogger, but I’m fortunate to have the world’s greatest followers. 

Kisses and champagne for all. 

Yours truly,

Leslie Noyes

Took Me Long Enough!

I posted my first piece on July 10, 2014, and voila! It only took me nearly three years to reach the 1,000 follower mark. Oh, and if you add in my follower numbers from Facebook (468), Tumblr (78), and Twitter (237), it’s still fairly dismal, especially considering that many of those are folks who follow me on more than one platform. 

So why do I continue? I asked Studly Doright, my husband of forty plus years why he thought I continued writing in spite of my low followership. He said, “I dunno. Because you’re a masochist?”

So there you go! And if you’re a follower, thanks for being here! I love each and every one of you. Yes, even you. 

Peace, people!

A “Must Read” Award

Every now and then I’m nominated for an award on WordPress. The first time this happened I was all aglow. What an honor! And truly, it’s always an honor for someone to consider my humble little blog worth a mention.

But the awards come with rules:

Nominate 5 or 8 or 135 bloggers and link to them.

Answer a dozen questions.

Thank people.

Stand on your head and wiggle your toes while whistling “Yankee Doodle.”

And while I might’ve made that last one up, the sad truth is I’m a lousy rule follower, and the last few times I’ve found myself a nominee I have politely excused myself from the game.

 So I thought, what if I just  made up my own award? With no rules, only a suggestion. Ta da! It’s the “Must Read” award. I’m awarding it to Mike Steeden, one of the most imaginative writers I follow. He is a quirky genius with a flair for the absurd, writing a mixture of prose and poetry that I find delightful. I highly suggest you read Mike’s blog:
The only suggestion attached to this award is that Mike might give out his own “Must Read” Award to anyone (other than me) that he absolutely thinks others will enjoy. Since I faithfully follow Mike’s blog perhaps I’ll pick up a new author to follow, as well. 

So go on now. Read Mike’s blog. Thank me later. 

Disclaimer: I’m sorry if there’s already a must read award out there. My lack of originality is appalling in that case.

WordPress Premature Publication or Textual Dysfunction

I’m having an issue with premature publication on WordPress. Often, I’ll have several pieces queued up to publish on future dates. If I go into a piece to edit it, WordPress totally ignores my original date of scheduled publication and publishes it immediately when I click the update button. 

This makes me say bad words as I rush to change the date and delete the post from my Facebook page. I’m becoming fluent in bad words. Ok, I was already fluent in bad words, but the ones I’m using are beyond the pale. 

Any suggestions for preventing premature publication, viagra, perhaps for textual dysfunction?

Dadgum it WordPress!

I just upgraded to a premium package. I guess I’m happy with it, but they kind of had me over a barrel. I couldn’t attach any photos to new blogs without upgrading, and I know how much you all enjoy my stellar (cough! cough!) photography.

But I’m griping because for some reason WP has begun publishing posts that clearly were marked as “scheduled.” I’ll go in to edit scheduled posts and the next thing I know they’ve published. It’s ticking me off.

So if you click on one of my posts and nothing is there please know it wasn’t my doing, but an overzealous WordPress glitch.

Carry on.

WordPress Milestone

I knew my second anniversary with WordPress was imminent, but couldn’t remember the exact date. Thank goodness one of us was keeping tabs.

Two years ago today I was sitting in the exact same spot in which I find myself now. I was bored and lonely and addicted to more than one computer game: Bejeweled Blitz, Plants vs. Zombies, and a couple with names I don’t recall, but one had to do with building castles and the other with raising dragons. It was a sad life. 

Oh, I had Facebook, but my tendency to say exactly what I thought had alienated a good many of my friends. My liberal political leanings aren’t shared by many of my family members or childhood friends. 

To compensate for my loneliness I’d begun reading a couple of friends’ blogs. One had just started hers and it was so charming and comforting that I began thinking perhaps I could do something similar. In the weeks prior I’d had some interesting and mildly humorous incidents in my life and thought, “I can do this! All I have to do is record all the goofy things in my life.”

Now, as awkward as I am, I couldn’t write a daily blog based solely on personal mishaps, and soon I was just writing filler until something good came along. Sometimes I did something wacky on purpose just so I could write about it. If you look back through my early archives I’m sure those posts are easy to spot.

Then I had an epiphany of sorts and just began writing for myself. That’s when the poetry started, along with a few short pieces of fiction. Occasionally I’m asked why I’ve never published anything and my answers vary. Honestly, I’m not sure anything I’ve written is worthy of being published outside of WordPress, and I’m clueless in the business of publishing, to boot.

I still compose and publish everything on my iPhone, and I still publish at least one post per day. 

Reading my stats is pary of the fun of publishing on WordPress.

My favorite part of blogging is the connection I’ve made with other bloggers from all across the world. I read posts from writers in Great Britain and India, Germany and Italy, Australia and South Africa, among many others. We comment on each others’ lives and offer our own insights. We learn from one another.

I’m fascinated to read of the differences in our cultures and comforted to note how very much alike we are. We all just want the best possible lives for ourselves and our loved ones. 

Every now and again I decide it’s time to stop blogging. I mean, it’s a good deal of work and there are likely much more profitable ways to spend my days. But then some random thought pops into my head demanding I write about it, and I begin frantically punching letters into words and words into sentences on my iPhone keyboard before the idea fades into oblivion. 

After two years of blogging I’m still somewhat of a pariah on Facebook; although, I’ve found a couple of groups of like minded friends with whom to share congenial conversations–some I’ve met through WordPress. I’ve weaned myself from every computer game except Words With Friends. I’m less lonely and better informed. Blogging has, corny as it might sound, saved my life, or at least my sanity. 

Now, what should I write about tomorrow?

Peace, people.

This Does Not Compute

In response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt:

Your life without a computer, what does it look like?

I wake in the morning

Check the weather online

Google my teams’ scores

Cruise Amazon for a time

I log into WordPress

Along about seven

Peruse my statistics

I’m in hell or in heaven.

In the shower I ponder

Topics to write

Great ideas flock to me

Then fly, out of sight.

My house is a wreck,

But never you mind

I’m too busy Facebooking

And my Twitter feed’s unkind

Without my computer

And nowhere to post

I might go bonkers, you see

I’m more addicted than most.

Peace, people.
<a href=””>Life After Blogs</a>

Annual Report

WordPress occasionally annoys me, but most of the time I’m incredibly grateful for this wonderful platform they provide for my musings. The annual report provided by the good folks at WordPress is just one of the ways in which they support bloggers. The statistics are helpful and if I were a more analytical person I’m sure I would figure out a way to make them work for me.

Celebrating my year end report with Kringle, my elf friend

Greatest Day in History (for my blog)

Thank you friends for making yesterday the best ever for Praying for Eyebrowz. I realize compared to many of you my numbers were still paltry, but for me they were a big deal. 

Prior to yesterday my greatest number of views was 119 set in January. 

Yesterday I hit 134 views. I might have done a happy dance. 

I did a great deal of original blogging yesterday. My thinker was fully engaged. Plus, I reblogged some great pieces written by bloggers I follow. When Studly Doright asked how I’d spent my day I told him I’d theorized and plagiarized. (I don’t think reblogging counts as plagiarism, especially since I always credit the author.)

Finally my favorite of the stats is this one:

I really enjoy seeing where my posts have been read. It’s almost as if I’ve traveled to Turkey, handed my writing to a beautiful person sitting in a cafe and said, “Friend, tell me what you think.”

Then we laugh over our boza and bask in the warmth of the Turkish sun.


May your day be the best ever.

Peace, people!

Praying for Eyebrowz Copyright 2015 by Leslie Noyes.