Studly Doright has permanent dibs on the tv remote. Usually, I’m okay with that, but when his search for programming stops on the series, Ancient Aliens, I go into full blown sarcasm mode.
Giorgio Tsoukalos, ancient alien conspiracy theorist
If you haven’t had the pleasure (gag) of watching the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens you have no idea what you’ve been missing. Along with venereal disease and a bad case of poison sumac.
The premise of each episode is the same–to prove retroactively that groups of extraterrestrials were responsible for helping get the human race off the ground. The pyramids? Check. Stonehenge? Check. Mayan temples? Check. Epcot Center? Check.
If ancient edifices weren’t built by aliens as astronavigational facilities, they were erected as gigantic abodes primarily used for conjugal visits for whenever E.T. came to gift humanity with his otherworldly seed.
Yes, according to Ancient Aliens, we are most likely all descended from little green men. That explains a lot: Donald Trump, David Spade, Abe Vigoda.
On some episodes aliens are credited with being the gods of ancient mythology, and we know what a horny bunch they were.
Zeus (in bull form) seduces Europa. Zeus in swan form seduces Leda.Zeus in Nicholas Cage form seduces Farrah Fawcett.
I’m beginning to understand Studly Doright’s fascination with Ancient Aliens. It’s basically soft core space porn.
in florida, weeds
exceed all expectations
pulling them becomes
counter productive
for every one i extract
two more seem to emerge
a green hydra battling
for survival when all
i want is a bouquet.
oh hercules where are
you these days?
I’m not sure where this one came from. For some reason I had a vision of Adam and Eve discussing their peculiar predicament, but it made me think about all relationships. A successful one incorporates a lot of giving and taking. Of course, one should be careful when taking what has been forbidden, eh?
The Serpent Between Us
Oh, Eve,
Said Adam,
Laying a firm hand
On her shoulder,
What have you
Done now, my love?
Adam,
She replied,
I fell into
A lust for
Knowing and
Shadowy desire
When offered
Much more
Than a
Plump
Red
Apple
By the
Serpent sliding
Soullessly into the
Arbor.
Eve,
What will become of us?
Asked Adam,
Looking longingly at
The proffered fruit
Perched in his
Lover’s small hand.
I suppose
Said Eve,
After Adam took
His deep bite,
We will
Look for fruit
Together,
Out there
Past the boundaries
Of our
Paradise.
Praying for Eyebrowz 