Tag: humor

By the Numbers

Note: No joking in this note, the number 651008 represents the number of brave U.S. men and women killed in combat. God, I’m sick of wars started by old men and fought by young people. I didn’t know the meaning of the number until after the post was written. A sobering thought. Carry on. 

A friend from childhood posted a number on Facebook several days ago and asked what we thought it represented: 

651008

My first guess was the mileage on a vintage truck. No, it wasn’t that. My next guess was that it is the number assigned to an automotive part. So far, my friend hasn’t provided the answer. I’m waiting impatiently for a response.

In the meantime I’ve been contemplating numbers. Did you know you can google your exact age and a calculator will determine the number of days and months you’ve been on this earth?

On Wednesday, August 31, I was this old:


I feel like I should have more days than that to my credit. Surely nights spent pacing the floor with a cranky baby count for more. And if I’ve been alive for 3,125.7 weeks, that means I’ve survived over 3,000 Mondays. Doesn’t that alone deserve a medal of some sort?

Logically, my brain skipped to wondering how far we are from the planet Neptune. Thanks again to Google, I found this information:


Too far for a weekend destination, and I hear the weather is terrible there this time of millennium. The average surface temperature is a balmy -218° C. Still, that’s a lovely group of numbers.

Much closer to home, did you realize that humans have an estimated 32.7 trillion cells in their bodies give or take a few trillion depending on the metrics used?

I still have no idea what 651008 signifies, but if I google its properties, I get a page chock full of information:

And the above showed only a part of the page. Well, this made me wonder what properties the number 1 has.


Kind of fascinating that the lowly number 1 has so much going for it.

Life is good here at Doright Manor. Good enough that I can spend my morning fiddling with Google and contemplating numbers as a possible hurricane approaches from the Gulf of Mexico, a distance of approximately 504 miles. 


Maybe this would be a good time to visit Neptune.

Peace, people.

Tropical Depression 9

We’ve got trouble coming.


According to tracking predictions on my Storm app, Tropical Depression Nine is going to make a pass very near Doright Manor in Florida this week. The disturbance is heading into the Gulf of Mexico now where it’s picking up steam and could potentially be upgraded to a hurricane. 

Studly Doright and I experienced a couple of hurricanes when we lived in Melbourne, Florida, in ’03 and ’04. I’m not in the mood to repeat those experiences. Sitting in a boarded up home  (aka “hunkering down”) for 24 hours straight while ferocious winds blew unidentifiable objects into our home was not optimal for my sanity. This blog should be proof of that. And we did it twice.

Had I never had to hunker down to survive two hurricanes I’d probably be writing a how-to blog for docile homemakers or an advice column for lovesick teenagers.

I asked Studly if the cats and I could evacuate to a safer place this time. He just pulled his hat down on his head and croaked, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” 

Maybe those days of hunkering down took a toll on him, too.

Oh, and because the storm is currently called “Tropical Depression Nine,” I thought this video featuring The Searchers was a fitting cap to the post. Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/7rXhXLsNJL8


Peace, people.

Before We Were Kings

Photographic Art by Julie Powell

“Before We Were Kings”

by Leslie Noyes

Before we were kings, we slept half the day rising at noon for our breakfast.

Before we wore robes, we frolicked like fools behaving as if it would all last

We snuggled and snuffled, snorted and sang, trumpeting our joy to the masses

And no one chastised us lest we succumb to a crippling, pachyderm sadness.

Oh! It was roll, roll, tumble and flow until the grand day of our crowning

Now we sit tall, on thrones one and all solemnly judging and scowling.

For more wonderful photography, visit https://juliepowell2014.wordpress.com/

Accidental Art?

Apparently I took some photos by accident.

Museum quality? You be the judge:

“Locked Out!”
  
“A Study in Blue (Jeans)”
 
Surely they’re worth some consideration. I mean, they’ve been given titles.

Peace, people!

 

Funny Bone Ticklers

My sister-in-law, Lyn, posted this to her Facebook page and said it tickled her funny bone. It made me snort soda out my nose. 

 

Since Studly and I will probably be recuperating from our beach vacation today, I went in search of other funnies. Enjoy and thank me later. 

 

Now that’s ^^ punny.

A little humor for your conspiracy theorist friends:

My, how times have changed:  

   
Am I right?

 

I’m cleaning right now….

   

My son’s cat had this fear:

I’ve heard of religious persecution, but this is in another category.

   

Don’t ask him to turn his head and cough!

 

Here’s one on being proactive:

 
And finally, one that hits really close to my heart: 
Peace and giggles, people!

And You Thought YOU Married a Nag

The couple beside me on the beach yesterday ordered a picnic lunch. Not long after their lunch arrived so did a seagull. He was immediately joined by a rather talkative friend. 

 

I couldn’t decide if the nagging bird was negotiating for his fair share of the leftovers, scolding the gull for his lack of aggressiveness, or trying to get his son more playing time on the local Little League baseball team. Whatever it was, he never let up.

Peace, people.

Dolphins and a Disruptive Digit

There’s something that prevents this video of frolicking Dolphins from being absolutely perfect, but for the life of me I just can’t put my finger on it…. 

 
The dolphins were quite spectacular when viewed in person. I cried like a baby watching them leap about in the wake made by our boat. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize my finger was partially obstructing the lens until after the video had been shot. Sigh. It’s worth a watch anyway–the Dolphins put on quite a show.

Peace, people!

Who Gets Sick in Paradise?

He snores beside me,
deeply, but not too loud.
Maybe after three days of
fevered restlessness he has
Found some equilibrium.

Just outside our hotel
room, people frolic in the
Warm waters of the blue green
bay, while I play Words With
Friends on my iPhone.

A morning spent on the beach
alone, pretending to be a
Minor celebrity escaping
pursuit by rabid paparazzi
Proved far too lonely.

So I drank too much rum punch
before returning to the dark
Comfort of our air conditioned
suite where I slipped beneath
Cool sheets to be with him.