Category: Life

Trapped!

I am not a stay at home anything, and when I’m forced to remain at home I begin to feel claustrophobic regardless of the size of my current abode.

Today I am confined to Doright Manor as I wait for various contractors to show up to perform their respective duties. Our covered porch project has been clipping along at a nice pace with little assistance from me until this beautiful fall day. I should be out walking, shopping, dining, etc., and here I sit watching Dr. Oz in hopes that at least someone will show up today to justify my confinement.

There was a knock on my door an hour ago. I’d fallen asleep in front of the television and it took me a couple of minutes to get my bearings and to wipe the drool from my cheek. Expecting the electrician I motioned the man through my front door where he smiled and asked if I’d accepted Jesus as my personal savior. 

I nodded and in turn asked him if he’d accepted electricity as a profession. He shook his head no and I pretty much pushed him out the door. Back to waiting.

 

Maybe I should look for obvious clues.
 
Peace, people!

Pep Talks

Me: Dang, that was good pizza!

Me: It sure was. Now where do you want to go?

Me: I don’t care. Somewhere I can walk.

Me: The mall?

Me: No, I’ve been there twice this week.

Me: True, but it’s a great place to get your 10 flights of stairs. And you did just consume a huge slice of pepperoni pizza.

Me: Okay. The mall it is, but do NOT let me buy anything. 

Me: Deal!

Me: Here, you handle the money. It’s safer that way.

Me: Whatever makes you happy.

Me: You make me happy.

Me: 😊

Yes, this happened. I hope the guy sitting next to me at Momo’s Pizza recovers from his shock soon.

  

Peace, people!

Helpful Information Regarding Bacon

Just remember folks, you might’ve read it here first, even though I borrowed every bit from Pinterest. Read and learn. You can thank me later. Or now. I like being thanked. With bacon.

 
Every man should come with a side of bacon.  
 I have been known to steal bacon. I’m not proud of it, but I’ll probably do it again.  
The next one, I have to disagree with a little. That’s still not enough bacon.

 
True story, I really thought it was called bacon soda for years.

   
Studly only looks at bacon like its bacon. 

 
Really, this happens.  
And now I’ll return to my previously scheduled diet.

Peace, people! 

Making Friends

I might’ve found a friend today in the handbag department at Dillard’s. She moved to Tallahassee a year to the day before I did. If that’s not the basis for a good friendship I don’t know what is.

 

We bonded over this Frye bag. Good heavens the woman has good taste!
 
Peace, people.

Cat Scratch Fever

I had my first bonafide injury as a kennel assistant this past week when a reluctant-to-be-held kitten sunk her sharp little claws into the skin on my chest. 

 
The kitten was way cuter than Ted Nugent, and is much more politically savvy than the aging has-been rocker, so of course I forgave her. 

The incident with the kitten does indicate that I have not quite reached the coveted level of kitten cuddler. Kitten cuddlers are well versed in proper handling techniques.

  
And there’s more to the job than this photo ^^^ would have us believe.

Still, I am wearing my scratches as part reminder/part badge of honor: I came, I cuddled, I was clawed. There is no honor without sacrifice, and stuff like that.

 

Melvin
 
C’mon folks! Adopt, don’t shop!

Economics of the Fitbit

After I write this I solemnly promise my readers will never have to read another post about my Fitbit, but I thought some of the presidential candidates might need this information. It could be a game changer.

I’ve decided that the Fitbit might be a great boon to the economy and should be touted as such. Janet Yellen, heed my words! If every American had one the economy could make a complete recovery. Here’s my breakdown of benefits to the economy directly linked to the Fitbit:

1) Initially I drove to Best Buy using gasoline I purchased at a local gas station.

2) I bought a Fitbit Charge HR for around $150.

3) After purchasing my Fitbit I dined at Chicken Salad Chick where I spent $11.00 on my favorite scoop of Cranberry Kelly with a side of fresh fruit. 

4) I needed good walking shoes, so I purchased a new pair at a local shoe store, spending another $80.

5) My socks irritated my toes, so I drove across town to a place that sells specialty socks and plunked down $12.00 for a pair. I like these and will soon buy more.

6) It’s been too hot most days to walk outside, so I drive to one of the malls in Tallahassee to walk in air conditioned comfort. Malls are dangerous places for me financially. I have purchased thus far:

  • A new sports bra  ($58)
  • Moisturizer ($48)
  • Jeans and two blouses ($179)
  • Face cleanser and assorted cosmetics ($44)
  • Food Court food — mostly grilled chicken (approximately $35)
  • Miscellaneous items ($20)

Keep in mind that I also must drive to and from the mall. I’ve spent a lot of money this month thanks to my Fitbit.

Maybe this post wasn’t such a great idea. Forget I wrote it, and whatever you do, Don’t Tell Studly!

(But I have lost 8 pounds.)

  
Peace, people!

Sleep Patterns

i’ve been accused now
by the abrupt
no kiss good night

the ensuing silence may be
construed as rest
or as fomentation.

too still, no easy patterns
of inhalations, no
gentle exhalations.

the clock measures time in
unslept minutes
awaiting judgement.

when the eruption occurs
i can think only of
future accountability.

i seem to have gotten it,
every bit of it,
wrong yet again.

no easy answers and now
i feel damned
either way.

we really are much too
old to live like this,
i sigh.

the sigh sets him off
anew, fuel to his
unspent fire.

sleep finally intrudes;
we can only say
so much.

  
Peace, people.