Timberrrrr! Again

I fell this morning.
On my way to fetch
Clean water for the cats
I spilt a few drops, slipped,
Went splat!

The slow-mo footage did not
Play this time.
The fall was fast and furious
Like a Hollywood film,
Only less sexy.

Water puddled ’round me
Subjugating me to its wishes.
Literally, I had fallen and
Could not get up.
Somewhat feebly I called “help!”

The cats scattered, ostensibly
For first aid.
I sat cataloging my injuries
Thanking God that I
Still bounce a bit.

I scooted on my derrière
Until I reached the rug.
Managed to grasp the
Counter and pull myself
Up. Slowly.

Surrounded by water
No towels in reach
I moved inch by inch
Using the rug as my
Conveyance.

Now my elbow hurts
Like a son of a gun
From clipping the counter
On my way down
Down, down.

Somehow I managed to
Ping pong between the
Kitchen island and the
Cabinets, bruising both
Hips symmetrically.

My lower back, my
Ass and shoulders
Protest the insults
Heaped upon them
Once again.

And Studly, when he returned
Could not resist
Lecturing me on my
Lack of awareness.
Asshat.

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Leaping Lizards

I am not squeamish. Heck, anyone who has taught elementary schoolchildren knows that one either loses fear of all creepy crawly critters or one does a good job of faking bravery. Otherwise one’s desk will have lots of unwelcome visitors during the school year. I became quite adept at feigning affection for a variety of animals: “Oh, what a precious little tarantula! May I hold him?” “You have a pet boa constructor? Those are my favorite!”

Honestly I don’t mind most critters as long as I’m not caught unaware. It’s the ‘holy crap’ moments that get me. Yesterday, I had one of those ‘holy crap’ moments. The day had been about as wonderfully boring as a day can be. I’d spent the morning putting away Christmas decorations and attempting to locate all of my regular decor. I swear, one of these days I’m going to figure out a way of tagging decorative items so I can remember where things go.

I mailed a package to our oldest granddaughter in Texas, and then stopped by the big truck stop to get a soda. When I returned home I parked the car and then walked up the driveway to get our mail. Upon opening the mailbox not one, but two lizards ran out to greet me. Holy crap! I screamed, dropped the mail onto which one of the lizards was clinging and did the “ooh ooh ooh” dance–shaking my hands and stomping my feet just in case….well, just in case. Poor lizards–I think they had a holy crap moment, as well.

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Job Hunting

Let me preface this piece by saying I really like what I’m doing–working with second graders is so much fun. Now, that’s out of the way: I NEED to find a different job.

When I went to work for my current employer it was with the understanding that it would be a part time position, and technically, it is. I actually work only three hours each day; however, those three hours are 8:30-9:30, 12:30-1:30, and 3:00-4:00. Do you see the problem? My part time job takes up my entire day!

I’m ready to find another part time position even though looking for a job is one of the most stressful things I can imagine. Dusting off the old resume, remembering names of folks who are willing to vouch for me, actually making eye contact with new people. Aargh!

I’m open to suggestions. Studly says I should do something fun, but when I hinted that I’d like to volunteer at the animal shelter he gave me a really stern look and told me, “no more pets!”

Craig’s List had a few interesting listings, but I don’t think I’m qualified to be a surgeon or a used car salesman. Or an exotic dancer.

Anyone out there looking to hire a slightly demented former teacher with decent typing skills? Serious inquiries only. 😉

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Thanks Ms. Taylor! That’s good advice

Peace, People!

Beautiful Dream(er)

I awakened this morning from such a beautiful dream. It was one of those lovely, happy, super realistic visions that crosses the dream boundary. In it my mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table discussing our plans for the day. I told her I thought I’d go shopping and asked if she wanted to tag along.

“Just let me get dressed!” she said.

Then I woke up, looking forward to a day of shopping with Mom. 😢 I went shopping anyway and pretended she was right there helping me make decisions.

