Mall Thinking

People watching at the
Mall:

Elderly woman cajoles
Her husband.
Then commands.
She worries he’s done
Too much today.
Their hands touch
Briefly. He hates
Feeling old as she
Fetches Starbucks.

Thirty-somethings,
Husband and wife
Carry plump
Pillows between them.
She looks at him
With love and
Something akin to
Annoyance.
He is oblivious.

Young adults sit giggling
Heads together
Job applications stacked
Neatly between them.
Pens scratch earnestly
Between witty asides.
Don’t make me laugh!
You made me forget
My address!

Mother and pink clad
Toddler enjoy
Conversation in a
Language I cannot
Understand. Their
Eyes smile. Little
Girl dances impatiently
Eager to join others
At play.

I wonder is anyone
Watching me?

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When the Waitress Gets it Wrong

Today I clearly heard
Myself order a
Grilled shrimp salad
Dressing on the side,
Unsweetened iced tea
With lemon.

Imagine my surprise
When tea arrived
Sweet as a toddler’s kiss.
After a sip I sent it back
Receiving a chastened
Tea in return.

My salad arrived, a
Wide expanse of
Iceberg lettuce ringed with
Red onions and simulated
Cheeses, white and yellow,
And fried chicken.

Excuse me, miss,
I ordered grilled shrimp.
No, she said, eyes rolling
I wrote down fried chicken
See. Indeed she had,
But I’m inclined to believe me.

While taking my order
She’d outrageously
Flirted with two men
Seated at the next table,
Hoping I suppose for
Big tips.

I ate the salad anyway,
And didn’t make a fuss,
But when she came to refill
My tea, I said, with a twinkle,
Remember, dear, I asked for
Unsweet.

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Smack Dab in the Middle

First place rules
Last place sucks
Somewhere in the
Middle is the norm.
I’ve certainly found
Myself there
More than once.
I can count on one hand
The times the blue ribbon
Has been placed in my care.
Yet seldom have I come in at
The pack’s end. The
Absolute centerpoint has
Entertained me more than a
Few times over these
Many years.
How should I feel then?
Content? Restless?
Unfulfilled?
Human.

And then there is Steelers Wheel’s take on this:

Stuck in the Middle With You

Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you’re proud that you’re a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please…. Please…..

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you’re proud that you’re a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please…. Please…..

Well I don’t know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain’t right,
I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you,
Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
Stuck in the middle with you.

I never realIzed they were Scottish!

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Losing Weight

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Weigh in scheduled for
11:30 a.m.
Jenny Craig awaits.
Still in bed at 9:05 trying to
Decide if I will weigh less
By doing nothing productive
Before my appointment, or
If I should arise and run
Frantically around exercising
Enough to make up for the
Non-exercise I did all week.
Questions arise:
Which non-activity
Burns more calories?
Not riding a stationary bike or
Not walking for two miles?
Opting for option #2 I slip back
Beneath the covers and
Dream of key lime pound cake.

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Peace, People!

IMPORTANT!

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Judging from the mail we receive everything is either URGENT, IMPORTANT, or requires our IMMEDIATE ATTENTION! If it weren’t for important mail, we’d get no mail at all.

Final offer!
Don’t delay!
Send money now,
You need to pay.

Important info.,
Warranty expired
Sensitive materials
Attention required.

Immediate action
Subscription ends
Please respond and
Tell your friends!

Presence requested
Don’t hesitate
Your lucky number
Past due date.

Our last notice
Final contest
It’s no wonder
We’re all stressed!

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Wildest Dreams

I wrote this in response to a prompt from a Facebook friend. It occurred to me that the wildest dreams from my younger days–marrying a Beatle, performing at Carnegie Hall doing God knows what, traveling to exotic places–no longer were on my dream radar.

Wildest Dreams

Sailing ‘cross oceans
Weathering storms
Standing ovations
Those were the norms
Dreams I once had
Some fulfilled
Some forgotten
Far better for certain
Than some that were not.

Wildest dreams of my
Younger self somehow
Don’t jibe
With the dreams I have now
To more than survive
To thrive and discover the
Person within under the
Protective covers of those
Who love me.

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Rudderless Horse

Playing with words:

A rudderless horse
A riderless ship
A butterbug and a ladyfly
Two conepines and a pinlinch
A bump that goes “thing” in the night
Beaver eagers and fly soxes.
As for Jomeo and Ruliette
A nose by any other name would still smell.

Continue reading “Rudderless Horse”

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