High Brow

I’ve just come from having my eyebrows threaded, and now my eyebrows look like a couple of poorly plucked chickens. I had asked the eyebrow technician (for lack of a better term) to take off “just a little” which she took to mean, “remove most of this woman’s eyebrows and just leave a few paltry hairs behind.”

 No these are not my brows, but the “before” photo comes close!

I really should know better. 99.8% of the time beautification procedures go off without a hitch. But when I have a big trip or event looming all bets are off. 

Once before a big date weekend in Indianapolis the brow tech burned my brows with hot wax. For weeks I peeled skin off of my forehead.

Just prior to a formal dress Christmas party with Studly’s co-workers I was having my brows waxed at the salon I’d always depended on when I heard the brow tech say, “oops!” Trust me, that’s not a good omen. The good news was she didn’t charge me. The bad news was one brow had been decimated. I wore a cleavage baring dress that night and hardly anyone looked aghast at my eyebrow.

You’d think I’d be the master of the eyebrow pencil by now, but sadly I’m pretty clumsy. I did sit at a makeup counter this afternoon while a beautifully made up college girl penciled in some killer brows for me. I even bought the pencil and a tiny brush. I asked her, in my saddest voice if she thought my brows might grow back by Wednesday when I leave for Guatemala. In response she patted my shoulder and said, “There, there. They aren’t THAT bad.”

In my next life, I plan on being a spoiled house cat. They’re always immaculately groomed and have perfect eyebrows.

Peace, people.

Friday Poem

When the whistles blow

At five on Friday, workers

Jump for joy. Weekend! 

 

Long days, longer weeks

Friday arrives finally

Saving us again. 

 

Inoculated for Guatemala

I leave to attend my niece’s wedding in Antigua, Guatemala in one week. Squeal!!! But wait a minute. According to the Centers for Disease Control, travelers to Guatemala should have the following inoculations: 

“Make sure you are up-to-date on routine vaccines before every trip. These vaccines include measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine, diphtheria-tetanus-pertussis vaccine, varicella (chickenpox) vaccine, polio vaccine, and your yearly flu shot.”

I’m okay on those above, but just this week I thought to check on other suggested immunizations: 
Hepatitis A
“CDC recommends this vaccine because you can get hepatitis A through contaminated food or water in Guatemala, regardless of where you are eating or staying.”
And:
Typhoid

“You can get typhoid through contaminated food or water in Guatemala. CDC recommends this vaccine for most travelers, especially if you are staying with friends or relatives, visiting smaller cities or rural areas, or if you are an adventurous eater.”

Now, I’ve been running around shopping almost non-stop for my trip, but did I think about needing inoculations? Nope.

On Monday I told my doctor, whose name I am unable to pronounce, so I’ve dubbed him Doctor When, that I was leaving for Guatemala on April 8th, and needed to be inoculated against Typhoid and Hepatitis A. In response, Dr. When laughed. 

“Your inoculations would be of no use taken this close to your trip,” Dr. When  said. 

“You’re probably going to die,” he added before climbing into his Tardis and departing for another point in time.

Ok, I made that last part up, but that was what I took away from the exchange.

He did prescribe an antibiotic just in case I ran into anything nasty, but I believe I’ll do as my brother instructed and self-inoculate with plenty of cerveza and vino. No waiting period necessary.

 

No street food for me. 😢

  

But fresh produce should be ok! 😃

  

And maybe I’ll skip eating and just shop!

Peace, people!


Tijuana Flats

Studly Doright finally had the opportunity to eat at Tijuana Flats, hands down the best fast food Mexican place in Tallahassee. 

I’ve been after him for months to try them out. Of course he loved it and asked innocently, “Why haven’t we eaten here before?” Slap!

 

 Peace (and hot sauce) People!  

Lazy

L is for Lackadaisical 

A is for Apathetic 

Z is for Zoned out

Y is for Yawning

In retrospect, I should have titled this piece “Cat.”  

Let sleeping cats lie

Lazily in sun’s warm rays

Purring soon follows.

 

Cat looking sleepy

Lulled into hypnotic state

Do not be deceived!

Fools!

No April Fool’s joke here, just a song that’s older than I am! And yes, there was music way back then.

http://youtu.be/q96ylFiQK_I

Poetry Month

April showers bring…

Poetry!

Every day, until the

First of May. 

May my future 

Endeavors achieve

Much higher

Levels of artistic

Value than the

One you are

Reading now.

Setting the bar pretty low. 😉

  

The Snake Next Door

  

And his worst enemy, shovel.

My neighbor discovered Mr. Snake on his front porch upon returning home from a doctor’s appointment. The meeting did not go well for the reptile.

The little guy wasn’t a danger, but my neighbor panicked. Understandable, yet regrettable all the same.

Rest in peace Snake.

Peace, people.

Dental Visit

Open wide, don’t flinch

Now you’ll feel a little pinch

Then only numbness.

You call that a pinch?

Sonofabitch I’m wounded

Grievously woonthed.

Thit, now my tongue ith athleep.

Thit, thit, thit, thit, thit.

Here’s one of my all-time favorite episodes of the Carol Burnett show. 

http://youtu.be/1CSJw96SAeM

Some Day

Some day the 

World will demand that

Man should make amends.

I’m sorry, he’ll say, and even though

There’s hell to pay the 

World will

Try to forgive him.

Because that’s the way of such things.  

Man will explain, as best he can.

He won’t lay claim to the

Blame for planetary warming.

Nevertheless, the World

Will say, here we are:

Ice caps melting,

Oceans rising, 

Droughts threatening.

You did nothing to help.

I’m sorry, Man will say.

I’ll do better next time.