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January: Note to Self

Don’t give me excuses
For losing resolutions
Wimpy, downtrodden
Promises to self.

Instead, hold my fingers
To the flame
Keep me accountable
For once.

Steady, steady girl
You can do this
Take one last long
Look at yesterday.

Gone like every other
Past minute, past hour
Filled with chances
Some gained, some lost.

What now? Only some
Promises are worthy
Of keeping for
Any length of time:

Love more, worry less
Share everything
Care for everyone.
Nothing else even matters.

Peace, People.

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Cape St. George and Apalachicola

Studly and I live near Tallahassee, Florida, in the state’s panhandle. We both love this part of Florida, but it is not what most folks have in mind when they think of the Sunshine State. For one thing, there are very few palm trees in our area. Instead, we have massive moss-covered oaks and towering pine trees. In addition, our terrain is hilly, quite unlike the famously flat peninsula.

I do wish we lived nearer to the Gulf or the Atlantic. In a perfect world, I’d live a maximum of 10 minutes from a white sand beach, as it is, I’m about 75 miles from the Gulf, but the first really good beach is about 90 miles away. Yesterday was January 1, 2015, and I resolved to be at the beach on that day. Since I’m a grown woman with a driver’s license I waited for Studly to depart for the golf course and pointed my car south to the Gulf of Mexico.

On previous trips I had always immediately gone straight to St. George island, turning left just past Bayside Burgers in Eastpoint, but today I drove on to Apalachicola for brunch. The restaurant I’d planned on visiting was closed (New Year’s Day, duh!), so I asked a local couple for a recommendation and they pointed me to Caroline’s River Dining.

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I had a yummy crab quiche for brunch while seated at a table with a fine view of the Apalachicola River. Afterwards, I strolled around the historic downtown, mainly taking photos of signs for some reason.

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Only a few businesses were open, so this is definitely a place I’ll need to revisit in the future.

On my way home I couldn’t pass up going out to St. George Island to start off the new year with my toes in the sand.

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Maybe this will provide my beach fix for a little while. Or maybe, I’ll convince Studly to move to the Gulf of Mexico. I can see me as a professional beach bum.

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Cat Toys

Perfect cat toys seldom
Cost much.
An empty box seduces the
Most jaded feline.
Flippity, floppity shoe laces
Attract a kitten’s curious pounces.
My cats’ schtick is indeed
A stick.
At one time featuring a
Bunch of brightly colored
Feathers and a squeaky
Stuffed mouse dangling
From one end.
Lately, the mouse has gone
Missing and the feathers have
Molted.
But the cats simply
Do Not Care.

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Only 93 Views Short of My Best Month

Why do the stats on my WordPress page fascinate me so? I’m not a competitive person, but as my day and month draws near to a close I find myself 93 guess short of making this my best month ever. IMG_1971.JPG

That’s me. It feels impossible, but I can at least try! C’mon people. View me!!!

New Year’s Eve for Old Folks

At my chiropractor’s office this morning the young assistant excitedly asked, “So what are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”

“Oh nothing,” I said. “My husband and I will probably stay in, watch a movie, maybe drink a toast at midnight, if we even make it up that long.”

“How awful!” she said. “That sounds so sad.”

“Actually,” I told her, “A quiet evening sounds like tons of fun to me.”

She gave me a pat on my hand as if to say, “you poor old lady.”

Not too many years ago I’d have had the same reaction. After all, isn’t New Year’s Eve tailor-made for partying? When did that change?

Was it during the years when our children were young and we knew that the sleep we missed on New Year’s Eve would not easily be recouped?

Did it change those years when Studly was working shift work, and we spent the big night in separate locations?

Or did it happen when we realized how bad we felt after a big night of partying, and how long that feeling lingered?

Chances are it was an accumulation of causes. At any rate, one would have to drag me out of my home screaming and kicking on New Year’s Eve.

Unless there’s dancing. I’m always up for dancing!

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