A trio of haiku written in response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt.
I. Tick tock wind the clock
Carefully controlled tension
I snap when overwound.
Art by Norman Duenas found on Pinterest
II. Time out, hurry up
Life goes on without me now
Wrinkles slow me down.
III. “A Time for Us” sung
Plaintively, no dry eyes here
Save mine; mine were clear.
Peace, People
I thought for awhile
That Mr. Nimoy was
Truly from another
Planet.
His portrayal of Mr. Spock
Was the quintessential
Vulcan.
A tongue in cheek
Article read when
I was too young to
Understand such
Humor seemed to
Confirm that the
Ears were real,
That Nimoy was
Alien.
I wondered why
This wasn’t bigger
News.
Goodbye Mr. Nimoy.
Thank you for
Making me a
Believer.
“A Lover’s Quarrel”–Lindsey Kustusch
Fight or Flight
Lovers’ quarrel
Hands tense
Lips quiver
Chests tighten
Words scathe.
Her tears fall
Furiously,
Unabated.
How could you?
Why did you?
Why won’t you?
He leaves,
For now.
Escape his only
Answer.
For now.
I always mess up “air kisses.” Read on:
He gave her a kiss,
A gentle touch of
Lips against cheek.
Very cosmopolitan.
Her attempt to
Reciprocate ended
In a sloppy smooch
Gone terribly wrong.
Her bright pink
Revlon left a smear
Starting near his nose
And ending at his ear.
Oh dear.
Peace, People!
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, then
why do I prefer the presence of a cat?
Maybe because diamonds do not purr when scratched behind their ears. They don’t stretch when waking from a long nap in a sun-filled corner.
Diamonds do not pounce on one’s chest first thing on a Sunday morning, nor do they paw gently at one’s nose as a way of saying, “get up lazy human and feed me!”
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, then why haven’t they learned to keep me warm by crawling into my lap and slowly circling one, two, three times before settling into a cozy ball of fluff?
Diamonds cannot possibly be a girl’s best friend since they have yet to learn how best to chase a stuffed mouse or to bat around a ball of yarn.
Diamonds are amazingly incompetent at leaping on top of the refrigerator or at meowing for treats. Diamonds are totally unable to arch their backs or to leave cat hair on a favorite pair of black pants.
Diamonds have their place, I suppose, but I’d much rather have a cat.
Oddly enough this poem came to me while I was watching Ender’s Game on HBO this afternoon. In solidarity with my Texas relatives I’ve taken a snow day, plus I still have a nasty head cold, so watching HBO is probably therapeutic.
Back to Ender’s Game–I was struck by how purposeful his education was and for the thousandth time reflected on how without purpose mine was. Yes, I was taught to read, write, and perform mathematics, but to what end? Upon graduation from high school I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do or become.
When I went to college the first time, I was still purposeless. It seemed silly for me to continue spending my parents’ money on a big “if”.
Even when I returned to school I had no real desire to become a teacher; it just made sense for our family. I wonder, how do others deal with this lack of desire to be something specific. I know I had aspirations at one time, but I cannot remember them at all.
American Dream
She was smart,
But she held no purpose.
Talented,
Yet no audience.
What benefit then
Of all this hard work
These accolades?
That stellar GPA means
Less than nothing now;
Numbers on a printout.
All for a scroll with
Her name in tight
Script.
He was smart
But not filled with grand
Ideas.
Tailored for
Leadership through
Genetics perhaps, and
Hard work.
No four year degree or
Empty promises.
Trials along his path
Strengthened his
Resolve, brought him
Success.
American Dreamers
Different paths
Taken together.
Not the entire story,
Neither is it at an end.
Daily one or both
Smile, slightly
Dazed by their
Journey.
Remember? he’ll ask
She always does.
What next? She’ll wonder.
Who knows? Says he.
Peace, People!
If I ever want a good laugh I need go no further than Craigslist, that online domain where goods are bought, sold, and traded, where jobs are found and relationships launched.
I’ve never actually purchased anything advertised on Craigslist, nor have I discovered a job worthy of my considerable talents, but there is something slightly mesmerizing about Craigslist. I’m especially fond of the personal ads and rants and raves.
In the relatively small market of Tallahassee I discovered a potential 50 Shades of Grey scenario in the making:
Tallahassee Italian late 50’s (looks and acts younger) seeks attractive open minded younger female for a 50 shades relationship. Please send description or pic in first reply. No experience necessary if interested in learning the lifestyle. Be open to :
-being shown off
-shared
-light bondage
-spanking
-costumes
-role playing
-being trained
-obediant
-more
I am a classy, patient, understanding teacher. If you have experince let me know.
He says he’s classy, so he must be, right? He does have some serious spelling deficiencies, though.
And how about this rant I politely edited about an older female driver from a self-avowed nice young man?
You are a menace. You are not in a position to lecture anyone on driving or etiquette. I apologize for ending our conversation with an abrupt “F____ You” and I admit it was not my finest moment. However, I was a bit flustered after you almost caused an accident and then ambushed me in the parking lot. When I calmly explained to you that I had the right of way, you agreed. Then you claimed that the rules did not apply to you and proceeded to denigrate me, my manners, and my upbringing. My manners are fine, because I was not raised by people like you.
If I see you pull a stunt like that again, I will do the polite thing and call the cops.
Sincerely,
Nice Young Man
I couldn’t make this stuff up, folks!
So if you’re in need of a giggle, check out Craigslist. Oh, and read my poem:
Craigslist
Whatever I need
Day or night
A quick search of
Craigslist can make
It all right.
Need a car?
A job or a house
To rent?
Golf clubs or maybe
A small pup tent?
Personal ads
In search of romance?
Casual encounters
Might turn raves
Into rants.
Just need to discuss
A topic online?
The forums can
Guide you,
If you just have the time.
Oh Craigslist however
Did we survive
Before you brought
This variety
Into our lives?
Peace and happy reading, People!
Under the hood
Find a frightened white
Man.
Afraid of change
Afraid of diversity
Afraid of losing his every
Privilege.
Inside the ‘hood
Find a frightened brown
Man.
Afraid of hate
Afraid of censure
Afraid of losing his very
Life.
Would they know each other’s
Fear
If they met outside the
Hood?
Above: A team of African American doctors scramble to save the life of a Ku Klux Klan member. Photo from YouTube.
Mercury did not suspect,
Yet Venus knew the score,
Earth was plotting to implode
Mars tried to close the door.
Jupiter was in on it,
He hoped that Earth would blow,
But Saturn was in denial,
And Neptune was too slow
The plot of Earth, it’s sad to note,
Went off without a hitch,
And those of us who ignored her plight
Are not allowed to bitch.
There once was a man from Nantucket….
Whoa! That’s not where I’m going with my limericks.
Apparently limericks come in three types: ones you can tell in the presence of ladies (what a sexist thought), ones that can be told in the presence of clergy, and true limericks. Mine are just a mixture.
Studly and I moved out east
To avoid that old snowy beast
In Florida we’ve begun
To worship the sun
Or to revel in warmth at the least.
A bather in beauty to see
In a suit cut way up the knee
Once arrived on the beach
As pert as a peach
Amazingly she was a he.
Believe it or not, the beautiful person pictured above is transgender. Cool, eh? I should look so good!
Jose Cuervo and I went a’dancing
He wasn’t much for romancing
After two or three shots
I puked up my guts
And Jose went on with his prancing.
There once was a lady so daring
Her bodice was cut low for baring
The men all around
Made hardly a sound
So caught up were they in their staring.
Praying for Eyebrowz 