American Dream

Oddly enough this poem came to me while I was watching Ender’s Game on HBO this afternoon. In solidarity with my Texas relatives I’ve taken a snow day, plus I still have a nasty head cold, so watching HBO is probably therapeutic. 

Back to Ender’s Game–I was struck by how purposeful his education was and for the thousandth time reflected on how without purpose mine was. Yes, I was taught to read, write, and perform mathematics, but to what end? Upon graduation from high school I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do or become.

When I went to college the first time, I was still purposeless. It seemed silly for me to continue spending my parents’ money on a big “if”.

Even when I returned to school I had no real desire to become a teacher; it just made sense for our family. I wonder, how do others deal with this lack of desire to be something specific. I know I had aspirations at one time, but I cannot remember them at all. 

American Dream 

She was smart,

But she held no purpose. 


Yet no audience. 

What benefit then 

Of all this hard work 

These accolades? 

That stellar GPA means 

Less than nothing now; 

Numbers on a printout. 

All for a scroll with 

Her name in tight

 He was smart 

But not filled with grand 


Tailored for 

Leadership through 

Genetics perhaps, and 

Hard work. 

No four year degree or 

Empty promises. 

Trials along his path 

Strengthened his 

Resolve, brought him 


 American Dreamers 

Different paths 

Taken together. 

 Not the entire story, 

Neither is it at an end. 

Daily one or both 

Smile, slightly 

Dazed by their

 Remember? he’ll ask 

She always does. 

What next? She’ll wonder. 

Who knows? Says he.


Peace, People!


If I ever want a good laugh I need go no further than Craigslist, that online domain where goods are bought, sold, and traded, where jobs are found and relationships launched.

I’ve never actually purchased anything advertised on Craigslist, nor have I discovered a job worthy of my considerable talents, but there is something slightly mesmerizing about Craigslist. I’m especially fond of the personal ads and rants and raves.

In the relatively small market of Tallahassee I discovered a potential 50 Shades of Grey scenario in the making:

Tallahassee Italian late 50’s (looks and acts younger) seeks attractive open minded younger female for a 50 shades relationship. Please send description or pic in first reply. No experience necessary if interested in learning the lifestyle. Be open to :

-being shown off
-light bondage
-role playing
-being trained

I am a classy, patient, understanding teacher. If you have experince let me know.

He says he’s classy, so he must be, right? He does have some serious spelling deficiencies, though.

And how about this rant I politely edited about an older female driver from a self-avowed nice young man?

You are a menace. You are not in a position to lecture anyone on driving or etiquette. I apologize for ending our conversation with an abrupt “F____ You” and I admit it was not my finest moment. However, I was a bit flustered after you almost caused an accident and then ambushed me in the parking lot. When I calmly explained to you that I had the right of way, you agreed. Then you claimed that the rules did not apply to you and proceeded to denigrate me, my manners, and my upbringing. My manners are fine, because I was not raised by people like you.

If I see you pull a stunt like that again, I will do the polite thing and call the cops.


Nice Young Man

I couldn’t make this stuff up, folks!

So if you’re in need of a giggle, check out Craigslist. Oh, and read my poem:


Whatever I need
Day or night
A quick search of
Craigslist can make
It all right.

Need a car?
A job or a house
To rent?
Golf clubs or maybe
A small pup tent?

Personal ads
In search of romance?
Casual encounters
Might turn raves
Into rants.

Just need to discuss
A topic online?
The forums can
Guide you,
If you just have the time.

Oh Craigslist however
Did we survive
Before you brought
This variety
Into our lives?


Peace and happy reading, People!

The Hood

Under the hood
Find a frightened white
Afraid of change
Afraid of diversity
Afraid of losing his every


Inside the ‘hood
Find a frightened brown
Afraid of hate
Afraid of censure
Afraid of losing his very



Would they know each other’s
If they met outside the


Above: A team of African American doctors scramble to save the life of a Ku Klux Klan member. Photo from YouTube.

A Plot of Earth–My Take on the Daily Prompt

Mercury did not suspect,
Yet Venus knew the score,
Earth was plotting to implode
Mars tried to close the door.

Jupiter was in on it,
He hoped that Earth would blow,
But Saturn was in denial,
And Neptune was too slow

The plot of Earth, it’s sad to note,
Went off without a hitch,
And those of us who ignored her plight
Are not allowed to bitch.


Cold Sufferers’ Bill of Rights

IMG_0829I’ve decided I’m probably not dying anytime soon, but I definitely have a cold. A serious cold, as opposed to a frivolous cold. In order to form a more perfect healing environment I drafted the Cold Sufferers’ Bill of Rights:

1. The cold sufferer shall have the right to construct a nest of pillows and blankets. All items necessary to healing and/or comfort shall be arrayed in appropriate positions either within or precisely adjacent to said nest. Items might include, but are not limited to, pillows, tissues, medications, books, and the t.v. remote.

2. The cold sufferer has the right to suspend by the thumbs anyone attempting to disturb the aforementioned nest.

3. The cold sufferer has the right to the entire bed for as long as his/her cold shall last.

4. The cold sufferer has the right to moan pitifully periodically with no repercussions, including, but not limited to sarcastic eye rolls or sighs of exasperation.

