Ask Siri what you should be for Halloween. I call this one, “Be Careful What You Ask For.”
Month: October 2016
Twenty-four Hours
Days aren’t as long as they used to be. Back when our two children were feisty toddlers and my
Husband worked revolving shifts, twenty-four hours lasted twenty-four years and nobody
Cared that I was drowning in every single second. Nurturing was a foreign concept peddled
By well-meaning matrons and judgemental church ladies. What in hell was wrong with me
That I didn’t gush over every milestone, each budding tooth, too exhausted to care that my babies
Wouldn’t be babies forever and that someday twenty-four hours would feel like twenty-four
Minutes, and a year reduced to a week and my babies grown and out on their own. Too soon.
My daughter celebrates her 36th birthday today. Even though I love her fiercely I wasn’t a patient mommy. The days of her infancy passed as slowly as liquid concrete, and I wish with all my heart we could have a do-over.
But she’s grown into an amazing, beautiful woman, and I’m so very proud of my Ashley. I love her, like her, care about her. Every day.
Peace, people.
Why I Am Thankful for Donald Trump
Ha!
The Elephant in the Room
(Caution–some strong language)
Picture if you will Mr. and Mrs. Republican. We’ll call her Jane and him Dick. The two have gathered with their 2.5 children (Dick Jr., Little Mary and a player to be named later) ’round the dinner table.
Dick: Look at this fine dinner your mother has prepared! Little Dick, why don’t you ask the blessing?
Dick Jr.: Ok, Daddy. Dear God, thank you for this meal, and please don’t let that bitch Hillary Clinton become the president. Amen.
Jane: Little Dick! That was hardly a Christian prayer!
Dick: Son, you can’t just say that word in a prayer. Er, (looking at Jane) or about a woman.
Dick Jr.: But Daddy, I heard you call her a bitch.
Dick: Yes, but I’m a grown up. Pass the roast.
Little Mary: Mommy, what’s a bitch?
Jane: (sternly looking at big Dick) Sweetheart, that’s what a female dog is called.
Little Mary: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Jane: Sweetheart, let’s not say that.
Dick: I’m sick of political correctness! Call a spic a spic, a coon a coon and a bitch a bitch. You know that dear. That’s why we’re voting for Donald Trump.
Jane: (covering Little Mary’s ears) Well, about that. Well, hmmm, I’m not sure I can support Trump.
Dick: (slams hand on table) For heaven’s sake Jane! We’ve always voted Republican, and we’ll continue to vote Republican. Now, pass the potatoes. Did I tell you Rev. Johnson stopped by work today?
Jane: Oh? What was he doing?
Dick: Well, he’s in charge of the county’s “Baptists for Trump” rally and he asked if I’d introduce him.
Jane: I don’t know why our church endorsed Trump. Shouldn’t the church stay out of politics?
Dick: Not with that Hillary knocking on the door of the White House.
Dick Jr.: Trump that bitch!!
Dick: (ruffling son’s hair) Now, Little Dick….
Jane: Little Dick, if you say that word one more time you’ll go to your room without dinner.
Dick: (winks at son) Best mind your mom, son.
Jane: (frowning) Maybe I just won’t vote this year.
Dick: (turning red in the face) Now Jane, remember the good book says you must submit to your husband. Your husband says you’ll vote for Trump and that’s the end of this conversation.
Little Mary: But Mommy!
Jane: What sweetheart?
Little Mary: Didn’t preacher say we need to be like Jesus?
Jane: Yes. Yes he did.
Little Mary: Did Jesus say it was ok to grab women by their pussies?
Jane: Oh! Little Mary! We just don’t say things like that, and Jesus would never have done such a thing.
Little Mary: Then why does Daddy like Mr. Trump?
Jane: I’m beginning to wonder.
Note: I started this piece months ago, but just felt it was too dark and too cynical to publish. Then Trump went there, boasting of having groped women against their will, bragging that they let him because he was a celebrity. Still, I thought, surely this will give those evangelical Christians who’d thus far supported him time to reflect and realize that Trump really is the antithesis of Christian love, respect, and humility.
