Up, Up, and Away

There’s an airline ticket for today with my name on it. Not a paper ticket; how passé those are these days. No, mine is an e-ticket, which of course I printed out because at my age it’s still a little unnerving not to have physical proof of my reservation. Never mind that the acknowledgment of my ticket purchase is in my email, and that I also took a screenshot of it. Nothing makes me feel more secure than having the darned thing printed on something tangible.

I remember when airline travel was the purview of the well-to-do. Women dressed to fly as if they were headed to church, and gentlemen donned suits and ties. Flight attendants were all female and had to meet strict age, height, and weight guidelines.

By the time I finally got to fly, airlines were much more egalitarian. No one got all dressed up to sit on a crowded plane between two sweaty businessmen. Flight attendants, male and female alike, looked like normal people instead of models. Still, flying was an exciting event for me. It still is.

Even though I flew regularly as part of my job with a non-profit for several years, I never tired of traveling by plane. Sure, there have been trying times–lost luggage, cancelled flights, ornery seat-kicking kids in the row directly behind mine, but still I’m entranced by the magical experience of a giant metal machine full of people overcoming the bonds of gravity to soar from point A to point B.

Hopefully all will go smoothly today, and in just a few hours after taking off from the Tallahassee airport I’ll be with my daughter and her family in Illinois. Magic.

Peace, people!

Carried Away

Balloons did the trick, one attached to each arm, two more tied on to my swollen ankles,

and thanks to a stout wind I was on my way up. I tried to wave to the crowd below,

but the motion caused a disruption in the airflow and briefly I found myself wobbling

precariously. Acknowledging the accolades would have to wait until I mastered control.

To Drive or To Fly?

To say I am a logistics dunce is an understatement. Creating schedules, arriving at informed decisions around dates and times, brings on a headache every time. 

I stand in awe of those who fit together master schedules for schools, making sure each child in every class in every grade gets the required amount of time for the core subjects as well as physical education, music, library, and art, and builds in time for lunch and a recess as well. I’ve watched the process and trust me, it’s incredibly difficult. Never did I complain about scheduling lest someone hand the job over to me. 

But I digress. My current problem is trying to figure out whether it’s more cost efficient to drive or to fly to my daughter’s home in Illinois. If I were working it’d be a no-brainer. I’d need to fly to cut down on lost time at work. But, that’s not an issue.

Help me figure this out:

Flights: The lowest priced flights start at $456, but they have multiple connections. I hate multiple connections.

Driving: The distance from Havana, FL, to Rapid City, IL, is 1004.6 miles. Let’s call it an even grand.

My car averages 27 miles per gallon.

Studly and I used all of our hotel points on our last vacation, and I’ll need to stay two nights on the road. Let’s say I’ll spend about $120 per night.

If I choose my meals carefully I can eat for an average of $10 per meal. If I eat 10 meals on the road that’s $100. Let’s add in some snacks and call it $130.

Have I left anything out? 

There’s no prize for figuring out my best option, and I’ll most likely do what I want anyway, but if this stuff turns you on, go for it!

Peace, people!

  

To Fly Or Not To Fly: What was the Question?

I’ve given a great deal of thought to my “yet to appear” super powers. Just what would they be? How strong? Will they be worthwhile powers, or useless ones like the ability to consume massive quantities of prunes with no adverse effects?

Any day now I feel sure these dormant abilities will emerge in full strength to make up for all the years they’ve been suppressed. I was fairly confident that my 50th birthday would be the trigger point, alas, here I am at 57.75 and still nothing. I just hope they show up in time for me to fully utilize them before I’m too old to reap the benefits. It’d be a shame to learn I have the gift of super flexibility once I’m confined to a wheelchair.

In no particular order, here are the three standard super powers I’d most like to have:

1) The ability to fly. Okay, I lied, this is by far the most important of the super powers, so I listed it first. I do have some stipulations, though. If I can fly I also want the super power of having hair and skin impervious to sun and windburn. What good is having the gift of flight if one is wrinkled and unkempt? I’d also need an incredibly strong set of neck muscles if I’m going to fly long distances. Maybe that’s just a standard set of accoutrement when gifted with the power of flight.

2) Invisibility. Obviously I’d only use this power for good. Wink, wink.

3) Super strength. This is one that could be especially useful as I age. No more accosting strong young men to open tight lids and doors for me. Wait, I might want to think this one through.

In addition to these, I’d also like to have some not-so-standard powers. For starters, how about the ability to nap at will? Anytime, anyplace. I’ve actually seen this power in action, but have yet to be able to master it.

Also I’d like the power to eat any thing I want without ever gaining a pound of fat. I’d like that one as soon as possible as I’ve been eating like it’s already a given. On second thought, could it be made retroactive?

One more, because I’m feeling greedy snapping up all the good powers. I’d like the power to magically transport my grand kids to my house at any time, and then transport them home when they’ve been thoroughly spoiled. Really, this is the only one that matters.

If the whole super power thing doesn’t work out, I still have hopes that my letter from Hogwarts got lost in the mail. Accio correspondence!

Peace, People.