Propaganda and Pancakes

Tuesday morning Studly Doright took me to breakfast at one of his favorite spots. I’d never eaten there because I don’t generally eat breakfast, but Studly has talked about this place for two years, so I finally relented.

The place is kind of a dive on the outskirts of Tallahassee. I’ve driven by it many times but never felt inclined to stop there for any reason. Studly and I have quite different ideas of what constitutes a good restaurant.

When we arrived the small dining area was almost empty, but between the time we placed our order and the time our food arrived the place had filled up. Following Studly’s lead I ordered pancakes, and they really were as good as he’d claimed. Unfortunately they didn’t cancel out the conversation swirling around us. It went something like this:

Old White Man: It looks like that Biden’s going to steal the election.

Old White Woman: You know Nancy Pelosi is just going to have him removed as soon as possible.

Different Old White Man: Yep, I heard that. Then that KamAlla will be President and she’s going to get that socialist, commie Cortez to be her Vice President.

Different Old White Woman Who Was Our Waitress: And that’ll be the end of this whole USA.

Old White Man: First thing they’ll do is try to take my guns, but I ain’t giving ‘em up without no fight.

Around this point I swallowed the last bite of my absolutely perfect pancake and suggested to my husband that we should leave before I said out loud the word I was thinking. In case you’re wondering, the word was “bullsh*t”. Once I had my mask back on I said the word multiple times. Not loud enough for anyone to hear it, but it made me feel better.

Where do these people get such outrageous ideas? I know this crazy theory isn’t only being bandied about in Tallahassee, Florida. I’ve also read it in friends’ posts on social media. So some tv conspiracy theorist must be pushing it. My money’s on this guy:

Alex Jones (Creep)

Peace, and get a grip, people!

#SecondCivilWar

American propagandist and ranting radio host, Alex Jones is all about spewing lies. Somehow he still has followers, and some of them believe every word his vile mouth says. Last weekend Jones decreed that he had first hand knowledge that the Liberals (he calls us Libtards or Snowflakes) were plotting a second Civil War to begin on July 4th.

Well, Twitter had a heyday with Jones. The hashtag #SecondCivilWar went viral and won the day:

Above is just a meager sampling of the hilarity that ensued from Jones’s declaration. I didn’t enter the fray, but I thought I’d add my own take here:

June 4, 2018

Dearest Studly,

My darling, I know you were hesitant to let me take my place on the front lines, but I knew my role was here at Fort Chick-fil-A on N. Monroe. After many minor skirmishes we have the place surrounded.

The red army has been launching waffle fries laced with ketchup out of the drive-through window to make it appear as though we have sustained significant injuries. Two of my soldiers have received hot grease burns requiring the application of cold compresses.

Currently our resistance fighters are dressed as chickens while clucking strenuously and carrying signs that read “Eat Mor Beef! Eat Mor Beef!” as the enemy sobs.

It pains us so to use poor spelling, but it seems the only way to reach the poor ignorant bastards.

I’ve been awarded a field promotion, and hope to be home soon. War is hell.

Love always,

Lieutenant Nana