Tag: humor

Pretty Dress Blues

I bought a blue dress,
Fits me like a glove,
Blue lace over silk,
So what’s not to love?

I’ve got those low down, pretty dress blues.

Dress hangs in my closet,
Beside five pairs of jeans,
It looks out of place there,
You know what I mean!

I’ve got those low down, pretty dress blues.

I bought shoes to match
That pretty blue dress,
They’re silver and sexy,
Will I wear them? No guess.

I’ve got those low down, pretty dress blues.

I’ll pack that nice dress
Maybe wear it one night
Shock my dear Studly,
I’ll be such a sight.

I’ve got those low down, pretty dress blues!

(I did buy a dress and heels. Now, whether I wear them in public is a different matter. I’m such a committed blue jean girl, and dresses have a way of bringing out all my insecurities. But, I’m taking this thing to Ireland in hopes that an occasion will call for a dress and heels.)

Love is…

Love is…

When you’re hungry, but you know if you get up to fix something you’ll wake up your sleeping husband and the cat, so you just sit and slowly starve to death.


They’re both snoring, by the way. 

Egg or Turd?

Wednesday as I sat typing at the kitchen table I caught movement in my peripheral vision. Just outside my window a turtle seemed to be laying an egg or eggs.


As soon as she moved away, having covered the fruits of her labor, I went outside and placed an empty flower pot atop the disturbed earth in order to protect the eggs from scavengers.


Of course now I’m wondering if she was indeed a she. If not, I’m most likely protecting turtle turds. Good times at Doright Manor. 

Peace, people!

Snapshot #173

I took a picture of my dining room. I’m calling this one, “I Went Outside to Take Photos of the Local Flora, but the Local Fauna Swarmed Me Causing Me to Curse and to Slap Myself about the Head and Neck.”

Snapshot #170

I panicked when I realized I hadn’t taken a picture for the blog today. Fortunately, the subject needn’t be deep, just close at hand.  I call this one, “My Left Foot, Not the Film, the Appendage.” (Note the bandage. I believe I was bitten by a radioactive spider and will soon develop super powers, or not.)

Snapshot #169

My new washer and dryer arrived today exactly one month from the day a lightning strike rendered my washer unrepairable. I call this one, “I Hereby Christen You Ida and Oscar. Long May You Launder!”

Snapshot #167

This unfortunate sign placement gave me a giggle. How about calling this, “To Every Thing There is a Season….”

The Ballad of the Washing Machine

The Ballad of the Washing Machine
(with apologies to all poets)
By Leslie Noyes

A dark and stormy night, it was
(With a nod to good old Snoopy),
Thunder boomed and lightning struck,
All our appliances then went loopy.

The tv died, our elliptical fried,
Repairmen were soon called,
And all was made as good as new,
Except for the washer, there we stalled.

I made plans with GE service,
A technician soon would arrive,
But he fell ill, and couldn’t come,
For another week we’d strive.

Off I went to the laundromat,
Two baskets full of clothes,
There I was accosted in broad daylight,
By a man who didn’t know “no!”

The GE man was finally well,
When he arrived with a smiling face,
“All you need is this new part;
I’ll order with due haste.”

A week went by and he returned,
The part was here and ready.
“Oh dear,” he said, “This part’s not right!”
I felt less than steady.

So I returned to the laundromat,
With detergent and some mace,
But no one messed with me this time,
I had on my mean game face.

Seven more days I waited for news,
We finally got a part,
Back came the man from old GE,
“Oops, I hate to break your heart.

“Your machine is unrepairable,
It suffered a fatal blow,
So I can’t help you; sorry folks,
This washer has to go.”

I muttered a phrase beneath my breath
It rhymed with “duck, duck, duck,”
Then traipsed off to the laundromat
Hoping for better luck.

Now I must buy a new machine,
And it won’t match my dryer,
This model is no longer made
And the cost will be much higher.

This ends my tale, at least for now,
I’ve run out of patience and bucks
There’s nothing to say, but that old phrase,
That rhymes with “duck, duck, duck.”