Grumpy Trump’s on a Roll

Or a sandwich. He insisted on white bread made with a white sandwich spread and served on a white napkin. He said it’s the best sandwich ever. Much better than any sandwich Obama made. Bigger, too.

I asked if he wanted it toasted:

But he just gave me the finger.

Peace, people.

Newlywed Sandwich

My husband, Studly Doright, enjoys recalling our early days of matrimony when his young bride (me) tried to settle into the life of a domestic goddess. Studly was a hard working young man, in a blue collar job with a natural gas company, and I was clueless.

On Studly’s first day back to work after our honeymoon, I arose early to prepare his lunch. I’d never prepared a lunch for anyone other than myself, but how hard could it be? I spread two slices of white bread with a smear of mayonnaise, a piece of bologna, a bright yellow square of American cheese, and added a baggie filled with Studly’s favorite Cheetos. I was pleased with the way his lunch looked as I loaded his manly lunch pail and sent him to work with a smile and a kiss.

When my husband came home from work that afternoon he politely told me that his lunch wasn’t quite big enough. So, on day two of making his lunch I put not one, but two pieces of bologna on his bread and added a few more Cheetos to the baggie. Again, I admired the way his lunch looked and sent him on his way with a sweet smile and a kiss.

Studly came home from work that afternoon, took me by the hand, looked me in the eye and said, “Honey, I’m going to make my own lunches from now on.”

Apparently I was starving him to death. Even forty-one years after those first days of marriage Studly remembers how he almost cried upon seeing how paltry his lunch looked. I’d like to think I’d do better now, but he’s not taking any chances.

Thanks to https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/ for the inspiration for this post.

The Noyzinator Deluxe

Daily Post’s Daily Prompt–“You the sandwich: If a restaurant were to name a dish after you, what would it be?”

Frankly I’m surprised someone hasn’t already named a dish after me, but since, as far as I know they have not, let me wax eloquent on the topic.

The Noyzinator Deluxe
Two slices of soft white bread
Mayonnaise spread on both slices
Three slices of thick sliced bacon
Ripe avocado slices
Two fresh tomato slices
Leafy green lettuce
A dash of salt
Fresh ground pepper

–serve with a side of fresh grapes–

Duchess of Sandwich
the noblest of titles
conveyed upon me.