Our lives have not always been easy. We struggled financially for many years. We failed each other many times, but we always got up and made things right. There were many times when it would have been easy to give up, to quit, but we refused. We were never satisfied with failure or with doing things half-assed.
So today I’m thankful for a certain willful stubbornness. A refusal to accept the status quo. Studly and I are living proof that if you work hard and treat others as you wish to be treated that there’s a good chance you’ll do okay in this world. No, we aren’t wealthy. But we are comfortable. We won’t have a fortune to leave our kids. But we have a whole lot of love to leave them. And stubbornness.
Here’s hoping that this Thanksgiving Day allows each of my readers to take a moment to think on all the really good things in their lives. I’m thankful for each of you.
Married folks tend to learn each other’s tics and tendencies over time. I’ve made note of some of the things that we just do because we’ve been yoked together for so long. Some of it isn’t all that pretty, but some of it is just right. I guess you’ll have to decide which is which.
Crack each other up with just the right facial expression.
Fart and/or belch freely, then apologize sincerely before farting and/or belching again.
Steal each other’s portion of the blanket.
Hold hands unselfconsciously.
Find each other’s lips on the first try in the darkest of rooms.
Know exactly where to scratch when their partner has an itch.
Finish each other’s sentences. Sometimes correctly.
Elaborate on one another’s stories.
Watch a program they don’t want to watch because their partner wants to watch it.
Understand the “look” and adjust as needed.
Commiserate with one another’s angst, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you.
Be the bright spot when the other’s is dim.
Anticipate the other’s needs, such as bringing home a new bottle of wine without being asked.
Refrain from making a joke at the other’s expense.
Gladly be the butt of a joke when necessary.
Me: Did you hear that Mary and Ken are getting married next June.
(One hour later)
Him: Hey, I heard that Mary and Ken are finally getting married.
Me: I know. I told you that earlier.
Me: Yes. You never listen to me.
Me: I think I’ll make chicken enchiladas for dinner.
Him: Why would you do that?
Me: Because I’m hungry.
Me: I’m making chicken enchiladas for dinner because I’m hungry.
Him: Oh, I thought you said you were taking cha cha lessons this winter.
Me: Why would I do that?
Him: That’s what I asked you.
Me: You never listen to me!
Me: Let’s go to a movie this afternoon.
Him: Sure. What do you want to see?
Me: Either “Get on Up” or “Guardians of the Galaxy.”
Him: I thought you wanted to see the one about James Brown.
Me: I do. That’s what “Get On Up” is.
Him: Then why didn’t you say that?
Me: I did.
Him: Did what?
Him: You forgot to say I don’t listen to you.
Me: It’s true; you never listen to me.
I got two hours of sleep last night. Maybe two and a quarter. My husband, Studly Doright, who by the way doesn’t have sleep apnea (we had him tested) snored all night long. And when I say he snored I mean he:
All night long.
There was never any pattern to the cacophony. He usually maintains some sort of almost hypnotic, metronomic rhythm that allows me to slip into sleep. But not last night. Just as a tango was established he’d switch to a rumba, then to a cha cha. There might have been a salsa thrown in, too. I would have loved a minuet, but that never happened.
I moved to another bedroom around 3:40 a.m. The cats found that amusing and wanted to play. I must have fallen asleep at some point, only to have Studly wake me up to kiss me goodbye when he left for work at 6. How very considerate of him. Thank you sir, may I have another?
Normally I’d have had the luxury of snuggling under my covers after Studly left for work, but I’d promised to meet an acquaintance at a fitness center for an early morning aerobics class. I went, and held on through most of the class, but I might have fallen asleep during the cool down. There was a trickle of drool on my yoga mat. I just hope I didn’t snore.