Tag: Martha Stewart

College Football Bowl Games That Should Exist, but Don’t

At this time of year our great country is immersed in college bowl season. I’m a football fan, so bowl games are an essential piece of my holiday puzzle. 

As I typed this I was watching Notre Dame and Ohio State slug it out in the Battlefrog Fiesta Bowl and asking myself a few questions. First, when did Tostitos brand tortilla chips stop sponsoring this bowl game? Tostitos and Fiesta Bowl went together like, well, chips and salsa. Second, who or what on earth is Battlefrog*?

I remember when college bowl games didn’t need corporate sponsors. We simply had the Rose Bowl, Orange Bowl, Sugar Bowl, and Cotton Bowl. That remained the status quo through most of my childhood, but then the number of bowl games proliferated: Tangerine Bowl, Independence Bowl, Sun Bowl, Citrus Bowl, Peach Bowl, and on and on, ad nauseum.

  
Corporations smelling big money began gobbling up sponsorships right and left. Some, like GoDaddy and Belk, even invented their own bowl games. If the sponsorships remained static from year to year they’d be easier to keep track of, but as in the aforementioned Battlefrog Fiesta Bowl, nee Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the names often change.
  

This year we can watch the Goodyear Cotton Bowl, the Capital One Orange Bowl, and the Allstate Sugar Bowl. Only the Rose Bowl, tastefully presented by Northwestern Mutual, has remained above the fray. I was rooting for the Iowa Hawkeyes in that offering. It didn’t go well. 
I do have one suggestion for future bowl game sponsorship: The corporation’s name/product should fit the bowl game being sponsored. Therefore, I present the following combinations for your consideration:Liquid Plumr Toilet Bowl

Kellogs Cereal Bowl

Martha Stewart’s Decorative Bowl
Chiquita Banana Fruit Bowl
Hawaiian Punch Bowl

Pineapple Express Bong Bowl

Orville Redenbacher’s Popcorn Bowl

Krispy Kreme Dessert Bowl
Peace, people!

*Battlefrog is a televised college competition series, according to Google.

Presenting the Finished Tree

   
It’s not going to make it into the pages of Better Homes and Gardens or Southern Living. Martha Stewart isn’t going to copy my decorating technique, but it’s done. Or perhaps overdone. 

A couple of times I tried to stop hanging ornaments, but it was as if some one or some thing made me keep going until the tree itself was barely visible underneath the eclectic mix of Christmas tchotchkies. Must be the true spirit of Christmas at work right here in Doright Manor.

In the process of decorating the evergreen I managed to break not one, not two, but three ornaments: Dancer of eight tiny reindeer fame, Mickey Mouse dressed as Scrooge, and a random snowman. Now I’m down to just six reindeer, having never acquired Vixen. 

Maybe if I have another glass of wine this evening the tree will begin to look less cluttered and more classy. What goes best with kitsch? Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot?

Peace, people!