5. The cold sufferer has the right to be waited upon hand and foot for the duration of the cold.

6. The cold sufferer is excused from any domestic duties for the duration of the cold and perhaps beyond depending on mood and acting ability.

7. The cold sufferer has the right to request his/her minions er, attendants make as many trips to the drugstore as are necessary for the health and well-being of the cold sufferer.

8. The cold sufferer is deemed right in any debate. Arguing can curtail the body’s ability to heal.

9. The cold sufferer should be allowed full control of the remote. If she/he needs to watch Star Wars, Episodes IV, V, and VI repeatedly for a full week, so be it.

10. The cold sufferer shall be given immunity from repercussions relating to anything said or done during illness.

That’s all my poor stuffed up head can handle for now. Studly, bring me another hot toddy. (snapping fingers) Studly? Studly? He always was a bit of a rebel.

Peace, people!

Looking at all the Angles

I taught math to fifth and sixth graders. My mind has been warped ever since. The evidence follows in haiku:

Ninety degrees are
Also known as right angles
Angles most correct.


Obtuse angles are
Geometry’s friendliest
Shapes. Always open.

An acute angle
Isn’t necessarily
Attractive, my friend.


Lines meet briefly at one point
Think intersection

Parallel lines seem
So lonely, these lines never
Touch, never will meet.

Geometry has
No irregularity
Like haiku, rules rule.

Polygon having at least
Two lines parallel

The Cold War

I have a cold. My body has picked a fine time to come under attack. No, really. I just completed testing at daycare facilities in our area, and we don’t have company coming for another month. A cold couldn’t have settled in my head at a better time.

It’s still pissing me off. The local weather has begun warming up beautifully. Frogs are singing a happy harmony down by the lake. Birds are flitting about in courtship. And I’m sick.

I looked on Pinterest for cold remedy ideas. Between sneezing, sniffling, and hacking I found a cornucopia of suggestions.



Try as I might I didn’t find wine mentioned in any of them. I could get behind a cure that recommended I drink a glass of wine or two (or three or four) with dinner.


Unfortunately everything I’ve read suggests laying off alcohol for the duration.

I’m still holding out hope that this malady is just a 24-hour bug. I’m not sure it’s in my best interest to go without the grape for too long.

Peace, People!

P.S. I might be able to substitute whisky just this once.

Limerick Frenzy

There once was a man from Nantucket….

Whoa! That’s not where I’m going with my limericks.

Apparently limericks come in three types: ones you can tell in the presence of ladies (what a sexist thought), ones that can be told in the presence of clergy, and true limericks. Mine are just a mixture.

Studly and I moved out east
To avoid that old snowy beast
In Florida we’ve begun
To worship the sun
Or to revel in warmth at the least.


A bather in beauty to see
In a suit cut way up the knee
Once arrived on the beach
As pert as a peach
Amazingly she was a he.


Believe it or not, the beautiful person pictured above is transgender. Cool, eh? I should look so good!

Jose Cuervo and I went a’dancing
He wasn’t much for romancing
After two or three shots
I puked up my guts
And Jose went on with his prancing.


There once was a lady so daring
Her bodice was cut low for baring
The men all around
Made hardly a sound
So caught up were they in their staring.


A Trivial Concern

Once a month the golf club to which Studly belongs hosts a trivia night. Last month our four person team fared abominably. We did well on the science, geography, and sports questions, but pretty well stunk when it came to song titles and artists. Unfortunately every single question had a music question tied to it as a bonus.

With another trivia night on the horizon I thought I should do a little studying. Pinterest is a great source of trivia questions, and more importantly, answers.

And I’ve been playing Trivia Crack.

Contrary to its name I don’t find Trivia Crack all that addictive. Compared to my old Candy Crush addiction Trivia Crack is like a walk in the park. Amusing, but not habit-forming.
I win more often than not at Trivia Crack, but to be honest most of the questions are ridiculously easy.

I’ve also switched from the Howard Stern channels on SiriusXM to music channels hoping to sharpen my knowledge of singers and songs. Did you know there are bands named Neon Trees and Imagine Dragons?



And my parents thought The Beatles and The Monkees were strange names for bands.


Wish us luck! Peace, people!

Cleaning House for the Housekeeper


Studly Doright and I are not messy people. Well, Studly isn’t, but I am. And I have few domestic skills. While I’ve begun cooking for the Studmeister I still don’t clean for him. Twice each month a lovely woman comes to Doright Manor and makes everything sparkle like a shiny, new penny. What I do before the lovely Rosa sets foot in our home every other Friday is, according to Studly, pretty ridiculous.

On Thursday evening I go room to room inspecting for misplaced items and returning them to their appropriate positions. I scour around the cats’ litter boxes. Anything in the kitchen that looks even remotely as if it’s been used goes in the dishwasher or the recycling bin. Trashes are emptied, counters wiped down. I straighten the closet and align our shoes. On Friday morning I hide everything that’s been left on the bathroom counter in the cabinets and clean out the cat boxes one more time.

By the time I’ve finished, the house almost appears as if it doesn’t need cleaning at all. That, of course, is my goal. Well, I’m writing this at 7:25 on a cold Thursday, February evening. I guess I’d better get to work. The house isn’t going to clean itself.

Peace, people!