Coulda Been

Studly and I were chilling out at Doright Manor on Saturday evening, binge watching the comedy series Last Man Standing, and the same commercial played at every break. 

In this commercial an actress delivered the line, “My name is Cookie ask about me.” No pause, no comma. I took exception to her delivery.

After the fourth time I said, “It sounds like she’s saying her name is Cookie Askaboutme. The line should be, ‘My name is Cookie. Ask about me'” And I said it in a drop dead perfectly sexy voice.

“Isn’t my delivery better?” I asked Studly. Wise man that he is, Studly nodded his head in agreement.

“I coulda been an actress,” I said. “All I needed were good looks and talent.”

Building on that theme I continued, “I coulda been a boxer if I’d had muscles and strength!”

“I coulda been a singer if I’d had a good voice and rhythm.”

“I coulda been a model if I didn’t weigh so damned much.”

Studly just kept nodding his head sagely at each declaration. Finally I prompted him to contribute.

“I coulda been a loser,” he said, “if I weren’t so damned talented.” 

What a negative Nellie. I coulda been a rich woman, if I’d married someone with a positive outlook….

Peace, people!

Full Moon Haiku

full moon, golden orb.
black night’s answer to sun’s light.
sisters of heaven.  

fleeting lunar sign
waning body fades to dark,
empty, moon called new.

 

oh man in the moon,
walk us, watch us, guide us home.
gently hold our hands.

  

written in response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt–Full Moon.

Cats in My Life

in response to The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Menagerie: Do you have animals in your life? If yes, what do they mean to you?

two cats have i:
scout,
my eldest girl
loves with her whole
heart.
i am her favorite, or
so i like to
think.
she chooses to sleep on
my side of the
bed much of the time.
given two laps,
side by side, most often
mine
is the one on which she
snuggles.
but scout keeps
space in her
heart
for strangers and
permits others to
pet and snuggle her
close.

patches,
my younger kitty
seldom allows
affection.
only with
trepidation
does she seek
human contact
so completely
aloof
is she.
but when she
craves affection
i am the
center of her
universe.
her cold nose
bumps against my
arm, code for
pet me, please!
and i am
moved
for she engages
no one else, save
me.

if my life were to
end tomorrow
loving scout
would soon
adapt to my
absence.
but patches, sweet
lonely kitty
would grieve
the loss of
her best
friend.

if i were to
lose either
cat
i would be
inconsolable.

 

scout, miss social register
  
patches, miss aloof