Pretending for Grownups

Before I began blogging on WordPress occasionally I’d write what I called “Pretending for Grownups” posts on Facebook. My Facebook friends would read them and declare, “Oh! You should write a blog!” Ironically, very few of those who urged me to blog actually read my blog–but I blame (and thank) them for my addiction to blogging.

Today Facebook resurrected one of my “memories” which happened to be an early Pretending for Grownups. I thought I’d share it with you. Ah, the good old days…


Trade Offs

Boxers or briefs,
Salad or soup,
Ranch or French
Alone or a group?

Introvert or extrovert,
Country or rock,
Canine or feline,
Piaget or Spock?

Switchers or fighters,
Whole milk or fat free,
Harley or Yamaha,
Democrat or GOP?

Star Wars or Star Trek,
Beatles or the Stones,
Connery or Craig,
Han Solo or Indiana Jones?

Life is full of trade offs
Everything’s a choice
So hurry, close the menu
And give yourself a voice.

Me, the Critic

I’m a frequent moviegoer. Perhaps with the right education I might’ve become a movie critic. Instead, I just see as many different movies as I can and place them into one of three columns:

  1. Movies that stink
  2. Movies that don’t stink
  3. Movies I love and will pay to see again and again.

Column #2 boasts the largest number of films. I’m fairly forgiving, and if I can find anything amusing or endearing about a movie it earns a “Movies that don’t stink” berth. 

Honestly, not too many movies get a spot in column #1. Occasionally I’ll come across something that has no redeeming qualities such as Eyes Wide Shut which tolled the death knell for Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s marriage and might’ve been ok if it had been even slightly arousing. 

  
I saw it after having imbibed one too many alcoholic beverages, and ended up giggling throughout the film. It was only much later that I realized it wasn’t a comedy. Oops! Definitely a column #1 kind of film.

Similarly, column #3 is fairly small. Episodes IV, V, and VI of the Star Wars saga are founding members (episode I narrowly missed being placed in column #2) along with the three original Indiana Jones movies. 

 

A man who deserves his own category.
 
On Wednesday I saw the latest installment in the James Bond franchise, Spectre. Good heavens, Daniel Craig is the bomb. Even if the movie stunk, which it doesn’t, I’d put it in column #2. Talk about redeeming qualities! Whew! And, if I can’t stop thinking about those qualities, Spectre might just get moved into column #3.

  
Peace, people!