Tag: humor

My New Journal

I’ve decided I’m going to attempt to keep a journal. Every day I’ll take a few minutes to jot down my deepest thoughts and meaningful musings. And some day, as God is my witness, I’ll have a body of work to be proud of!

Oh, who am I kidding? Writing for this blog is the closest I’ve ever come to keeping a journal, and it’s hardly noteworthy. However, I found a notebook at Target a couple of days ago and had to have it. It almost makes me want to begin journaling.

Intriguing cover, am I right? But open to the first page and you get this:

Every page has either an actual incorrect, yet amusing answer to a test question,

Or a cute doodle.

It’s so much fun to turn the pages that I can see myself scribbling my thoughts down, expounding on the ideas or enlarging the doodles. Or not.

This notebook does make me wish I’d compiled all of the inventive and unusual answers my students used on tests through the years, though. As I recall there were some doozies, but I can’t remember a single one. I reckon that’s why I should have kept a journal. Can I get an amen?

One of my favorites:

And this one:

We lived in North Dakota, and raised two children there. I sure hope this kid got credit for his answer.

Okay, I have things to accomplish today. Thanks for joining me in this nonsense.

Peace, people.

Snapshots #213, #214, #215, and #216, or “Before and After”

Last Saturday I brought home this piece from a garage sale:

The above photo is titled, Studly Doright Will Just See an Ugly Old Chair, while the photo below is, Surprise! It’s an Ugly Old Hamper, Too!

It was a bargain at $5.00, and I figured even I was up to the task of making it pretty again. And contrary to the title, Studly actually thought I’d found a gem!

Just look how beautiful it is all cleaned up!

Besides finding a colorful new cushion for the chair, I also applied a bit of oak tinted furniture repair paint to the white splotches, and then rubbed tung oil into the rattan. I am incredibly pleased with the results. I call these photos, Bare, Beautiful Chair, and Ta Da! respectively.

Now I just need to find a place for this beauty. None of my bathrooms has a vanity table or counter, but the chair might find a spot in my bedroom. I can picture the cats making themselves comfy on the cushion. Studly suggested selling it. Maybe he was just pretending to like the chair. Harrumph.

Peace, people!

Snapshots #213 and #215

Those who pay attention to such things will note that the numbers in my title are not consecutive. There’s a good reason for that. I shared photo #213, titled, Studly Doright Will Just See an Ugly Old Chair, several days ago.

I bought the vanity chair for $5 at a garage sale, and after asking my crafts-minded sister-in-law, Lyn, for advice I’ve begun the process of making it prettier. The first step was to buy a new cushion which was way easier than I’d imagined since the existing cushion was a fairly standard size.

Here’s snapshot #215, which I’m calling Old Chair with New Cushion:

Isn’t it already prettier? I found this cheerful cushion at World Market for half of its original price. So far, I have $19.00 invested in my chair. Now I need to clean it and as Lyn suggested, apply Tung oil to the rattan.

As blog posts go, this is hardly earth-shattering, but the project is keeping me out of trouble. For now, at least. Oh, and Studly actually likes the chair and pronounced that I’d found a gem! Will wonders never cease?

Peace, people!

Wine Talking

Last night I imbibed

A Cabernet Sauvignon

Mellow vibes accrued

Sweet drifting on sips

This languid summer evening

Deep in these red cups

Oh, deepest vintage

Layered tastes on eager tongue

Rich flavors ensued

What Would You Remember?

This morning while Studly played for the final day in his club’s golf tournament I decided to take myself to brunch at the Canopy Road Cafe on Apalachee Parkway in Tallahassee. It’s a bit of a drive from Doright Manor to this cafe, so I had plenty of time to listen to an entire episode of NPR’s RadioLab on Sirius/XM.

The segment that gave me pause was one about a music conductor who suffered an illness that resulted in him having the worst case of amnesia ever recorded. He literally could not remember what happened from one minute to the next. He attempted to keep a journal at the urging of his nurses, but the entries went something like It’s 8:02 and I am fully awake. This was followed by, It is now 8:03, and I’m truly awake. Then, It is 8:04 and I am awake!This pattern continued until something else occurred in his routine.

Since I was driving I didn’t write down his name, but I do remember that of his wife, Claudia. I remember because she was one of only two touchstones in his life. He might not always remember her name, but he lit up when he saw her and he wanted only to be near her, to kiss her, and to enjoy her hugs.

He also remembered how to read music and could sing lyrics to familiar songs. Claudia brought his choir members to the facility in which he lived, and her husband was able to conduct their performance as if nothing had ever changed.

All I could think of as I ate my omelet this morning was what would I remember if inflicted with a similar fate. Would it be Studly Doright’s face? Those of my children? Would it be my favorite books or movies? What would survive an almost complete memory loss?

There’s no way of knowing, of course, and I hope I never have to deal with Alzheimer’s or dementia, or any other memory stealing event. Still, maybe I need to begin reinforcing pleasant memories. Note to self: Give Studly a big hug and kiss when he returns from golf today.

What do you think you’d remember? Are there things you wouldn’t mind not being able to recall? That’s dangerous territory.

Peace, people.

Snapshots #213 and #214

Studly Doright is playing in a two day golf tournament at his course this weekend. It’s his first tournament since undergoing minor back surgery several months ago. He’s only played a couple of rounds in the past few weeks, so this tournament will be a test of his fortitude as well as his golfing skills.

Rather than sit at home doing nothing, I drove into Tallahassee and bummed around, finally stumbling onto a neighborhood garage sale. It was 10:30 a.m. before I found the sale, and most of the homes were running low on merchandise. In garage sale shopping the early bird truly does get the worm.

I wasn’t searching for anything specific, though, so I parked at one home and walked from sale to sale enjoying the mild weather and visiting with folks along the way.

