We hold some scars sacred
The slashes in our hearts
The cuts that never heal
Mostly, those unseen,
Those so deep that no one even knows they exist
Inside the heart
On the surface of the soul
We can’t let them go
While savoring the burn
Scars
Month: September 2020
Fever
Last night I went to bed early. I didn’t feel well and after taking my temperature realized I was running a slight fever. I NEVER run a fever. My normal is 97.8 and even on my sickest days it barely rises to 98; however, last night it was up to 99.2. Not enough to be worrisome, but enough to make me feel rotten.
So I blew Studly Doright a kiss goodnight and made myself a nest in one of the guest bedrooms where I was alternately hot, then cold, then hot again for much of the night. Only after my fever broke was I able to sleep. Amazingly, this morning I felt fine.
Of course, being the hypochondriac that I am, I was certain I had contracted Covid-19, even though I never leave the house without a mask and am super careful about interactions with others.
Then Studly Doright cut his golf game short today because he didn’t feel well. I’ve seen him play eighteen holes on knees that were so bad he could barely walk from the cart to the ball, so for him to leave mid-game is telling.
After a nap and some homemade (okay, Campbell’s) chicken noodle soup, he’s feeling much better. Studly never ran a fever like me, but his stomach was rebelling.
The two of us seem to have gotten a bug of some kind. Hopefully it’s played itself out and we can get back to worrying about something else, like whether to watch college football or another episode of Dexter.
Peace, people!
The Right Side of the Force
I just bought a new white helmet to go with my new white bike. Matching is extremely important to me.
But the more I look at this stark white helmet, the more I feel like I’m ready to play a stormtrooper.
Straight out of the Star Wars universe. But, I’m one of the good girls, right?
May the Force, and peace, be with you.
Vodka Soda
I think I’ve reached my lifetime wine limit. Or at least my limit for this year. Wine just doesn’t sound good right now. Weird, but true.
Instead, lately I’ve been treating myself to a vodka soda or two in the evening. They’re refreshing, come in a lot of interesting flavors, and low in calories. Last night I enjoyed a cool mint flavored soda by Canteen. It’s tasty.
If you’re thinking “Leslie had NOTHING to write about today,” you’re absolutely right. See, vodka is good for something.
Peace, people.
Honoring the Dead
A classmate of mine passed away this week. We’d attended kindergarten together. We were in band together. His family lived across the alley from my grandparents’ home in a small Texas town. I’m sad that he is gone.
I’m sad even though he was pretty cruel to me when we were in junior high and high school. He taunted me more than once. Insinuated some pretty awful stuff about me—none of it true. Made jokes about me even as I sat right there two bleacher seats in front of him at a basketball game. He hurt me emotionally that time. I went home in tears.
Still, he was somebody’s son, somebody’s father, somebody’s sibling. He died too soon, and maybe, given the chance, he might’ve apologized for all he’d said about me. All the times he’d hurt my feelings. I’ll never know. But, I forgive him, and that feels so good.
Peace, people.
Blast from the Past
Studly Doright’s middle sister, Angie, sent us some old photos she found while cleaning out some boxes the other day. And when I say old, I mean OLD.
Here’s Studly and me dancing at the annual Sweethearts’ Ball in Dumas, Texas. The photo isn’t dated, but it must’ve been mid-80’s. At any rate, we were both still skinny.
When I first saw this photo I thought it was taken the same year that the one below was—after all, I’m wearing the same skirt and blouse. I’m thrifty like that. But I had that awful perm in the top photo. I think I should wear my hair like this again. All in favor, say aye.
The next photo cracked me up; my sense of style was a bit skewed. I have no memory of this horrid skirt, and why did I think that necklace would go well with this ensemble? And it looks as if I’m wearing a headband. I NEVER wore headbands. I know we were poor, but yikes! Maybe it was a tacky-themed party? Let’s hope I burned the whole shebang soon after.
There’s nothing like old photos to make one wince, is there?
Peace, people!
Mars
I hear Mars is beautiful tonight in some parts of the world
The trees here where I live obstruct my view of the late summer sky, so I can only imagine.
It’s the only thing I miss from our days living on the plains, where I could look up and say,
“See, there’s Venus or Mars or Jupiter.” Once for a week the three lined up and I
Sat outside with the smell from a neighbor’s wood-burning fireplace my best companion,
That and the off again, on again lightning bugs, playing peekaboo in the bushes.
