Tag: bad poetry

Trivia Tonight

My favorite night of the month is here: Trivia night at David’s golf club! Our team has yet to win, but we have placed third on two occasions. 

I’ve always been fairly good at trivia. This rather ordinary looking brain holds quite a bit of completely useless information. But lately I’ve found that I’ve lost some of my sharpness. That, and there are so many current events in pop culture that I just don’t know. 

Even things I once knew I no longer know, such as the atomic numbers of common elements and the various offspring of Greek and Roman deities. I’m still the go to girl on all things Star Wars, though. Now if I could just bribe our emcee, Josh. I wonder if he’d like a nice personalized poem?

Josh
my gosh
your trivia
questions
are boss,
Josh.

I have a feeling that wont cut it. Wish us luck.

Cat Protective Services

Two cats
live in
our home,
Two cats
who never
venture
outside.
One is black,
the other
black and
snowy white.
However,
the stern cat who
meows
incessantly
from the
patio’s French
doors is a
watchful visitor.
She makes
certain that
the captive
cats (for
that is how
she views
them) are
well loved
and cared for.
She represents
Cat Protective
Services.

  

Cavity

i was chatting
with a friend
then glanced
down at my wrist
oh dear, i sighed,
look at the time
“i must go and have my
cavity filled.”
at her startled look
I wondered
what i’d just said,
then giggling,
my face turning red
added, “at the dental
office.”

Celebrated 

to mark my anniversary
one year with wordpress
i got up early, ate a
fruit bar; got dressed.
no big plans to mark
this milestone day
so i went for a drive;
yeah, i roll that way.
went window shopping
at a tallahassee mall
ate a taco salad, but
i didn’t eat it all.
still didn’t feel that
i’d celebrated right
so i drove to the spa
and told them my plight.
a massage they said
would be just the thing
to help me relax and
commemoration bring.
indeed i feel honored,
special, so cool
perhaps tomorrow I’ll
do it again; spas rule.

  
peace, people!

Playing Piano (and other things I can’t do)

I never learned to play piano

I never learned to ballroom dance

I cannot paint with watercolors

I cannot sew a pair of pants

But I can drink wine.

I’ve never climbed a mountain

I cannot water ski

Roller blades and ice skates

Were never meant for me.

But I can drink wine.

I could never do a handstand

A cartwheel or backbend

I never manage to sing on key

And flowers I cannot tend.

But I can drink wine.

There are many things

I cannot do, but I don’t really mind

As long as there are grapes out there

I’ll continue drinking wine.

Cheers.

  

Cooking for Studly May Update

A couple of folks have inquired as to whether I am still cooking meals for Studly Doright. Why, yes. Yes, I am.

Studly Doright remains among the living
Even after all of my cooking.

Some nights I create minor miracles
Other nights we survive on cereals.

Still, I miss the cool days of winter
When I could just serve soup for dinner.

Tonight I’m serving veggies and roast
They smell pretty great and that’s no boast.

Let’s raise a glass to good home cooking
But I dropped the roast when he wasn’t
looking.

shhhhhh!

  
Peace, people!

Anonymously Yours

In response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt:

Write an anonymous letter to someone you’re jealous of.

Dear Pampered House Cat,

I want the life you have:  
Sleeping all day, anyplace you’d like. Carousing all night, chasing imaginary mice.
Claiming a lap, making it your own.
Purring when petted, knowing you belong.

Yes, dear kitty, I’m jealous of you
Sincerely,
Anonymous (but you know who.)

 
Peace, people! 

Back in the Day

This post was inspired by my good friends Guy and Janice who have for years regaled their grand kids with hilarious tales of fantastic adventures of their early lives–none of them true.

“Back in the Day”

Back in the day
Before I was old
I used to go prospecting
For silver and gold.

Back in the day
When I still had my looks
I often went dancing
With gamblers and crooks.

I joined the circus
And flew the trapeze
Climbed tall buildings
With the greatest of ease.

Back in the day
When I was still fit
I ran a marathon
And never once quit.

I scaled the Matterhorn
And swam down the Nile
Jogged up the pyramids;
That took awhile.

On African safaris
I traveled each week
Even tamed an ostrich
With a 30 foot beak!

You see, back in the day
I could almost do it all
But then just maybe
This tale is too tall.

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My Apologies to Lennon and McCartney

Yesterday,
All my wrinkles seemed so far away.
Now it seems as though they’re here to stay,
Oh how I miss my yesterday.

Suddenly,
Gray hair grows where none used to be.
Aging just seems so unfair to me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly.

My youth had to go,
Yes I know
It couldn’t stay.

I turned 58
It’s too late
For yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday
Menopause was just a lark you say
These hot flashes keep me warm all day
Oh how I long for yesterday.

Note: I hope I didn’t plagiarize. The tune “Yesterday” kind of popped into my head yesterday afternoon, and the goofy lyrics followed. Surely no one else thinks up dumb things like this.

Peace, People!

I Don’t Sleep, Don’t Ask Me

Wide awake at midnight. Studly snores boisterously. My mind runs rampant through the possibilities. My prayers are said, my book’s been read. I’m tired, but sleep won’t come.

What have I forgotten to do? Who have I forgotten to call? Where am I supposed to be? What if I cannot do it all?

A new friend suggests that I’m an overachiever. Conscientious, to a fault. I’m more inclined to think that I suffer from a lack. Of something. Ability? Logic? Imagination? Drive? Sleep, certainly.

I probably should stop drinking Chardonnay in the evening. Get more exercise. Eat better. Switch to Merlot?

I probably should stop reading post-apocalyptic young adult novels that begin at the end of everything and then try to find a beginning. Maybe they make me too anxious.

I just want to sleep.

Peace, People.