Stranded

Three firsts for me today—becoming stranded on a busy interstate highway, sitting in a police car, and riding shotgun in a tow truck. I sure hope tomorrow is less eventful.

I was only 59 miles from my destination when the car just stopped. One minute I was going 79 mph and the next I was losing speed like a descending rocket. I made it to the shoulder of the road, but just barely. Fifty-nine miles. Too far to walk, and there was a tornado warning involved.

Standing by the side of the busy interstate watching trucks zoom by at 70 mph and cars going even faster on this 90° day in eastern Illinois, I couldn’t help but wonder if those speeding by me might’ve been inclined to stop and help if I were a 20-something hottie wearing short shorts and a halter top instead of a 64-year-old grandmother dressed like a 64-year-old grandmother.

I guess I could flash my boobs, but that would likely get me arrested.

Calling for assistance was interesting. Press 1 for this and 2 for that and maybe 9 for good measure as I sweated in the heat. I carefully ventured outside of my car and leaned against the opened rear hatch so I could get some air.

Then along came Officer Garrett who let me sit in his patrol car while the tow truck was on its way. Lord love him. With his red and blue lights announcing our presence it was less likely that I’d be run over before help arrived.

But the tow truck is here now, so I guess I need to accept a ride from this man I just met. 😳. If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know I made the wrong decision, (Spoiler: I successfully arrived at my daughter’s home—hot, tired, and in need of hugs and wine—in that order. Many thanks to my daughter, Ashley, Grandpa Tom and Aunt Stephanie who each played a part in my rescue.)

(I know I switched tenses in this post, but it was a trying day.)

Peace, people!

Picture This

When I close my eyes I picture my destination—a village on the banks of the Mississippi.

I see my daughter and imagine the hug I’ve been aching to give her since early July.

My grandkids. I hear their voices calling, “Nana!” and I’m a rock star for a brief moment in time.

The road stretches before me. Miles of interstate and backroads, small towns and cities. A hotel somewhere between here and there.

Two sleeps separate me from my destination. Tomorrow the journey begins. Illinois, here I come.

Such a Good Boy

We didn’t know his name, this massive, chocolate-colored pit bull. He sat in the reception area of a veterinary clinic with two good Samaritans who’d encountered him on their morning walk. I’m leery of big dogs, but this handsome guy insisted on being friends. His tail wagged like a windshield wiper on full speed, and periodically he’d offer an enthusiastic bark to remind us he was part of the conversation going on around him.

I said, “He looks like a Roscoe to me.”

The female half of the Good Samaritan couple gasped. “That’s exactly what I said, isn’t it, Honey?”

He nodded. “Yep, but he doesn’t answer to that. He’s not Roscoe, but he’s been microchipped. We hope they can track down his owners, or at least provide us with a name.”

The four of us, including Not Roscoe, sat waiting—them for an answer and me for my cat, Gracie.

A young man entered the building with measured strides, and Not Roscoe went into observation mode. Where the dog had been clownish and friendly with me, he went quiet, almost respectful of the young man.

Two vet techs emerged from one of the exam rooms carrying a stretcher. They followed the young man to his truck. From my location I could see them opening the tailgate and then gently lifting a German Shepherd from the truck bed and onto the stretcher. I felt tears clogging my eyes as the young man held open the door for the stretcher bearers.

Not Roscoe laid his head on his paws as the stretcher passed by, and a mournful whimper rose from his throat. It was beautiful and chilling. One dog acknowledging the pain and fear of another.

When the young man, head bent, tears flowing unchecked, left the exam room after some time had passed, Not Roscoe ventured a question. But grief was too strong and the young man left without a word.

The Good Samaritan couple petted him and said what every dog longs to hear, “You’re such a good boy.”

He earned that.

Peace, people.

Worms. Why’d it Have to be Worms?

Warning: Gross stuff involved

Early this morning, Gracie, our 2-year-old rescue kitty, climbed into bed with me and snuggled down. I was just barely awake and stroked what I thought was her head. Surprise—it was her bum.

“Ew, Gracie. Don’t stick your butt in my face.”

Then I realized that something had stuck to my hand.

“Gracie!”

Fearing it was poo, I jumped out of bed, careful not to touch anything with that hand, and ran to the bathroom sink. And of course I had to look before washing. No poo, but what I saw looked like grains of rice. There were several on my palm. Hm. Not good. Not good at all.

I fetched a plastic baggie from the kitchen and deposited the little sticky things inside. After thoroughly washing my hands, I went to Google. And there it was. A worm that resembled a grain of rice. Gross. I’ll spare you the pictures.

