Category: Commentary

Does a Bear Sh*t in the Lincoln?

The answer to that question is, “Thankfully not this time.” One did, however, carefully explore the interior and exterior of my car, completely decimate a container of peanut brittle, leave a trail of leaves and other detritus in the front seat, and paw prints on the hood, before going on its merry way.

Paw print in the frost.
Someone’s been sitting in MY chair….

I’d love to say that Studly Doright was to blame for leaving our car unlocked next to the cabin we’ve rented in the Smoky Mountains near Gatlinburg, TN, but it’s all my fault. I must’ve forgotten to lock the vehicle when I went out to fetch my bottle of wine.

The preliminary damage report doesn’t appear to be too awful. The seats aren’t ripped, neither is the headliner. He or she didn’t mess with my favorite throw blanket in the backseat. There are claw marks on the exterior of my once pristine Lincoln. The one we save for long trips. The one that is two years old and just barely has 10,000 miles on it. Sigh. But, as far as bear intrusions go, this one could have been a great deal worse.

I just hope our little friend doesn’t expect me to entertain him again tonight. I’m not Goldilocks, after all.

Peace, people!

Life With Gracie

Gracie, our newish rescue kitty is a joy. She loves me like I’m the greatest thing since filleted tuna, following my every move, and plunking down beside me in dramatic fashion when I have the audacity to sit.

Gracie watching me apply makeup.

She has a tendency to be loquacious and we exchange banter back and forth throughout the day. I’m fairly certain her vocabulary is larger than mine. In addition to her sweet “mew-mews,” Gracie grunts. These vocalizations sound like a combination of a dog’s bark and a pig’s oink, but they only occur when she’s jumping off of or onto some piece of furniture, as if she’s giving each leap her all.

Gracie is ultra jealous of our electronic devices and always finds a way to insert herself between the device and her human. If I want to write a blog post I essentially have to hide for a bit; although, this cartoonist might be on to something:

She is precious, though. As she’s settled in to our household she’s become much more relaxed. She even took a break from being my constant companion yesterday to hang out with a couple of snow people, allowing me to write this.

Innocent? Nah.

Please don’t be fooled by her sweet face. The crazy Gracie is still there. She’s just learning to hide it better. Like the Hulk, only cuter.

Peace, people!

A Toast

I’m drinking a toast to everyone who has supported me by purchasing my book. You all are THE BEST! If you haven’t yet bought Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, I can make this toast retroactive. It’s a skill that very few people have.

Please note that my smile, while awkward, is genuine. My fake smile is much worse.

Peace, people.

A Hot Mess

The trash collection guys come on Monday mornings—usually quite early in the day. So here at Doright Manor we usually remember to move our trash receptacle to the curb on Sunday afternoon, but not always.

When I woke up yesterday morning at 7 a.m. my first thought was, “Oh crap! Is that the trash truck I hear?!”

I scooted the cat off of my chest where she’d snuggled down, blissfully unaware of such things as full trash receptacles. Her glare was equal parts disappointment and disdain. How dare you disturb me?!

Hurriedly I donned a pair of sweat pants and a non-matching sweatshirt, pulled on some socks and shoes and scurried outside into the 40° weather to try and outrun the trash collectors. I grabbed the dew-covered handle of the receptacle and winced. It was cold and wet. Ugh.

I was not to be deterred, though! I gritted my teeth and pushed the container to the curb, hoping I wasn’t too late. When I looked around at other homes I was surprised to see that no one else had their cans out for pickup. Puzzling. That was until I remembered that it was Wednesday morning, not Monday, and that I was either two days too late or six days too early.

So there I stood, on the curb, shivering in a pair of Studly’s hole-y sweatpants, which are considerably larger than any of mine, a Walking Dead sweatshirt, mismatched shoes and wet hands, wondering if I truly had finally lost my mind.

The jury is still out.

In Studly’s Hands

I finally got to hold a copy of the paperback version of my novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort. Sadly, it’s not mine to keep. I’ll forward it on to my friend and editor, Rachel Carrera first thing tomorrow.

Studly Doright wanted to hold it. “It’s huge!” were his exact words. I was pushing for “clever, poignant, skillfully done,” but I’ll settle for “huge!”

Peace, people!

Harrowing

For future reference, I should NEVER be allowed to drive at night again. Why, you might ask? Because last evening, just after sunset, I set off to pick up a few necessities at the Publix grocery store nearest Doright Manor, and subsequently became totally lost on my way home.

Somehow, as dusk turned to full dark. I missed the turn onto the road that parallels our housing development and drove at least ten additional miles before I could find a safe place to turn around. I was a quivering mess by the time I pulled into our driveway at Doright Manor, having dodged obstacles both real and imagined. Those imagined ones are the absolute worst.

I told Studly Doright, after I finally convinced my legs to carry me into the house following my harrowing experience, that I am giving up driving at night. He asked, “Does that include trips on your broom?”

If I could’ve found eye of newt and tongue of toad at the grocery store, he’d be in big trouble.

Peace, people!

Another Lovely Review

Just when I was feeling a little blue, the lovely Lesley Kluchin (LesleyKluchin.Wordpress.com) gave my book, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, a wonderful review on Amazon:

(Blushing!)

Thank you, Lesley, for making my day!

Peace, and happy reading, people!

A Watched Pot

Simmers, plays mind games

With clock’s tick tock suspended

Patience brings rewards

I’m not going to lie—I’ve become addicted to checking the Kindle Direct Publishing website once an hour to see if any additional copies of my novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, have sold. It’s like watching grass grow with occasional bursts of fecundity followed by long stretches of barrenness. Tons of fun.

Tomorrow I’m going to wrap Christmas presents, and ignore the KDP website. Yes I will. Maybe.

Peace, people.

Neglect

I’m guilty of neglecting my responsibilities in regard to being a good follower of blogs. There’s a certain compact we form with those we follow and those who follow us to keep up to date, to comment, and support. I’ve been so wrapped up in me, me, me, that I’ve not lived up to my end of the bargain.

Last night I tried to play catch up, but I’m a week or two late in my comments. Their worlds have moved on, and I’m late to the party. I hope I can be forgiven. Bless me bloggers, for I have been really distracted.

Peace, people!

First Review of Mayhem!

My first book has its first review on Amazon!

Thanks to Deb, at “I am, therefore I write,” for submitting a review of Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort!

Check this out:

I have to admit I cried a couple of happy tears over this. Thank you, Deb!

You can find Deb’s blog at dstecca.wordpress.com. She’s so worth a follow!

Peace, people!