I fell this morning.
On my way to fetch
Clean water for the cats
I spilt a few drops, slipped,
Went splat!
The slow-mo footage did not
Play this time.
The fall was fast and furious
Like a Hollywood film,
Only less sexy.
Water puddled ’round me
Subjugating me to its wishes.
Literally, I had fallen and
Could not get up.
Somewhat feebly I called “help!”
The cats scattered, ostensibly
For first aid.
I sat cataloging my injuries
Thanking God that I
Still bounce a bit.
I scooted on my derrière
Until I reached the rug.
Managed to grasp the
Counter and pull myself
Up. Slowly.
Surrounded by water
No towels in reach
I moved inch by inch
Using the rug as my
Conveyance.
Now my elbow hurts
Like a son of a gun
From clipping the counter
On my way down
Down, down.
Somehow I managed to
Ping pong between the
Kitchen island and the
Cabinets, bruising both
Hips symmetrically.
My lower back, my
Ass and shoulders
Protest the insults
Heaped upon them
Once again.
And Studly, when he returned
Could not resist
Lecturing me on my
Lack of awareness.
Asshat.

