Driving Home

In another life I might have been a truck driver or a race driver or even a cab driver. The act of driving is one I thoroughly enjoy. Others seem oblivious, though, to the joys.

One afternoon this week I sat at a stop light and watched as the twenty-something woman in the car next to mine immediately slouched into her seat and began texting on her phone once her brakes fully engaged. 

For a few seconds I watched her intently typing a message–most likely something earth shattering like, “LOLZ!” Or “WTF man?!” before I scanned the other traffic around me that included an unevenly loaded trailer two cars ahead and a motorcycle with a dangerously low tire in front of my texting friend. In addition a group of elderly pedestrians was crossing at the indicated walkway a few car lengths in front of me.

My texting friend noted none of this. In fact, once the light changed to green she continued to sit and text only moving forward when those behind her began honking their displeasure.

This isn’t a treatise on safe driving; although, as a motorcyclist few things infuriate me more than a driver who texts while behind the wheel. No, this is a post about noticing one’s surroundings and enjoying the drive.

Many years ago (I might’ve even been a teenager!) I read a fluff piece in a doctor’s office magazine about the connection between women and driving. The magazine, I recall, was a religious publication, perhaps Guidepost, or something similar. Something about that article stuck with me all these years, even though I couldn’t quote a single word from it if my life depended on it.

The heart of the article was that women had gained a great deal of freedom in the preceding decades (this was probably written in 1975) and that perhaps the greatest freedom outside of being able to vote was that of being able to drive, and with that freedom came great responsibility.

The author of the article noted that female drivers always looked proud and responsible, that they seemed particularly aware of their surroundings and relished their independence. The author went on to say that since female drivers often had children in tow they seemed to take extra care with their precious cargo and to spend time pointing out interesting and educational sights along their routes.

Perhaps I was young and impressionable, but I took that article at face value and decided that I’d be an exemplary driver–and I probably succeed 85% of the time. 

I enjoy engaging with the road, noting how different driving surfaces interact with my tires. I love solving the puzzle of traffic, figuring out where my vehicle fits into the bigger picture as Car A moves into the space vacated by Car D while avoiding Pedestrians X, Y, and Z. And I’m keen on listening to the engine and how the gears shift in the transmission.

When our children were small I helped them learn to read by calling attention to billboards and signs on the sides of trucks. Our youngest could spell “Toyota” before her third birthday.  And time spent at stop lights wasn’t wasted either as we sang along to the radio or counted the number of blue, or red, or white cars around us.

Maybe my texting friend will at some point look up from her screen and realize there’s more to driving than pressing on the gas pedal and steering the wheel. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get rear-ended before then.

Peace, people!

  

Dread

  

i wait
those four typed words hanging between us:

we need to talk

with trembling hands i key in your
number,

voice mail, my reward.

what cruelty has led us to this awful
place?

how much more can my sanity take?

i jump as a ringtone signals your call.

hello? i answer so softly that even i struggle to hear.

hey, you say, i wonder…

please, just end this agony! get it over with already!

well, i just wanted to know if i could have your recipe for lasagna.

oh, well sure. no problem. glad to help. 

let’s talk again soon.

  
  

One Should Never Ever…

Binge watch “Criminal Minds” when one’s spouse is out of town.

Eat a double helping of refried beans before bedtime.

Text while driving.

Text while drunk.

Make small talk with crazy people.

Return to the scene of a crime.

Investigate things that go bump in the night.

Look when someone tells you not to look.

Take a sedative after eating prunes.

Spit into the wind.

Spit, period, unless the dental hygienist tells you to.

Pass gas in an elevator.

Piss off a grandmother.

Forget that all babies are beautiful in their Momma’s eyes.

Cut one’s own bangs with cuticle scissors.

Get a fit of the giggles at a funeral.

Wear hole-y underwear.