Words With Pervs

I’m an avid Words With Friends player. At any given time I’ll have a dozen or more games going on with people I actually know and with others that I know only through Facebook or blogging. Some of my favorite opponents are those with whom I have only an internet relationship.

Lately, however, I’ve been inundated with opponents, who I learn after we’ve each played a few words, are only there to flirt or are in search of a more intimate relationship. Granted, given the opportunity they might only be interested in scamming me out of money, but they always start out by being curious about me. With these players I’m firm. I’m there to play WWF, not chat. If they continue to try and worm their way into my life I’ll ignore them until they either resign or give up. I’m not taking a loss in a game because of their poor behavior.

Here’s how one guy tried to get stuff started:

Chances are he’s not a native English speaker, even though his profile shows he lives in Wisconsin. The grammar is too odd.

After I told the guy that I would not chat and that he was free to resign, I got this:

Creepy, right? I figured out after this how to mute chat on the app.

I just wonder what has changed to bring all these pervs to my virtual door seemingly at once. I’ve played WWF for years without being harassed until just a few weeks ago. Now I might get five new weirdos a day clamoring to chat. I’ve stopped accepting games now from folks I don’t know outside of the game. And that’s a shame because I have had so much fun getting to know others who enjoy WWF.

Peace, people!

An Unfinished Game

Politics connected us, provided conversation.
We’d never met, and still, I wept the day
That Richard died.

I became friends with a fascinating man on Facebook through a Liberal group we’d gravitated to before this past election. Richard was smart, funny, and upbeat. I learned that he’d lost his wife a few months before we “friended” each other, and he was fighting through his grief while dealing with a grave illness of his own.

As he prepared for a round of chemo Richard asked for volunteers to play against him in Words With Friends, figuring it would be a great way to distract him from the rigors of chemotherapy.

I volunteered and we played one game after another. He was a novice player, and I beat him soundly every time. We didn’t chat much on the app; although, he promised he’d come out the winner eventually. 

A couple of days ago Richard posted on FB that he was going to take some time away from the computer to concentrate all his energy on feeling better. We all wished him well and figured he’d be back in no time, not knowing how very sick he was. The man never complained.

This morning, though, a post from Richard’s brother let us know that our friend had succumbed to complications from pneumonia. All of those who’d befriended him in our political group are devastated, and I cried all morning for the loss of this friend.

We never met in person. Chances are our real world paths never would have crossed, but I valued his friendship. And I mourn his death. Rest easy friend. 

Peace, people.

Politics: What’s Words With Friends Got To Do With It?

The 2016 election was a soul sucker. It was like carrying a baby for nine months and after 36 hours of labor having the doctor announce, “Congratulations, it’s a full grown rattlesnake!” 

On the one hand, you’re glad it’s all over, while on the other hand you wonder how long it’ll be before your baby delivers the lethal bite. Ah! Good times. 

Thank goodness for diversions like Words With Friends. Currently I have 21 games in progress, and any time there’s a lull in the action I start another one. Right now, I don’t even care if I win or lose. It’s the distraction from current events that counts.

The president-elect names a white supremacist as his chief strategist and senior counselor? I find a way to play a word containing both z and v.

A woman who doesn’t support public schools is named Secretary of Education? No worries, I play “teazles” for 182 points, and I don’t care that I have no idea what it means!*

I hear that Trump is refusing to take security briefings? Ok, I cried, but then I went on to play “equinoxes” and temporarily forgot that we have elected a lightweight to the highest office in the free world.

Reality bites right now. I think I’ll go start another game.

*verb archaic: 


1. raise a nap on (cloth) with or as if with teasels.

Friends I Don’t Know

Thanks to social media and WordPress I’ve become friends with a large number of people who* I’ve never actually met face to face.  (*Should that be whom? I’m sure one of my friends will let me know.)

I enjoy these friendships formed over creative writing, political leanings, and witty comments. In many ways they are as important to me as friendships formed in old-fashioned ways, such as over a shared love of hopscotch in elementary school or while playing hooky together in junior high (not that I ever did that, of course). 

Social media friends tend to be extremely forthright and plain-spoken. If one thinks you’re full of cow manure or a post is weak they’re likely to tell you, knowing they’ll never have to look you in the eye. If a fellow blogger doesn’t “like” or comment on a post their silence might indicate that they didn’t care for the piece or that they didn’t have time to actually read it. The Pollyanna in me always believes it to be the latter.

A friend I don’t know with whom I play Words With Friends (Roy S.) went missing from the game for more than a week, and I began to worry about him. Because the game is our only link, I had no way to inquire after him. Finally this week he played a word and in chat said he’d been unwell for the past few days. Whew! Of course I’d imagined poor Roy S. dangling from a cliff by one hand while trying frantically to type “a-p-r-a-x-i-a” with the other.