Then last night I came across a video post on Facebook that shook me. A supposedly good Christian man was exhorting people to put their trust in Trump. Most alarming, though were the comments of people I know, groupie-like in their pleas for Donald Trump to avoid some trap the media had set for him–the trap of telling the truth.
Jesus loves Trump, but I’m pretty sure he would drive him from the temple with whips and chains given the chance. God help us all if Trump wins this election. Can I get an amen?
Woman
Maker of the bed
Keeper of stolen secrets
Woman of few regrets.
In the wee small hours,
Clichèd as it might appear
Her conscience is clear.
Affairs in order
Assignations underway
She sleeps, unconcerned.
World Series Lite
I understand that the first game of The World Series begins tonight featuring two teams with epic hard luck stories and armies of loyal “there’s always next year” fans.
Studly Doright and I lived in Illinois for eight years, and while I never became a rabid Cubs fan I did root for them. However, I’ve actually been to an Indians game, whereas, I never made it to Wrigley Field to see the Cubbies play. That’s still on my bucket list.
My son-in-law, Stephen the Great, and my grandson, are big Cubs fans, though, so I’ll put my energy into cheering for them.
As a good friend once said, baseball is a simple game. You hit the ball, you throw the ball, you catch the ball. Piece of cake, right? We just have to do it better than those guys from Cleveland. Let’s do this! Fly the W!
Peace, and hot bats, people!
Falling In
One of the best nature photographers/bloggers out there. You really should follow naturehasnoboss.com.
As we stood watching the golden leaves fall from the trees one leaf seed to fall into the tree. Upon closer inspection it was this beautiful dragon fly dressed in fall colors and very camouflaged.
Mourning Fictional Characters
Caution: The Walking Dead and Outlander spoilers!
Have you ever mourned a fictional character? A couple of nights ago I buried four of my most beloved fictional characters: Rollo, the wolf/dog from the Outlander books along with Henri-Christian, the youngest grandson of Jamie and Claire Fraser. Then on the Walking Dead the villain Neegan killed Abraham and Glenn. And still I reported for work this morning. Talk about stamina!
Rollo has died and I’m bereft. Old age took this faithful canine and now only Ian is left.
Buried near him is the sweet dwarf, grandson to Claire and Jamie. I couldn’t believe they
Took him from us, he was still a baby. And what about Glenn on the Walking Dead, his
Head bashed in by Negan? Along with Abraham who felt the weight of the vampire bat,
Lucille. Fictional characters are people, too, and mourning their deaths is redemption
For all the time we’ve spent with them and the pleasure they’ve given without exception.
Snapshot #47
I’m calling this, “Never Let Your Husband Contribute to the Shopping List.”
Home Improvement
When we purchased our home over two years ago we knew eventually we’d want to do something about the front courtyard area. The previous owners, who’d built the home, paid a gardener to tend the two small plots on either side of the front walkway twice a month, but Studly and I weren’t crazy about taking on another bill. Actually I remember the conversation going something like:
Studly: We can’t afford both a gardener and a housekeeper.
Me: Cross off gardener. Check.
And that was the end of that story.
Except that we didn’t really think about the amount of yard work this courtyard area required. There was weeding and raking and digging and more weeding and since neither of us wanted to do any of that it just didn’t get done. Before too long Doright Manor’s entryway was overgrown and under utilized.
I had the bright idea of having the area done in paving stones, but the estimate in the neighborhood of seven grand put a damper on that idea. Occasionally I’d go putter about trying to clean up all the unidentifiable growing things, but my efforts made it even uglier.
Finally Studly and I drew up a plan to do something simple and hopefully manageable with our courtyard. That was months ago, and we worked on it a little bit in the evenings and on weekends.
We had to till everything up and cap off sprinklers.
Then we put down heavy duty matting and laid out some big stones before adding mulch.
We plan to add a decorative potting bench and container plants on this side.
Then on the opposite side we placed a little bench that I found at the French Country Flea Market on Friday. I fell in love with the butterfly shape.
Now we need to personalize the courtyard with accents and plants for a more finished look. I’m not much of a decorator, so I know there will be a good deal of trial and error involved, but maybe this is something we can keep in good order without too much effort from a pair of non-gardeners. And I get to keep my housekeeper.
Peace, people!
Praying for Eyebrowz 