The Klutz Life

As I was shaving my legs this morning I managed to nick the tender area of my inner ankle bone on not just one leg, but both. Not gonna lie, I cursed. One of the cuts bled on the rug as I limped over to the cabinet for a bandage. I cursed again.

As I straightened up from cleaning the spot of blood on the rug, I conked my head on the cabinet door that I’d carelessly left open after getting the bandage. Now I have a bump on my noggin. I was laughing too hard to curse this time. Given the law of averages I’d have to say I’m safe for the remainder of the day, perhaps even the rest of the week, but I’m not taking any chances. If you need me, I’ll be in bed.

Here’s one of the funniest klutzy scenes of all time. Enjoy!

Souvenirs from Universal Studios, Orlando

Studly Doright and I were in Orlando, Florida, on Monday and Tuesday this week, prior to flying to Shannon, Ireland, on Wednesday. He had meetings to attend, while I had some time on my hands. Monday I treated myself with a trip to one of the outlet malls, but on Tuesday I decided it was high time I visited The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. 

I walked all the way back to where the map indicated Harry Potter’s world would be. I saw the bus, and I  took a selfie in front of #12 Privet Drive, but I was confused. Where was Diagon Alley? I walked all the way around the area, but was stymied. Was this all there was? 

I’m such a Muggle, but on a hunch I walked through a nondescript opening in an unmarked brick wall, and voila! 

Diagon Alley! Honest, one can’t see this opening from the area where the triple decker knight bus and Privet Drive are, even though they’re just a few feet away. How wonderfully magical to be forced to stumble onto it! 

Butter beer is pretty damned tasty; although, there’s no actual beer in it. Drat. 

I ogled the newest Firebolt model:

By far the longest line in Diagon Alley was formed outside the wand store. I spoke with a little girl who was still giddy that the wand she purchased had chosen her. I was tempted to join the queue, but I’ll wait until I can bring my grandkids. And a wand in my hands might not be a good idea. I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good. 

So, what were my souvenirs? 

A pair of scraped palms, and a skinned knee.

I fell, having failed to realize that the curb was about five inches higher than my bifocal lenses led me to believe. Fortunately a couple of young men rushed to my aid, and helped me to my feet. The part that’s the most injured is my pride. It could’ve been much worse, so I’ll take my lumps as a renewed call for caution. 

Climbing El Capitan

I watched the news, the pictures of a man climbing El Capitan alone. A solo feat, no wires, no safety net, 

Only chalk and hands, feet and guts. I struggle climbing stairs. I’ve fallen on level surfaces, tripping on my

Own shoelaces, or worse yet, over nothing at all. I’ll drink a toast to the man and his mountain, and ask for help getting to bed.

It’s a really long walk, and the tiles are slippery.