Dark Tower End or Beginning

For the past few months I’ve been traveling through more intertwining worlds than I can name thanks to the genius and imagination of author Stephen King and his Dark Tower series. I’m not a rapid reader, and these books aren’t particularly easy reads, so perhaps it took me a little longer to travel the road of the Gunslinger than it would another reader. Now that I’ve completed the journey, I’m bereft. How will I go on without Roland, Susannah, Eddie, Jake, and Oy? Especially Oy, the billy bumbler.

My son is to blame for insisting I read the series. As a long time Stephen King devotee, I had grimly resisted reading the Dark Tower books. I’m not sure why. I started book one years ago, and I only made it through a few chapters before putting it aside. It didn’t feel like a Stephen King book. I believe at that time I wanted another Carrie, Salem’s Lot, or Christine, and this didn’t fit the bill.

More recently I’d seen the film and wasn’t impressed, but I must tell you the film bears only scant resemblance to the enormous scope of the books. The film was akin to a dry saltine cracker, while the books are a magnificent feast.

In this past year our son, Jason, persisted in cajoling me into reading the series. He fed me little tidbits that he knew I couldn’t resist, such as “Stephen King writes himself into the books,” and “He includes characters from other novels he’s written,” and finally I succumbed. Thank goodness.

Most of my books nowadays are read on Kindle, and books 1-6 were readily available in e-reader format. When I completed book six in the middle of the night, though, and immediately went to the Kindle store to download book VII, it wasn’t available. I had a panic attack. Roland and his intrepid ka tet were in dire circumstances.

I made myself wait until morning to check again on its availability, but I tossed and turned all night. The book still wasn’t available. I called my son.

“Help! I can’t get book VII on my kindle.”

“It’s there,” he said. “I read it on mine.”

“Then why can’t I?” I whined.

He laughed evilly. Kids these days.

I even tweeted Stephen King. “WTF, man! Why can’t I download Dark Tower Book VII on my kindle?”

No response. Argh.

For a week I checked almost constantly on Amazon and finally gave up, broke down, and ordered the physical book. It was HUGE. Seldom do I think about the size of an electronic version book. The space one takes up in my hands never changes. A 35,000 word book feels exactly the same as a 200,000 word book. But this book. Whoa! I felt as though I might as well have begun reading Webster’s unabridged dictionary.

It’s also a first trade edition. Briefly I wondered if it might be worth something more than I paid for it, but knowledgeable friends assured me it was not.

Gamely I plowed through. Ah, the sacrifices I made for these characters: Cramping wrists, having to use a lamp to read by in bed, not being able to tuck the tome into my handbag. Agonizing. But rewarding.

When I finally reached the end I began to cry and couldn’t stop for many minutes, not necessarily because the series has a sad ending–it really doesn’t, but because it was over. No more Roland of Gilead. No more Susannah, or Eddie, or Jake. Mostly though, no more Oy, the billy bumbler. Oh good and faithful Oy. Dammit. I’m crying again.

Peace, people.

P.S. Guess what book is now available on kindle? You guessed it, book 7. Maybe the universe was trying to teach me a lesson in patience.

Studly’s Discovery

As regular readers of Praying for Eyebrowz know, my husband, Studly Doright, has been dealing with a painful sciatic nerve issue. For the past six weeks he has been hobbling around the house, a mere shadow of his normal gregarious self.

While he’s had some relief thanks to epidural injections of steroids and a mixture of medications, my poor Studly is still dealing with a great deal of pain and a severe lack of sleep. I’m in awe that he’s remained even-tempered throughout this ordeal. I’d have been throwing things and cursing a blue streak if our conditions were reversed.

But there have been some bright spots. Studly’s inability to sleep has led him to watch television at all hours of the day and night. That’s how he discovered and then introduced me to The Zoo on the Animal Planet network.

The Zoo is a behind the scenes look at the Bronx Zoo, and it’s an enthralling series. As I write this, a snow leopard named Leo is undergoing a root canal. I’ve also watched a pair of Bengal tigers attempt to mate and a rhinoceros get an ultrasound. I’ve become a huge fan.

My Studly, who isn’t into travel, actually thinks we need to visit the Bronx Zoo sometime in the near future. I’m not going to argue with him, but first we need to fix that sciatica. On that front, we’re probably looking at surgery. Ugh.

In the meantime, here’s a video from The Zoo.

https://www.thewrap.com/animal-planet-zoo-elephants-tuberculosis-tb-grooming-exclusive-video/

Rainy Saturdays, Nudity, and Ukeleles

The best way to deal with an early Saturday morning thunderstorm is to pour a second cup of coffee, add a generous helping of Irish cream, and let the lightning and thunder rage on outside.

