Love-less Poem

April is National Poetry Writing Month, and today’s task called for me to write a love poem without using the word “love” or employing any of the phrases associated with love poems. 

His butt looks kind of perfect

Wrapped in that turquoise 

 Towel.

I mean it’s not a work of

Art or anything, but it’s the

Part of him I watch when

He leaves our bed to

Shower.

His eyes could be a deeper

Shade of green, 

I suppose,

Though I doubt they could

Twinkle any more than they

Already do.

He never brings me

Breakfast in bed, and

Seldom sends me

Flowers.

I should probably

Divorce him over those

Lapses, but he cries at

Sappy movies, and

Would probably 

Cry if I left.

I know I would if the

Situation were

Reversed. 

 

Easter

   I won’t pretend to be a religious scholar. Plenty of folks do that with mixed results and dubious credibility.

But I do know that love and forgiveness are at the heart of the teachings of Jesus, and that even in his torment on the cross He called for His Father to forgive those who were crucifying His son.

Wow. 

Peace, love, and forgiveness, People!

Final Four

All the hoop-la

All the noise

On an Indiana floor.

Sixty-four teams

Whittled down to four

Duke takes on Michigan State

Kentucky meets Wisconsin

Let’s see who wants it more.

   

     

As the saying goes, I really don’t have a dog in this fight, so may the weekend be filled with lots of great basketball and may the best team win.

Three Letter Word Challenge

Every story,

Every sunrise,

Every moment in time

Requires rules of some sort

Many constructed subtly,

While others seem to be

More well-defined.

This poem as example

Is written with no words 

Of just three letters as

Prescribed by Daily Prompt.

I nearly failed this 

No three rule, my hands

Trembled as I typed;

However, I saved myself

In a single move by 

Changing “the” to “a.”

Damn. Foiled again.

  

Peace, people!

Saturday Poem

Saturdays of my 

Youth were spent 

Vacuuming floors and

Dusting furniture:

Household chores my

Mom insisted be done

Before any of us could

Have weekend fun. 

Friends would call with

Invitations, but until

Our home shone

Like a pretty penny

There was no reprieve.

Hatred of housework

Is too mild a phrase to

Explain my feelings then,

And even now I detest those

Chores that kept us all

Shut in.

Romantic daydreams

Helped such days go by;

Some days I was a servant girl

On others a glamorous spy.

I’d sing plaintive tunes and

Dance with my broom, 

Cinderella had nothing on me,

But no fairy godmother ever

Came to set this princess free.

 I am not a domestic goddess, despite my mom’s efforts to make me one. 

Peace, people!

Threesome

When one has too much time on one’s hands one might indulge in too much reality TV. Thus was the case as I was scrolling through the channels and came across a program called “True Life: I Want a Threesome.”

Sleazy stuff, but who am I to judge? I mean I’ve seen some pretty cool threesomes in my life:

  

Nothing beats a purrfect threesome!

  

Except maybe a colorful one.

  Doggone it! Another threesome!

 

And then there’s the threesome to end all threesomes.

Who needs reality TV? (All photos found on Pinterest.)

Peace, People!

High Brow

I’ve just come from having my eyebrows threaded, and now my eyebrows look like a couple of poorly plucked chickens. I had asked the eyebrow technician (for lack of a better term) to take off “just a little” which she took to mean, “remove most of this woman’s eyebrows and just leave a few paltry hairs behind.”

 No these are not my brows, but the “before” photo comes close!

I really should know better. 99.8% of the time beautification procedures go off without a hitch. But when I have a big trip or event looming all bets are off. 

Once before a big date weekend in Indianapolis the brow tech burned my brows with hot wax. For weeks I peeled skin off of my forehead.

Just prior to a formal dress Christmas party with Studly’s co-workers I was having my brows waxed at the salon I’d always depended on when I heard the brow tech say, “oops!” Trust me, that’s not a good omen. The good news was she didn’t charge me. The bad news was one brow had been decimated. I wore a cleavage baring dress that night and hardly anyone looked aghast at my eyebrow.

You’d think I’d be the master of the eyebrow pencil by now, but sadly I’m pretty clumsy. I did sit at a makeup counter this afternoon while a beautifully made up college girl penciled in some killer brows for me. I even bought the pencil and a tiny brush. I asked her, in my saddest voice if she thought my brows might grow back by Wednesday when I leave for Guatemala. In response she patted my shoulder and said, “There, there. They aren’t THAT bad.”

In my next life, I plan on being a spoiled house cat. They’re always immaculately groomed and have perfect eyebrows.

Peace, people.

Inoculated for Guatemala

I leave to attend my niece’s wedding in Antigua, Guatemala in one week. Squeal!!! But wait a minute. According to the Centers for Disease Control, travelers to Guatemala should have the following inoculations: 

“Make sure you are up-to-date on routine vaccines before every trip. These vaccines include measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine, diphtheria-tetanus-pertussis vaccine, varicella (chickenpox) vaccine, polio vaccine, and your yearly flu shot.”

I’m okay on those above, but just this week I thought to check on other suggested immunizations: 
Hepatitis A
“CDC recommends this vaccine because you can get hepatitis A through contaminated food or water in Guatemala, regardless of where you are eating or staying.”
And:
Typhoid

“You can get typhoid through contaminated food or water in Guatemala. CDC recommends this vaccine for most travelers, especially if you are staying with friends or relatives, visiting smaller cities or rural areas, or if you are an adventurous eater.”

Now, I’ve been running around shopping almost non-stop for my trip, but did I think about needing inoculations? Nope.

On Monday I told my doctor, whose name I am unable to pronounce, so I’ve dubbed him Doctor When, that I was leaving for Guatemala on April 8th, and needed to be inoculated against Typhoid and Hepatitis A. In response, Dr. When laughed. 

“Your inoculations would be of no use taken this close to your trip,” Dr. When  said. 

“You’re probably going to die,” he added before climbing into his Tardis and departing for another point in time.

Ok, I made that last part up, but that was what I took away from the exchange.

He did prescribe an antibiotic just in case I ran into anything nasty, but I believe I’ll do as my brother instructed and self-inoculate with plenty of cerveza and vino. No waiting period necessary.

 

No street food for me. 😢

  

But fresh produce should be ok! 😃

  

And maybe I’ll skip eating and just shop!

Peace, people!


Tijuana Flats

Studly Doright finally had the opportunity to eat at Tijuana Flats, hands down the best fast food Mexican place in Tallahassee. 

I’ve been after him for months to try them out. Of course he loved it and asked innocently, “Why haven’t we eaten here before?” Slap!

 

 Peace (and hot sauce) People!