By, Bye, or Buy the Book

Estate sales are often the places where I buy interesting vintage pieces, but sometimes I find not-so-old stuff that could use a new home. This past weekend the estate sale pickings were pretty slim, but I did find one item that I could put to use immediately.

I know, most of you probably believe, based on my impeccable mastery of the English language and the rules of grammar that dictate its proper usage, that I would have no need for such a book. Then again, if you managed to read that last mangled sentence you realize that no one on earth needs the book more than I do.

Even if I didn’t need it, I’d still have wanted it. Words are the building blocks of life, right? Forget all that cellular level stuff, words are what make the world go ’round. One can never know enough about words.

From the very first two pages of content I could tell that this would be a valuable book.

Just look at “a while” and “awhile.” How many times have I used the incorrect word? I shudder just thinking of all the awhiles I’ve substituted for a while, and vice verse. Oddly enough, vice versa isn’t in the book, even though I’ve often seen it spelled “visa versa”.

And how about this duo: nauseated and nauseous? I know I’m guilty of using them incorrectly ad nauseam.

Plus, there’s the pesky “nip it in the bud” versus the butt. It’s always bud, by the way. No one wants to deal with butt nipping. Well, they likely won’t admit to it anyway. That could be construed as being sensual. Or is it sensuous?

Surely I have the ability to internalize this information.

I might be in love with this book. Or at least I feel affection (not an affectation) for it.

As a bonus, this newspaper clipping was tucked inside the book. I think I’d have really liked the person to whom this book once belonged.

Also, who knew there was a Grammar Man?

This purchase just gets better and better.

Peace, people!

The Assignment

Once upon a time I was a teacher. I wasn’t a great teacher, nor was I an awful one. I loved being with young people all day long, but I am a woman of little patience, and that is not a good thing when working with active children.

While I taught students in grades three through seven at various times in my career, by far my favorite years were those I spent teaching English to middle schoolers. I know what you’re thinking, “How’d someone with Leslie’s blatant disregard for the rules of grammar ever teach English?”

Shucks, y’all. I had a teaching manual. Duh. Seriously, though, before I began blogging I was much more cognizant of, and adherent to, those pesky rules. Now it’s “Rules, Shmules” most days. But this post really isn’t about me. Gasp!

One of the first assignments I gave as a seventh grade English teacher was for students to write about something important that had happened in their lives. It could be something funny or frightening, happy, or sad. I’m not even sure I placed a word count requirement on this paper, I just wanted to get to know the students better and to get a feel for their individual writing abilities.

I was shocked and pleased that those seventh graders went immediately to work, and after I’d read their rough drafts I knew that the students who wanted to share their stories with their classmates should have the opportunity to do so. Much of what they’d handed in was so honest that it had to be worth more than just a grade.

After making some editing and proofreading suggestions on each of the ninety or so papers (I taught four sections of English), I handed back the papers and told my students how proud I was to have them in my class, and that once they’d written their final copy I’d open up the floor for anyone who chose to share.

Now seventh graders are an interesting lot. I figured I’d have perhaps twenty percent of each class volunteer to read their papers. Instead, every single student shared their stories. And what an experience that became! I’m sure we spent way too much time on this activity, but my students and I bonded over these stories.

One athletic young man had us all in stitches as he told of the time he and his buddies got into his older sister’s closet and put on various pieces of her clothing, including tutus and swimsuits. and wore them to dinner, much to the horror of his sister and the amusement of his parents.

A shy young woman told of being chased by a vicious dog while riding her bike and being rescued by another dog at the last minute! By the end of the story her classmates were on the edges of their seats, cheering her on.

The story I remember having the most impact, though, was the story a quiet young man told about his mother’s illness. He and his father and sister were at the hospital visiting his mom who had been diagnosed with cancer. As the boy walked down the hospital hallway, he turned to his sister and asked, “Is Mom going to die?”

His sister became angry and told him that he just killed their mom because it’s bad luck to mention dying in the hospital. Their mother did die later that week, and the child blamed himself. The class sat silently when he finished, many were in tears. I was in tears, and I’d read the story.

The love that then surrounded that young man was amazing. Other students made a point to tell him he wasn’t to blame for his mom’s death. He knew that deep down, but hearing those words from his peers seemed to turn a light on in this child. I watched him blossom that year.

When we finished sharing, more than one child thanked me for allowing them to write about themselves. While I’d just been trying to help myself get a feel for their abilities, I got a good deal more. Extras like that are what make the profession unlike any other.

Peace, people.

Cringing Along

In response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

living a cringe-free
life; wouldn’t that be super?
i just can’t comply.

this one makes the cut

errors in spelling
and grammar, too make me cringe
including my own.


…surely spelling isn’t one of them

even smart people
can commit cringe-worthy crimes
i’m pleading the fifth.


Autumn Rhymes

Rhymes with Autumn

Did you get those shoes? Got ’em!
What will you do with those plants? Pot ’em!
How do you tie your laces? Knot ’em!
How’d you get those books? Bought ’em!
Where’d you get those fish? Caught ’em!
How’d they win the war? Fought ’em!
How’d those kids learn that? Taught ’em!

I know there are more
Ways to rhyme Autumn
Unfortunately I seem
To have reached
Rock Bottom!

Writing Wrongs

You said you want to meat me by the stares.
But I don’t no you that weigh or that well.
Don’t weight for me two long
I mite bee lost or confused.

You say yule give me your awl.
Butt I just want your hart, deer
And maybe your sole.
I just don’t want to loose ewe.

Our communication seams fatigued
Wee don’t always reed each other
In a way that nourishes or defends
But I like what I sea when ewe come around.


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