Similarly, if I don’t hear or read something from a blogger I follow I start feeling anxious. My imagination goes on overdrive and trust me, in my mind some of you have met spectacular ends. I’m so very relieved when I see a post from your site, and your make-believe death gets saved in my future fiction file.

This leads to the following question: Shouldn’t there be a way of making sure the friends we don’t know are ok? Maybe I’ll invent an app that generates one final note on social media upon one’s death. Something like:

Hey there. Leslie’s dead. She wanted you to know that your support meant so much. Here’s one last poem composed in advance of her demise to be shared on this occasion.


By Leslie aka Nana 

Life was so wonderful

But my time has come,

No one thought I was sick

Guess they feel pretty dumb.

But I lived a full life

Full of all that is good,

Now sit and weep for me

Like any real friend would.

Leslie knew this wasn’t much of a poem, but, hey she was really sick.

Peace, and good health, people!


Things to do When Your Flight is Delayed

  1. Play Words With Friends
  2. Find hidden patterns in the carpet and follow them until you reach a wall
  3. Make up stories about your fellow passengers
  4. Eat
  5. Eavesdrop
  6. Read every sign backwards
  7. Read every sign in pig Latin
  8. Check your email
  9. Eat
  10. Read a book
  11. Count ceiling tiles
  12. Trace the alphabet with your foot
  13. Begin thinking in a British accent
  14. Eat
  15. Decide the man sitting beside you is an escaped convict. Move to another chair.
  16. Count designer handbags
  17. Google “escaped convicts”
  18. Google yourself
  19. Create a Venn diagram of escaped convicts and delayed airline passengers
  20. Eat
  21. Read a book
  22. Start a new game with a random person on Words With Friends
  23. Play “Dumb Ways to Die”
  24. Play repeatedly without improving
  25. Make a stupid list 

Slow Day

Turtles move more
Quickly than
Days like this one
Sloths have more speed
Almost guaranteed.
Trees grow much more
It would seem
Than hours pass when
My man is gone.

There are only so
Many hours that
One can go to
Movies or
Watch tv or
Play Trivia Crack and
Words With Friends
Before one begins
Conversing with
Cats meaningfully, And they begin talking back.

Found Words with Friends

A blogger I follow, dare I say, a friend, and I have begun playing Words With Friends. We are pretty evenly matched. At the start of a recent game he suggested that we each create a found words poem from our efforts. What a great idea!

So here’s our completed game, and my poem follows. Please read my friend’s poem at https://aroilinpain.wordpress.com .



On the brink of goodbye 

She tread cautiously Into his space

A cup of joe as a parting gift

But he was curled under quilts in the fetal position

Claiming a pang in his wide open heart.

“You shrew,” he screamed, “You have no idea

How wide was my love for you. Woe is me!”

“Go ahead, throw darts,”she countered, “I can no longer feed your need for fame.”

In a dress of flawless moire, she addressed her ex with a shrug. 

“This will make for dishy gossip via the neighborhood pipeline.”

“Just let me see, one more time, a glimpse of your areolas,” he said, “and I promise I’ll dig no more.”

“Aw, Ed,” she grimaced, “This is why we cannot relate.”

Sh,” he cautioned in douce tones. “You are the nexus of my very being.”

Still, she placed her hand on the doorknob, “Once you were the tye to my tackle, the quahog of my pond. Now, you are just like a zit on a cob.”

Goodbye Candy Crush

Today is a momentous day. I’ve deleted Candy Crush and its demented sister, Soda Crush, from my electronic devices. Gone, as well, is Bejeweled Blitz. Snap! Just like that.

Now that I’ve discovered the joy of cooking for Studly Doright I want to spend my hours in pursuit of the perfect Studly-pleasing recipes. That and I need to get up and move more. My chair and I are starting to look like conjoined twins connected at the ass.

I must admit when I hit the little “x” on the quivering Candy Crush app icon my heart squeaked in protest. After all I was on Level 657. Let that sink in. If every level took just one minute to solve, and if I’d solved each of those levels on the first try that would have been 657 minutes of my life spent playing Candy Crush. But I spent WEEKS on many levels. I could have earned a Masters Degree in the time I spent playing Candy Crush alone.

And that was just one game. Soda Crush required roughly the same time commitment, and Bejeweled Blitz, well, it was addictive on a whole different level. Some nights I’d lie awake trying to picture ways to boost my scores. Fruitless, pointless, insomnia-inducing thoughts.

I’m sure there will be some withdrawal issues. My fingers might have to learn to relax, and my eyes to refocus. There was one game I didn’t delete, though. I’ve kept Words With Friends. It seems to serve some educational purpose. How else would I know that qi and qat were words?


Peace, People!