Tag: humor

We’re Number 384! We’re Number 384!

Okay, so “We’re Number One“ is a lot cooler and easier to chant, but for one brief shining moment on Sunday morning my first novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, came in at number 384 on Amazon in the Women’s Action and Adventure Fiction category.

And I know what you’re probably thinking—“Leslie, dear, there are likely only 384 entries in that very narrow category…”

However, having tracked my book since it was first published I can assure you that’s not the case. I broke into the top 500 about a month ago after being well above 1,000 for the longest time. And even as I write this I’m back to #505, so it’s always changing. I can’t get too cocky.

I’m wondering if there’s a category in which Mayhem might be number one? How about Women’s Action and Adventure Fiction Featuring Quirky Jugglers? I’d almost bet I’d be in at least the top five.

Peace, people.

http://Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08P76RBRD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_A4MFPQMX415MVVMWDXEH

Have a Nice Flat

In the past six months I’ve had four flat tires—the most recent one just last night. I’m closing in on 65 years on this planet, and I’ve been driving since my 16th birthday. Up until this year I’d had a total of one flat tire. One.

Being the excellent amateur detective I am, I looked at the whole flat tire situation analytically. What location or locations do I frequent where one might end up with a nail in one’s tire? The logical conclusion is my favorite lunch spot. Damn. I’m there almost every day. And their parking lot isn’t great.

I guess I could park in the meat market’s lot next door to the vegan cafe I love. No irony there, right? I’m just tired of spending time at the tire repair shop.

Peace, people.

Cover Man

Studly Doright is no fashion maven. Don’t get me wrong, I think he always looks good, he’s just never going to make the cover of GQ.

He is resourceful, though, when it comes to keeping his pants in place. Just look what I discovered when doing his laundry:

That’s a zip tie.

Studly has lost about twenty pounds. Had I lost the same amount I’d have bought a new wardrobe. But my husband? No, he just figures out a way to hold his pants up.

Peace, people!

If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

…It’ll make a huge mess. If said tree falls into the neighborhood lake, it’ll make an even bigger mess.

Notice it took out our dock, as well. 😢
That is one big tree.
Thank goodness the ugly boat was spared…

Now we’re waiting on someone to quote us a price on Fallen Tree’s removal. It will not be cheap. Sigh.

Peace, people.

Better than a Poke in the Eye

Studly Doright, the love of my life, was out of town on business most of this week. Our cat, Gracie and I miss him when he’s gone.

He called me on his way home from Maitland, Florida, yesterday afternoon, so I had an idea of when he’d arrive. Still, I could have used a little warning. You see, he surprised me as I was applying my night cream and I poked myself in the eye. Now I look like this sans muscles and tattoos:

Perhaps spinach would help.

Peace, people!

The Cat’s Meowapple

Must’ve been some kind of party going on last night.

Hmm. How’d this get from the kitchen counter to the kitchen floor?
Apple? I don’t see any apples?

Gracie isn’t allowed on the kitchen counters. She’s refusing to take responsibility for this apple which has fallen very far from the tree.

Maybe an apple distributor broke in. Kind of like a modern day Johnny Appleseed.

Peace, people.

Unexpected Guest

I was sitting outside on the makeshift patio of a local eatery yesterday when one of the employees peeked around the corner and said, “Don’t freak out, but there’s a snake behind the recycling bin.”

Sure enough, I saw the little guy slithering in my direction. And while I didn’t freak out, I did move to a neutral corner in hopes that he’d pass right by.

Hi, I’m an oak snake, who are you?”

Soon, the snake was corralled by braver souls than I and returned to a location with fewer freak-out prone humans.

I promised I’d obliterate any identifying marks on the snake wrangler.

The little oak snake seemed friendly enough, but I’ve got plenty of friends, thank you very much

Peace, people!

The Ad Game

There’s an ad for my first novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, now running on Facebook. My Facebook friend and author, Lori Roberts Herbst, helped me set the ad up at extreme peril to her own sanity. Now that’s what I call a good friend.

So far the ad, in conjunction with my book now being listed on Kindle Unlimited, has increased my book’s visibility and its sales in a positive manner. I’ve been a bit obsessive in measuring the difference between ad costs and the number of pages read. According to my calculations I’ve either made a profit of around one million dollars or $15.65. Really, it’s too close to call.

Studly Doright, of course reminds me that there’s no profit until I’ve recouped the costs of editing, cover design, and the other bits that went into self-publishing a novel. Sure hoping that million dollars is closer to the right estimate.

Peace, people!

Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08P76RBRD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_TP3VS136D2NK2NG2D65G