Then I saw this piece:

It’s a wicker vanity chair with a built-in hamper. I’d never seen such a thing, so even though I have no idea where I’m going to put it I bought the silly thing for $5.00. The chair needs a new cushion and perhaps a coat of paint to cover up the marks on the front of the hamper.

I’m calling the first photo, Studly Doright Will Just See an Ugly Old Chair, and the second one, Surprise! It’s also an Ugly Old Hamper.

Peace, people!

Participation Time

I came upon this graphic online and shared it on my Facebook page. So far, it’s generated a good many responses. My answer was easy: jeans, books, and wine.

However, I don’t drink much wine, or any alcohol, since my stomach decided to revolt back in May, so I’ve need to make a different choice for the third spot.

Since I’m losing something consumable let’s examine similar choices. I don’t drink coffee anymore, and I can live without chocolate. Tea is lovely, but not a must have. Tacos are the part of my Mexican meal that I leave for last in case I become too full to eat everything on my plate, so they can be dispensed with.

We don’t do Netflix at Doright Manor, so that’s something I can easily do without. The same goes for dry shampoo. As short as my hair is I can’t see any advantage to dry shampooing over wet shampooing. And along the same lines, there’s no way I can form a messy bun. I have a messy strand or two, but nothing “bunnable.”

By my reckoning that leaves jewelry, pajamas, lipstick, and leggings. I own a few pairs of leggings, but apparently they’re only in my closet for decorative and dust-catching purposes. They are super comfy on rainy, stay at home days, but then so are pajamas. Out with leggings, then.

Lipstick, they say, is critical for aging women. However, since I don’t know who “they” are, I’m going to ignore their advice. My lipstick never stays for more than an hour at a time, anyway, so buh-bye. I can always use crushed berries gathered from the forest if I need to color my lips.

Down to two choices now, jewelry and pajamas.

I love my pajamas. They’re soft and they keep my thighs from touching each other at night. I own three nearly identical pairs of pajamas, and they give me comfort.

As for the jewelry, I don’t own many expensive pieces. My wedding set isn’t worth much, but it has significant emotional and sentimental value. Studly Doright has bought me a couple of lovely items these past few years that in a pinch I suppose I could sell. Then there are the Celtic earrings I picked up in Scotland and the necklace I purchased from a craftsman at the Poulnabrone Dolmen in Ireland. I wear those pieces nearly every day.

Pajamas or jewelry? Oh man. I’m going with jewelry. No, pajamas. No. It’s jewelry. Final answer. My thighs are going to have to find a way to get along. I’ll just invest in anti-chafing cream and hope the stock market makes us rich.

Give it a go–which three items would you choose to keep and why? I’m curious.

Peace, people.

Suffering from a Severe Lack of Oomph

I surrender! I have all these photos of the grandkids’ visit, but not the oomph needed to write about them. My oomph evaporated on Monday afternoon when I left the kids at the airport in Panama City Beach, and I’m not sure when it’s coming back.

Life continues, though, as does this blog, so I’m going to take the easy, less oomph reliant path and just post photos. If the spirit moves me, I might even comment on them. If not, well, make up your own captions. Oh, I started at the end of their visit and went backwards for some reason.

Here are a few from our morning in Panama City Beach before we headed to the airport:

Dominique and friend, Sophia, pose outside Dick’s Last Resort.

Enjoying a pineapple drink on the promenade.

Dominique pushing Jackson in a beach wheelchair so he wouldn’t get sand in his cast. I pushed him out to the beach and she pushed him back to the pavement. Hey, I think I know the moment my oomph disappeared!

Ahhh! The sun and the sand and the water.

Dining at Dick’s Last Resort, where the waiters are rude on purpose and the giggles are non-stop.

From our trip to Wild Adventures in Valdosta, Georgia on Sunday:

Poppa (aka Studly Doright) and Jackson built a motorcycle during the kids’ visit. For some reason I didn’t take any “before” photos, but this bike was in pieces at the beginning of last week:

Tallahassee Museum and Zoo is one of the grandkids’ (and grandparents’) favorite places to visit.

While the two 15-year-olds embarked on the tree-to-tree adventure,

Jackson, Studly, and I explored the zoo area:

At Jackson’s request we went “thrifting.”

And I took the girls sightseeing and swimming at Wakulla Springs:

And that’s about it. The kids and I stayed up late to watch a scary movie one night, but I didn’t document that. I had crafts for us to do, but those ideas were met with little enthusiasm. That’s just fine. I’m not sure my limited supply of oomph would’ve allowed for much creativity.

It’s awfully quiet around Doright Manor since they’ve been gone. The only one happy with the kids’ absence is our cat, Patches. Maybe she’ll help with the oomph issue.

Or not.

Snapshot #212

I own a couple of pairs of Spanx. They’re great for containing, smoothing, and camouflaging parts of my body that aren’t all that firm anymore, like my waistline and my abdomen. I don’t wear them often, reserving them for special occasions. It’s not that I don’t want to look svelte all the time, it’s just that I live in the Sunshine State where more layers equal more discomfort.

So when I saw these new offerings from Spanx in a Tallahassee department store I did a double take:

Am I supposed to wear these with my tank tops?

I think I’ll call this, I Know I Need Them, but No Thanks, Spanx.

Peace, people (and seriously, I should cease wearing tank tops!)

Snapshot #210

Yesterday (Sunday) was nuts. Studly Doright and I took the Texas grandkids and their friend, Sophia, to Wild Adventures theme park in Valdosta, Georgia. I was too worn out from all the fun and heat last night to write a blog post, and this morning I have to get the crew up to catch their flight out of Panama City. A single snapshot is all I have time to post today.

I call this one, “The Trouble with Butterflies.” Darn thing wouldn’t stand still.

Peace, people.