I called the vet’s office as soon as they opened and took Gracie in for treatment. It was time for her annual visit anyway, so they got us right in and took care of her.

Surprisingly she was a model patient and they didn’t have to sedate my girl. I could have used some sedation after finding worms on my hand, but they didn’t offer that. It really should be part of their service, right?

As soon as it’s appropriate to do so, I’m having a glass of wine. That’ll have to suffice.

Peace, people.

Me? Gross? No way!

One Hundred

I’m excited to announce that my first novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, has officially garnered over one hundred reviews on Amazon. The number of reviews teetered at ninety-nine for several days, and impatient person that I am, I thought they might never cross into triple digits. Yet here we are!

Thanks to everyone who’s read and reviewed my book. I appreciate your support so much. And if you have yet to read it, I hope you’ll take a chance and add a little mayhem to your life.

Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08P76RBRD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_405M3C2H9MDYHV3SEFG3

Peace, people!!! And thanks again. Kisses all around. 😘

A Well Lit Cat

Gracie enjoys lounging on the light bar in the bathroom as she watches me apply my makeup most mornings.

“I don’t know, Mom. Maybe your eyebrows are too sparse…”
“Ah! You’ve never looked better.”

She’s not much help, but she’s a kind critic.

Peace, people.

But No Elephants

When my children were small we subscribed to the Parents Magazine children’s book club. Outside of feeding, clothing, housing, and loving them, it was perhaps the best thing I ever did for my kids.

Once a month or so the club sent two books to our home. Book arrival day was always a BIG DEAL. Each and every book we received was celebrated and read many, many times. We were pretty destitute in those days, and there were times when we could barely afford the cost, but we always bought the books.

Two books stand out in my memory as being favorites. One was The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone.

This delightful tale never grew old. I enjoyed it because I could do my passable Grover impression while building the tension surrounding the appearance of the dreaded monster.

Spoiler Alert #1: Grover was the monster at the end of the book.

The other book that the children repeatedly clamored for was But No Elephants by Jerry Smith.

This sweet story featured Grandma Tildy, and the voice I used for her was remarkably similar to the one I used for Grover, just a couple of octaves higher and a bit shakier—my repertoire was pretty limited.

Grandma Tildy lived alone until a man came along peddling animals. She allowed him to coax her into buying one animal after another, but she drew the line at buying the elephant. The repetitive phrase, but no elephants, found on every third page or so, never failed to elicit giggles.

Spoiler Alert #2: Surprise! Grandma Tildy ends up adopting the elephant and they all live happily ever after.

I have no idea why these books were on my mind today. Maybe I’m feeling nostalgic for the days when my kids were little. Or maybe I miss impersonating lovable, furry old Grover. Maybe it’s a little of both.

Peace, people.

A Member of the Family

We’ve watched this little one grow from a teeny tiny creature into the two-inch long beauty he/she is now.

Our banana spider, Octavia/o, lives out their life protecting us from pesky insects, and for that we are eternally grateful.

My only wishes are that I could be a better photographer or she/he more photogenic, and that I’d taken pictures of them as a baby. My, how they’ve grown.

Peace, people!

Letting People Down Since Way Before 2021

My first novel, Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort, is doing well right now. It’s received 96 ratings and/or reviews on Amazon, and all but four of those are of the four and five star variety. The one star rating threatened to undo me, and the two star didn’t exactly cause me to jump up and down in celebration, but when I put them in perspective they didn’t bother me quite as much.

I love reading the reviews. When I’m feeling low I read through them and bask in the really good ones and when I’m feeling terrific I read through the less positive ones to see what I can learn. It’s my weak attempt at balance.

I love the juxtaposition between these reviews:

Proof that beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder.

The funniest review I received wasn’t on Amazon, though. I discovered it on my Facebook author’s page and it’s made me giggle more than once. I hope this reader will hold on for the sequel.

I’ve experienced the exact same feeling, and I get it. The heart wants what the heart wants. All I can say is, Dear Reader Whose Name I’ve Scribbled Through, Wedding at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort is being edited and revised right now, so don’t despair. And please don’t throw tomatoes my way.

Peace, people!

http://Mayhem at the Happy Valley Motor Inn and Resort https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08P76RBRD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3B4RG80QB3PBVZXZK2CH

To Be (Succinct) Or Not To Be (Succinct)

Shakespeare once declared

Brevity the soul of wit;

All the world’s a stage

Succinct Hemingway

Manuscripts pared to bare bones

Never words to waste

Miss Jane Austin, though,

Played with epic paragraphs

Bursting at the seams

Advice for writers

Can we get our stories straight?

Be succinct, methinks.