Just a Scary Night in Jacksonville

Studly Doright and I drove over to Jacksonville last Thursday afternoon to purchase a 2010 Honda Goldwing he’d found on Craigslist. Even though Jacksonville isn’t terribly far from Tallahassee, Studly arranged to take Friday off from work so he wouldn’t be driving home from Jacksonville on an unfamiliar bike after dark. 

Craiglist purchases always make me nervous. After all, there have been cases in which the person placing the ad just wanted to murder and rob someone by luring them to a meeting spot. As a proactive measure once we got to the designated location I stayed in the running car with my finger poised to dial 9-1-1. Studly shook his head and laughed at me. I get no respect.

Once we had the bike and title in hand, I set the car’s GPS for our hotel address and with Studly following on the Goldwing we set off across Jacksonville. Studly had instructed me not to worry if we were separated, assuring me he’d find the hotel on his own if necessary.

As soon as we got on the interstate a car cut in between us and in spite of Studly’s instructions I slowed a bit to allow him to catch up. Before long I spotted him in my rear view mirror making a move to catch me. Unfortunately, the driver of the car fell victim to a bad case of road rage and I watched in horror as he attempted to intimidate Studly.

Now, my husband is a former motocross racer. His reflexes and instincts are still sharper than those of most people I know, but this angry driver was incredibly aggressive and determined to teach Studly Doright a lesson.

When our exit popped up I hoped this person would stay on the interstate, but no, he came off right behind my husband. We immediately hit a stop light, and the driver stopped beside Studly. I was watching intently in case I needed to intervene. Studly was nodding. The driver was yelling; although, I couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

Apparently, the angry man finally felt vindicated and took a left turn as soon as the light turned green. Studly and I made it to our hotel without further incident. 

Once in our room I asked Studly what had happened. “Oh,” he said calmly, “he threatened to shoot me.”

My knees buckled. To think I’d been so concerned about the Craigslist seller and only mildly worried about the road rage guy. I didn’t sleep well that night. 

In the morning we left the Goldwing at the hotel and headed to a diner for a great breakfast. Much to my surprise Studly suggested we find a beach, so we followed the signs to Hanna Park, a gorgeous two mile stretch of powder soft sand. The tide was out, and we plucked a handful of delicate, intact shells from the beach.   

   
The walk and the clean tang of salt and sea cleared my head. All was right in the world, and I banished the potential violence of the night before from my mind. After taking Studly back to his bike we parted ways for the rest of the day. I drove down to St. Augustine to see what the outlet stores had to offer and Studly headed home to Doright Manor.

I hope that stupid driver came down with a bad case of diarrhea followed by extreme constipation and excessive gas. Otherwise, I wish him well. 

Peace, people.

  

Storm Brewing

I nestled into my covers on this cloudy afternoon, closed my eyes and drifted

Away to the lull of rolling thunder over the lake, the susurration of rain and wind 

Against the skylight. Into my dreams strode twelve Valkyrie, each with a fallen 

Warrior in her arms, bound for Valhalla at Odin’s behest. I craned my neck, stood on

Tipped toes, but could not see the faces of the dead. Worry not, rumbled a distant 

voice. None of these corpses belong to your time. They will stride the great halls with

All-Father and dine at his table. Chastened, I shrank from my curiosity and shadowed 

Mythic maidens, head bowed, hands extended in supplication. “Grant me entry,”

I implored. “A glimpse would suffice.” An answering reverberation threw me to my

Knees. Paltry human! You beg at great peril to your own welfare. Leave this path and 

Entreat us no more. Standing, I turned my back to the great guarding doors of Valhöl

Only to meet a spirit of such fierce beauty that I sank again in awe and obeisance.

A voice of compassionate strength filled my soul, as Freya lifted my head.

Child, you have shown great courage. Worthy are you to enter the great hall. Prepare yourself mentally to open the gates.

With all my heart I leaned into the task, only to awaken to a bright flash of

Lightning and the immediate clap of gut wrenching thunder. Valhalla must wait

For another day. Oh, but for a glimpse, a taste. “Odin eier dere alle!” 

  
Lately I’ve been re-obsessed with Norse mythology. As a child I read every bit of Greek and Roman mythology I could get my hands on, and that reading led me into the Norse myths. I especially enjoy the creation myths and the stories surrounding the afterlife. 

Studly Doright and I have been binge watching The History Channel series, Vikings, and apparently the episodes are bleeding over into my dreams. I’m not complaining.

Peace, People!

What’s Up, Pussycat?

Patches had been in this position, motionless for the past five minutes.   
I don’t believe her eyes have blinked the entire time. 

If I weren’t a chicken I’d look up to see what has her so fascinated. Please, oh please don’t let it be a gigantic woman-eating spider!

Peace, people!

The Spotlight

In response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt:

Witness Protection. When you do something scary or stressful–bungee jumping or public speaking, etc.–do you prefer to be surrounded by friends or by strangers? Why?

No shrinking violet, am I
Yet the circumstances do decree
If an audience of strangers or friends
Is preferable to me.

When speaking to a group
Of unfamiliar folks my
Sense of timing is impeccable
And I’m full of witty jokes.

At karaoke, though, I find
The better I know the crowd
The more relaxed my vocal chords
So I sing out loud and proud.

If ever I should bungee jump
I want six friends around
To serve as my pall bearers
In case I splatter on the ground.

Peace, people!

Tunnel

i’ve been gone
for a long time
my mind
unhinged
tainted
exacerbated
by darkness and
troublesome doubt.

as the return trip
proves difficult
will i
prove
capable
sustainable
equal to the
test of wills?

light there awaits
punishment or peace
burning
bruising
controlling
welcome counter
to vapid refrain
ready or not, i come.

  

Praying for Eyebrowz Copyright 2015 by Leslie Noyes.

The Wall

way beyond the outer fence
where the people seldom go
live gnarly gnomes and frightful elves
my mother told me so.

we live within the shelter
erected in far distant years
against grave dangers present
the source of all their fears.

some day i’ll venture out there
past the barriers they’ve set
to find my fortune or my death
or perhaps to pay our debt

for it seems a wall this sturdy
built ’round our country lost
was not to keep the others out
but us in at any cost
Praying for Eyebrowz Copyright 2015 by Leslie Noyes.

Dread

  

i wait
those four typed words hanging between us:

we need to talk

with trembling hands i key in your
number,

voice mail, my reward.

what cruelty has led us to this awful
place?

how much more can my sanity take?

i jump as a ringtone signals your call.

hello? i answer so softly that even i struggle to hear.

hey, you say, i wonder…

please, just end this agony! get it over with already!

well, i just wanted to know if i could have your recipe for lasagna.

oh, well sure. no problem. glad to help. 

let’s talk again soon.

  
  

Placing Faith

 

where do we place faith?
in dreams or golden idols
in myth or magic?

fear and faith at odds
“if God be for us” they’ve said
then discard, hateful.

so call me naive
in choosing faith over fear
and love over hate.

I can’t be heartless
for life has given me much
and others little.

Peace, people!

Whose Psalm?

who will speak for justice,
whose conscience won’t be calmed,
who feels the anger justified,
who leans upon the Psalms?

yea, though I walk
through the valley
of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil
for thou art with me.

whose spirit recognizes truth
whose words and deeds combine
whose life reflects the Word
who fears not, but loves sublime?

  

Simply Speaking

simply speaking
i feel helpless,
useless, wasted.

simply speaking
i feel anguished,
broken, crushed.

no complicated
phrases convey
this despair:

again.