The webbed lawn chair’s plastic, scratchy against my pajama-clad legs,
A glass of Merlot, sipped slowly, once empty, the sign I should give up the watch
Leaving the celestial trio to their own devices for another night.
In Support of Hazel Eyes
Recently, it has been brought to my attention that brown eyes are not the most neglected eye color in music. That dubious honor goes to hazel eyes. More than one of my hazel-eyed readers reminded me of that. I thought maybe I should attempt to write such a song, but I’m no songwriter.
Maybe, though, there already are such songs, they just haven’t gotten appropriate notice. Thanks to google, I’ve found a multitude of such songs. Well, no, I found two with hazel eyes in the title.
Kelly Clarkson’s “Behind These Hazel Eyes” is really good. I suspect she, too, was upset by the lack of representation for her hazel-eyed sisters.
Then, there’s the song, “Hazel Eyes,” by The Darkness.
I’d never heard of The Darkness, but thanks to “Hazel Eyes,” I’ve enjoyed listening to them this morning. According to Wikipedia, “The Darkness are a British rock band formed in Lowestoft, Suffolk, in 2000. The band consists of Justin Hawkins, his brother Dan Hawkins, Frankie Poullain and Rufus Tiger Taylor. The Darkness came to prominence with the release of their debut album, Permission to Land, in 2003.”
But there are songs that mention hazel eyes. Mark Wills, song “Because I Love You,” includes the following lyrics:
Additionally, In my search I stumbled onto Lyrics.com, a site that finds specific words in songs. It seems hazel eyes do get mentioned now and then!
Unsurprisingly, blue eyes get the most mentions.
Green eyes are a distant second:
With brown eyes in an even more distant third place.
Undoubtedly, hazel eyes don’t receive nearly enough attention, and yet, they’re lovely.
Peace, hazel-eyed people.
Brown Eyed Girls
My eyes are brown. Before my eyelids began drooping my eyes were big and beautiful. Now, they’re just plain—hardly noticeable behind my glasses.
Someone once told me my eyes were my best feature. I took that as a compliment until I realized that the eyes are pretty much EVERYONE’s best facial feature. I mean, a mouth could be, I guess, but the eyes provide color and sparkle and personality. Without the eyes, what do you have left? Not much to talk about, that’s what.
Again, my eyes are brown, and I’ve always felt like brown eyes get ignored in songs. As I’ve listened to hour upon hour of country music over the past three months doing research for my little romance novel, I’ve been bombarded by tales of men hankering for blue eyed girls and green eyed girls, but not a single mention of a brown eyed girl in popular country music as far as I can tell.
But, what about music as a whole? Are there brown eyed girls in those songs? We all know Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”. It is, for obvious reasons, one of my favorites.
Interestingly enough, though, the original title of Morrison’s song was “Brown Skinned Girl!” Damn.
A song from my childhood, “Birds and the Bees” specifically mentions big brown eyes. I always imagined it had been written just for me. Of course at the time I thought we were talking literally about birds and bees.
A google search of songs about brown eyes turned up a few more. Actually, quite a few more. There are a couple of redundancies, but brown eyes do get some attention. And Crystal Gale’s “Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Blue” is arguably a country song.
I’ll not rest, though, until brown eyes take their place alongside the blues and greens of this world. It’s my new mission in life.
Peace, people!
Country Protest Songs
Nowadays my ears are constantly attuned to finding new protest songs. If ever there was a time for such songs, it’s right now, and I’ve been hard pressed to find ones that make me think, “hell, yeah!”
Surprisingly, several of the ones I have found have come from the country genre—typically the bastion of conservative thinking.
There’s The Chicks’ “March March” which pulls no punches when addressing racial inequality. Of course, The Chicks have never shied away from addressing injustice. Their outspokenness cost them millions of dollars during the younger Bush’s time in office, but they never backed down. That’s righteous.
Then Eric Church has a song out that challenges the status quo. The first time I heard it I did a double take. Was he saying what I thought he was saying when he recorded, “Stick That in Your Country Song”? Yes, yes he was.
Yesterday, I heard a song by Brent Cobb called “Shut Up and Sing.” It’s undeniably a protest song, and worth a listen.
It gives me great hope to hear these country voices speaking out on social issues. Here’s hoping their fans are listening.
Praying for Eyebrowz 