Bacon, Baby

Valentine’s Day was pretty low key here at Doright Manor. Poor Studly Doright has been swamped at work, so after he got home on Thursday evening I greeted him at the door with his gift and no expectations of an evening out.

His gift appeared to be a small Igloo cooler that I’d decorated with heart stickers. His reaction was underwhelming, until, that is, I told him that was just the gift wrapping. Inside was his actual gift:

A tube filled with Reese’s Cups and

two pounds of small batch, thick cut bacon!

For dinner we enjoyed pancakes and Studly’s Valentine’s Day bacon. Yum!

For his part Studly showered me with flowers, candy, and some oh-so-soft pajamas from PajamaGram. They’re lovely. I might’ve even worn them last night. Wink, wink. There’s a slight possibility that bacon is an aphrodisiac.

Peace, people.

A Rose is a Rose, Right?

Yesterday I arrived home from an appointment in Tallahassee to the sight of three boxes on the front porch. I’d been expecting two of them. One was a Valentine’s gift I’d ordered for Studly Doright, one was a legal document, and the third, unexpected box was from ProFlowers.

Of course I checked to make sure it was for me, (it was), and I opened it. I could smell the roses before I saw them, so I set them aside to prepare the enclosed vase. I took the clear glass receptacle from the box, filled it with room temperature water, and added the enclosed plant food before unwrapping the flowers. Within the wrapping paper there were only six blooming roses, but dozens of stems.

“Okay, I’m sure the rest are buds,” I thought. But they weren’t buds. Instead they were portions of wilted, dessicated petals that had never managed to reach their full potential, or had reached it, but in a stunted state. I went ahead and placed them in the vase even though they looked sad and sparse. Then I got a little ticked.

I was pretty certain my husband hadn’t placed an order saying, “Hey, I want the saddest bouquet of roses you all have in stock. Stems? Yeah, a bunch of stems are great. Even better if there’s a hint of petal remaining, you know, just to let her know they were ALMOST flowers.”

Should I call the company and make a formal complaint? Should I just accept the poorly fulfilled order? I hesitated for a minute or two, then decided to talk to someone at ProFlowers.

After going through the description of the roses with one customer service representative, who clearly wasn’t in a position to make things right, I was transferred to another woman who listened thoughtfully, looked up the order, and discovered that Studly’s initial order hadn’t even been correctly filled. According to this representative’s records, Studly had placed an order for chocolates and a premium vase to accompany the roses. So, I was right to contact the company.

They promised to expedite the correct order to arrive today, Valentine’s Day, and I’ll be watching and waiting to see if the product is what they promised. Surely it’ll be more robust than this one. And yes, I’m aware that there are some lovely roses in the bunch, but overall they weren’t up to snuff.

Peace, people!

Searching for the Right Valentine’s Day Card

How Do I Love Him? In 25 Words or Less

On February 2nd

The search began

For a card proclaiming

Undying love for my man

I looked at flirty cards

And sexy ones

Religious and

Romantic ones

Those that didn’t

Catch my eye

Were too verbose

With too many verses for my guy.

The number one thing

He likes in a card

Is conciseness in verbiage,

Just a few words from a bard.

So I strive to appease

The less words the better

This year I found one

With only one letter:

👁 💖 U

I think he’ll like that message, don’t you? I’m not sure I can find one with a briefer one.

Minimalist Challenge, Day 14

February 14 marks the midway point in the Minimalist Challenge. It also happens to be Valentine’s Day, so I thought it appropriate to arrange my 14 purged items in the shape of a heart.

Roughly, in the shape of a heart, that is.

And perhaps it’s appropriate that all of today’s items were purchased to enhance my physical attractiveness. Some worked to varying degrees; others did not.

What isn’t appropriate is that most of these containers are completely empty, and those that aren’t empty have been gathering dust in a bathroom drawer for many months, perhaps even years. It was time to say adieu.

On a side note, I was selected to serve on the jury for a trial slated to begin on Thursday. Hopefully it will be a matter quickly settled, but due process is important. If you don’t hear from me for a day or two, you know where I’ll be. Might need bail money….

Peace, people!

Taking the Plunge

Studly Doright took me out for dinner last night for an early Valentine’s Day celebration. He also bought me a bouquet of tulips in a box. You know, the kind you have to assemble yourself?

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore receiving flowers, but part of the romance is lost if I have to cut the stems, pull the leaves, and mix up that floral cocaine that keeps the flowers fresh. So this year I said, “Thanks, hon. Now you make ’em pretty for me.”

And miracle of miracles, he did! I know I’ll need to do a little fine tuning here and there, but at least he took the plunge. And that’s the definition of love. Taking plunges. 

 

Ok, he isn’t going to make a living arranging flowers, but Studly did this for me!
 
When Studly asked me out on our first date, he took a big, scary plunge. For all he knew I’d turn him down cold, yet still he asked.

Our first kiss was a plunge. I’m not sure which of us initiated the touching of lips to lips, but it was pure bliss and it was the moment I realized I might already be falling in love with this crazy, funny, smart(ass) boy.

And even though Studly was 99.9% sure I’d answer yes when he asked if I would marry him, that, too was a plunge.

Studly and I have been wed for almost four decades, and we’re still taking plunges. We plunged in head first on having children. Every one of our cross country moves has been a plunge. It’s been a veritable plunge-a-thon! 

With any luck, the biggest ones are behind us. But those little ones, like watching my big, handsome man arranging my bouquet of flowers, I hope we have many more of those.

Peace, and Happy Valentine’s Day, people!