apology

Have you seen this post?  

It reminded me of a time several years ago that Studly and I had to deal with a couple of rude and obnoxious teenaged girls at a movie theatre in Champaign, Illinois. There was no apology forthcoming then, but I hope the annoying little sh*ts have seen the Facebook post above and are now old enough to feel at least a twinge of guilt for their behavior.

Studly and I had moved seats once during the opening credits to escape these girls who were chatting noisily and texting a couple of rows back. Apparently, that made us attractive targets because they soon moved directly behind us. 

Soon, one propped her foot up on the back of my seat. I turned around and she removed it only to begin kicking it repeatedly. Studly, my hero, turned around then and told them he was going to talk to the manager. They left, but during the climax of the film returned and again used my chair as a foot rest. 

Without saying a word, Studly and I got up and instead of leaving, sat down beside the little twits. They were flummoxed and didn’t move an eyelash for the final five minutes of the film.

As soon as the credits began Studly and I went to the lobby. On our way out we passed the two girls who were telling the manager about a “creepy old man and woman” who’d sat by them in the movie. Of course we set the record straight. I’m neither old, nor creepy.

Peace, people.

 

Cheech and Chong on Basketball

During the Elite Eight round of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament it seemed fitting to dredge up this oldie but goodie.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Cheech and Chong’s Basketball Jones.


Lyrics

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin’
In fac’, I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me

I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me

At the free-throw line of life, someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Oh, that sounds so sweet, sing it out
C’mon coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, honky, yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium
To stand up and sing with us

Oh yeah, sing it out like you’re proud
All right, everybody watchin’ coast-to-coast
Sing along with us, Bill Russell, sing along with us
Chick Hearn, sing along with us
Chris Schenkel, don’t sing nothin’

Oh, it feels so good, gimme the ball
I’ll go one on one against the world, left-handed
I could stuff it from center court with my toes
I could jump on top of the backboard
Take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change
I could, I could dribble behind my back
I got more moves than Ex-Lax I’m bad

I could dribble with my tongue
Here I go down court, try to stop me
You can’t stop me ’cause I got a Basketball Jones
Here I come that’s my hook shot with my eyebrow
Yeah, I could dunk it with my nose
I’m, I’m bad as King Kong, gimme the ball
I’m hot, I’m hot as, I’m hot as, I’m hot as, uh uh, uh, uh, uh

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones
Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones

 

Peace and hoops, People!

Give ‘Em L Tour Ending

All good things, 

They say

Must end. 

I want to know

Who are “they”

And why must I 

Listen to them?

 The three L’s leaving our mark on the beach at St. George Island, Florida, March 23, 2015.

These were a few of our favorite –ings:

Shopping

Wining

Dining

Exploring

Talking

Laughing

Reminiscing

 Lauren, Ponce de Leon, Leslie, and Lila, at The Fountain of Youth, March 25, 2015.

Leslie and Lila at The Spanish Sugar Mill in DeLeon Springs, FL, March 25, 2015.

 Lila and Lauren at The Blue Parrot, Saint George Island, March 23, 2015.

 Lauren, joined by two little folks at DeLeon Springs. One of my favorite pictures of the week.

Why is it that 

Spring break weeks

Take forever to arrive, 

Yet end almost as

Soon as they’ve begun?

That’s a question 

For the wise folks

Among us, and 

Certainly I am not one.

 

Peace, People!

Changing of the Purse

Seasons change

Clothes lighten up

Blacks and browns

Turn coral and lemon

Toes peek out of shoes

Nails painted prettily

Legs smoothed

Exfoliated.

When the task can no 

Longer be ignored a

Shift is made from

Old to new handbag.

Grimly the former is 

Held upside down, 

Its contents laid bare 

Upon a quilt:

Six quarters, two nickles, 

One dime, and many

Pennies.

Individually wrapped 

Toothpicks and breath mints,

A bottle of Advil and a 

Tube of hand cream.

Keys on a jingly ring and two

Tubes of lip balm.

Plus a wad of paper receipts.

Into the new bag go the

Necessary items. But at 

One time, everything felt

Necessary.

  

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

When our first son was very young, perhaps not yet two, he and I were snuggled under the covers on a cold, snowy morning. Studly Doright had left for work, so little Doright and I were catching a few precious zzzz’s.

As we basked in that delicious laziness that comes with sleeping in, little Doright asked sleepily, “Mommy, who is that man?”

I said, “What man, sweetie?”

“That one, Mommy, in the curtains.”

I saw nothing, but my heartbeat sped up just the same. Who knows who or what little Doright saw.

On another occasion I awakened from a nightmare in which Studly was chasing little Doright and me with a knife. I’d just finished reading Stephen King’s The Shining, so that dream was something of a logical consequence. However, from his crib in the room next to ours I heard little Doright crying, “Daddy, don’t hurt us! Daddy stop!”

Whoa! That was a surreal moment! Written in response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt.

Slow Day

Turtles move more
Quickly than
Days like this one
Sloths have more speed
Almost guaranteed.
Trees grow much more
Rapidly
It would seem
Than hours pass when
My man is gone.

There are only so
Many hours that
One can go to
Movies or
Watch tv or
Play Trivia Crack and
Words With Friends
Before one begins
Conversing with
Cats meaningfully, And they begin talking back.





Patience, Grasshopper

Softly tapping foot

Should signal my impatience

Yet here I still wait.

Drumming fingers, too provide

A clue I’m restless.

However no relief comes.

Waiting still. Patience.

  

Grasshopper, you sneak

Gobbling up every leaf

Destroying gardens

But you, too must eat to live

Just dine elsewhere, please.

Spring

I. Around the corner

Lurk petals ready to bloom.

Spring where have you been?

  

II. When robin first sings

All nature stops to listen

Welcome back my friend!

  

III. My heart is stirred by

Lengthening days, earth’s rebirth,

Warmth of soil and sun.

  

Time Does Not Care

The Kiss by David Walker

I’ll pose to you two
Questions posed to me
Does love remember?
Does time have meaning?
If he said today I’ll love you forever
Would that mean anything?
Would he remember after
We tangled over jealousy
And hurt feelings?
Would love conquer all?
Would the time we spent
Loving mean anything or
Would it be wasted?
I don’t think I could bear that,
That what we’ve had
Becomes meaningless.
Better not to have loved
At all
In spite of what the
Poets say.