I need to take a shower, and I should be doing chores, but the rain is telling me to wait.

One should always listen to the rain. Unless, that is, the rain is telling you to strip naked and run through the neighborhood playing a ukulele. I won’t make THAT mistake again.

Albert Arthur Allen’s “Nude with Ukelele”

Albert Arthur Allen’s “Nude with Ukelele”

Peace, people!

Do the Wave

Friday was pretty low-key around Doright Manor. I caught up on the laundry, and we took Studly Doright for a second epidural for his sciatic pain. He’s hoping that this second round will allow him to embark on his annual men’s golf trip later this month. Fingers crossed.

I decided to cheer him on by doing the wave, but a one woman wave isn’t all that effective. In fact, it’s downright idiotic. So I enlisted members of the animal kingdom to assist me. It’s still fairly idiotic, but you have to admit that animals caught in the act of waving are pretty cute.

Peace, people!

Oddities and Noteworthy Sights Along the Way

Now that I’ve returned safely home to Doright Manor after my trip to San Marcos, Texas, I’ve had a bit of time to look back at some of the cool stuff I found along the way.

For instance this drive through daiquiri store in Louisiana, just across Texas border. Isn’t it illegal to drink and drive?

And how about the Wooly Mamoth (sic) head mounted on the wall of a barbecue place in Katy, Texas? I’m fairly sure the disclaimer “REPLICA” wasn’t necessary, but it made my daughter and me giggle. The misspelling of mammoth was a bonus.

Notice the sign on I-10 just west of Mobile, AL. I almost cried because I thought it read “ROAD WORK NEXT 568 MILES.” Thank goodness the decimal point between the 5 and the 6 was just difficult to see.

Technically, the Alamo isn’t an oddity, but it’s worth a mention.

On my way to San Antonio, I spent the night in a Holiday Inn in Gulfport, Mississippi. I’d stayed there before and had fond memories of the place. The staff is friendly and the rooms comfy. This time I snapped a photo of the nifty artwork in my room. I love retro pieces and thought this was a nice change from the artwork one usually finds in hotels.

A red door on a shop in Wimberley, Texas. I like red doors. Once I heard that if you want your house to sell quickly, paint your door red. Works for me.

San Antonio has some nifty stuff to see besides the Alamo.

I feel so fortunate to be able to travel and share my adventures with you all. Hopefully I still have a couple of decades ahead to enjoy adventures like this one. It’ll break my heart when I can no longer take my car on long trips.

Peace, people.

It’s Good to be Home

Top five reasons why there really is no place like home:

5. My time zone

4. My shower

3. My bed

2. My cats

1. My Studly Doright

And then there’s this:

Final Final Four Post

And then there were two: Michigan and Villanova. At the end of the day, only one team would prevail as the NCAA men’s basketball champions.

Ashley and I had tickets to the final game. If the Jayhawks had still been in the tourney, we’d have gladly driven back into crazy San Antonio traffic, paid a fortune for parking, and a fair amount to Uber to and from the event. Alas, the Jayhawks were eliminated on Saturday, so we elected to watch the game from our hotel room in San Marcos. Call us wusses. We can handle it.

We weighed a great many factors in making our decision besides those listed above. I still struggle to speak and even though I feel okay, it’s wearing me out. Ashley has a flight to catch and a long drive to her home in Illinois once she lands in Des Moines, Iowa. I have a thirteen hour drive ahead of me. Still, we both agonized about not seeing the biggest game of the year in men’s college basketball.

So we spent the evening watching the game in our pajamas while we tried to cram all of our purchases into our suitcases along with the stuff we brought with us. I really don’t care who wins. Right now Villanova has a hefty lead with 11 minutes to go.

Coolest things this weekend:

Just being there! We’ve watched the pageantry of this tournament for years on our respective televisions, but there is nothing like seeing it all in person.

Ashley ran into a Chicago baseball icon, Ronnie Woo Woo in the Alamodome and posed for a photo with him.

We were live on a CBS television broadcast when we stumbled into view behind the broadcasters’ table. We looked like happy dorks. I suppose that’s what we are.

We enjoyed exploring San Antonio, strolling along the River Walk, and mingling with fans from all over the country.

On Sunday night we enjoyed live music and the enthusiasm of young Michigan fans in a San Antonio pub. Oh, and it warmed my heart that these young people knew the lyrics to all of my generation’s favorite songs!

On Monday, Ashley and I explored the little town of Wimberley. We did a bit of shopping and had a great lunch at Ino’Z on the banks of Cypress Creek.

I’ve most likely mixed up my verb tenses in this post once again, but we’ve had, and are still having, a wonderful time.

Tuesday is all about travel. I’ll deliver Ashley to the airport in Houston, about three hours from San Marcos, before heading east on I-10. My goal is to get as far down the road as possible before stopping for the night.

Send us some good travel vibes if you are so inclined. And as always, peace, people.

A Moment in the Spotlight

Ashley and I made our national television debut yesterday. For one brief moment we were caught on camera during a live CBS sports broadcast in downtown San Antonio. Ashley’s middle child took a screenshot of our appearance and texted it to her mom. I’d love to say we were models of beauty and grace,

but we were closer to being doubles for dumb and dumber. What can I say? Every time I see the photo I collapse in a fit of giggles. My hair. Ashley’s expression. Priceless.

I still don’t have my voice, so I text Ashley anything important I need to say. As I write this we are sitting outside listening to live music on Saturday evening at a venue filled with Michigan fans.

What fun we are having! Thanks to the Stewarts for putting their tickets up for sale, and thanks to my Studly Doright for buying them even though he couldn’t attend. Thanks to Ashley for saying “yes” to joining me, and thanks to Ashley’s husband for agreeing to be the sole Easter Bunny at their home this year so Ashley could join me, as well.

We’re still bummed that the Jayhawks lost so badly to Villanova, but there’s always next year. Might need to start making plans for Minneapolis.

Peace, people!

Too Tired and Sad to Write (much)

Our Kansas Jayhawks lost to Villanova in the semifinal game of the NCAA Final Four men’s basketball championship. Villanova set a new record in three-point shooting and dominated the Jayhawks by a score of 95-79. Even though we scored two quick points early, the first half was brutal. I’m so sad.

The Jayhawks had a great year, though, winning their 14th straight Big 12 conference championship. And I had the opportunity to be in the Alamodome with my wonderful daughter in the amazing city of San Antonio, Texas, to watch two games of one of the premier American sporting events. It was still an amazing day.

May I take a moment to praise my daughter, Ashley? She is a logistics dynamo and kept me from worrying about transportation and directions and all manner of things. I’d have been a nervous ninny without her along. Plus, she’s just a lot of fun to hang out with.

Oh, and thanks to an ongoing sinus issue I lost my voice sometime on Saturday morning. I could kind of croak sometimes and whisper other times, so Ashley had to interpret for me, as well. It’s probably best that I couldn’t yell during the KU game. There were small children around.

Now Ashley and I find ourselves with two full days in San Antonio before her flight out of Houston on Monday. What will we do? Anything we’d like, thank you very much.

Happy Easter everyone. And as always, peace, people.

Good Morning from Houston

It’s Saturday morning, and a fine one as far as I can tell. My daughter and I arrived at my brother’s home in Houston within minutes of each other around five on Friday. She flew in from Des Moines, Iowa, while I drove from Florida and, voila! Here we are.

For a good twenty minutes yesterday I wasn’t sure I was going to get here at all. My gps took me on some rabbit chasing adventure just outside of Beaumont, Texas, and soon I was bouncing along on backroads, some covered in gravel, some partially barricaded, and one completely blocked to traffic. It was obvious that the gps had lost its freaking mind and that I would most likely die alone at the end of this middle of nowhere dirt lane.

I sat and thought for a few minutes then realized I needed to backtrack and just find the damned interstate again. No need to get all melodramatic; although, part of me wondered what future archaeologists might conclude when they found my skeleton sitting upright in my Mazda hundreds or even thousands of years from now.

“Probably senile. Right age. Car had evidence consisting of junk food wrappers and plastic cups that once most likely contained diet Coke. I guess she didn’t remember her Mazda had a reverse gear. Poor girl.”

As I backtracked I realized that the gps had most likely tried to help me avoid some traffic issue on the interstate and didn’t factor in that roads around Beaumont, like the one it directed me to, had been seriously impacted by the flooding that accompanied last year’s hurricanes. Guardrails were warped and in some places lay mangled on both sides of the road, and there were places so degraded that I couldn’t drive on the correct side of the road without endangering my safety. Intense!

When I finally made it back to an entrance ramp for I-10 West, I breathed a sigh of relief and completed the rest of my journey without incident. I hugged my daughter and my brother and my sister-in-law, then we went out for drinks and dinner and more drinks and had just a wonderful evening dining alfresco in one of the best cities in the world.

I slept like a drunken sailor and am now up and ready to continue my journey, as my daughter, Ashley and I drive to San Antonio for the NCAA men’s Final Four basketball tournament starting tonight! Just to be safe, I’m putting Ashley in charge of navigation.

Peace, people!