The Vagina of the Future

I had my second of three Mona Lisa treatments on Wednesday afternoon. If you need to know what that entails read this post: https://nananoyz5forme.com/2017/02/21/vagina-wars-a-new-hope/

The first treatment went really well, and the discomfort was minimal. And while the second treatment was more intense it wasn’t any worse than having my eyebrows waxed. Of course, I have only two eyebrows, and the Mona Lisa laser makes multiple forays into my vaginal area. I might’ve said, “ouch!” but didn’t curse even once. 

My gynecologist is the bomb. Before he started the treatment he noticed my Kindle and asked what I was reading, so I gave him a brief synopsis of Kim Stanley Robinson’s novel, 2312. Turns out my doctor is a sci-fi fan, as well; although, he’s old school: Heinlein, Bradbury, etc. 

While he switched equipment around I told him about John Scalzi’s, Old Man’s War series. In it, septuagenarians can sign up to go into space where they fight for a confederation of planets. The old warriors are given brand new, highly efficient bodies, while maintaining the wisdom they’ve accumulated in their seven decades of life.

Before the doctor left me he said, “You know, we’re doing science fiction type work in this room.”

I agreed, “Yep! Thanks for giving this old broad a vagina for the future!”

“To infinity and beyond!” 

Did I mention that he’s the bomb?

Peace, people!

Note: We are very pleased with the results of the Mona Lisa treatment! 

I’m too Fat for my Ukulele (and Other Stories from the Road)

No bull! 

At the Houston rodeo. I’d have won my event, except that my bull wasn’t real.
 
Apart from the skirt pulled up way too high–Erkel style under my boobs and the dainty sandals on my pretty feet I look like a real life bull rider. Right? Right? Why do I hear crickets?

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I own a ukulele now, purchased from a shop in Amarillo. So far, I know two notes, but the ukulele is small and my body is bulky. Together we look odd, like the instrument is being absorbed into my flesh. Like Jabba the Hut swallowing a little invertebrate whole. Gulp.

I’m not going to let appearances prevent me from learning to play the ukulele. Nossirree. But I might need to purchase a muumu just to complete the whole vibe.

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 Each day, the tattoo my nephew Russell bestowed upon me becomes prettier. I’ve tried to explain my feelings about it which go above and beyond anything I expected. 

Having never been a particularly attractive woman, it pleases me more than I can say to have such a beautiful piece of art adorning my body. It makes me feel happy. And just a little bit special. I only regret not having it done sooner. 

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One friend asked what I’d listened to during my adventure. If I were to try and list my choices in some kind of order, it might look like this:

Howard Stern on Sirius 100

  

John Fugelsang on INSIGHT Sirius/XM 121

 
Diane Rehm on NPR

 
An audiobook by John Scalzi
 
 
A V.I. Warshawski novel by Sara Paretsky
      
I also listened and sang along to the Classic Vinyl station, as well as the 60’s and 70’s stations on Sirius/XM. The comedy stations helped me cover many miles as well.

And then there were great distances without any sound other than that of my tires on pavement. Driving through the cities of Nashville, Kansas City, Dallas, and Houston required a great deal of concentration, and radio silence was a balm for my soul and a boost for my driving skills.

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Being home feels good. Today is a day for tackling mountains of laundry and snuggling cats, and for reading blog posts. I’ve been a terrible follower these past two weeks, clicking through blogs with nary a comment.

Thanks for all your positive vibes and support during my journey. Here’s a little Simon and Garfunkel to tie things up.

Peace, people!

http://youtu.be/7z9wd9bS1FM

John Scalzi Gets it Right

If I were a brilliant writer I’d have written this exact review. Thank goodness the brilliant writer who is John Scalzi, my favorite Scifi author in the galaxy, wrote this review of The Force Awakens so I didn’t have to. 

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/18/my-non-spoilery-review-of-the-force-awakens/
And for Pete’s sake, follow this man and read his books!

John Scalzi Presents Your Day to Promote Charities!

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/04/whatever-holiday-shopping-guide-2015-day-five-charities/
Friends, so many of you are passionate about charities you’ve started or organizations you support. Today is your day to submit information about your charitable organization to John Scalzi’s Whatever Holiday Shopping Guide.

Go to the link posted at the top of my post and carefully read the instructions for submission. Do it. ‘Tis the season. 

Peace and gratitude, people!

Irrelevant photo of me and either a baby brother or cousin. It’s all about me anyway.

John Scalzi Presents Day Four

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/03/whatever-holiday-shopping-guide-2015-day-four-fan-favorites/
Day Four of John Scalzi’s Holiday Shopping Guide gives fans an opportunity to provide input.

Do you have a favorite author, artist, or musician whose work you want to promote? Go to the link above and check out the criteria. Then make your pitch. 

Almost an irrelevant photo; alrhough, I am a big fan of this guy who’ll be 13 on Dec. 6.

John Scalzi Presents Day 3!

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/02/whatever-holiday-shopping-guide-2015-day-three-arts-crafts-music-and-more/
Are you the artistic type? Do you create art for others, either photography or paintings or any other item that the public needs to know about?

Here’s your opportunity to get attention on a site that receives literally thousands of views every single day. I’d like to say that describes my blog, but no. It’s John Scalzi’s “Whatever” blog site. 

Scalzi is a science fiction author who has followers all over the world, and who at this time of year accepts submissions from writers and creative types who want to get their work in front of a wider audience. Go to the link above and get your name out there. 

He explains the submission criteria in detail, so go. Tell him I sent you. That won’t help your chances of being accepted because John Scalzi has no idea who I am, but if he reads my name often enough he might just remember me next year when I have something to submit.

Good luck, and as always, Peace, people!

Irrelevant photo of me in Guatemala

Day Two of John Scalzi’s Holiday Shopping Guide

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/12/01/whatever-holiday-shopping-guide-2015-day-two-non-traditionally-published-books/
Today’s the day John Scalzi, awesome scifi author and all-around good guy begins accepting promotional blurbs from authors who have gone the non-traditional route in publishing. For more information go to his Whatever blog (link above) and read the entire post. Don’t read three or four lines and say, “I don’t get it….” Read the whole thing. Then if you still don’t get it shoot John a question.

Good luck folks, and as always, Peace, people!

John Scalzi Presents!

Hi Friends,

I know that many of my followers and friends are published authors or songwriters. Others are looking for that motivation or big break. It’s difficult to know how to get your work and your name out there. 

Let me introduce you to science fiction author John Scalzi. I’m a big fan of his work. It’s witty, fast-paced, and not so mired in the sciences that a casual reader of scifi will feel lost. I’ve begun following John Scalzi on Facebook and Twitter and strongly suggest that you do as well.

John started as an indie author and has made a big mark in the scifi world. And, he’s a generous guy, it seems. Starting today, he accepts blurbs from folks like us. Each day this week John is seeking posts from authors and other artists with one category featured each day. For instance today he’s accepting submissions from folks who want to promote a book or audiobook they’ve had published through traditional publishing routes.

I could go on and on, but John Scalzi explains it all much more concisely than I on his WordPress site, “Whatever”.

So, here’s the link. Get busy and get some FREE promotion. Best of luck.

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2015/11/30/whatever-holiday-shopping-guide-2015-day-one-traditionally-published-books/

Saving the Cowsills

Science fiction/fantasy is my favorite genre by far. Nothing thrills me like blasting into hyper space or exploring the terrain of a new world from the safety of my own home. 

I just finished the novel, The Three-Body Problem by China’s premier science fiction author, Cixin Liu. I’d love to tell you I read it in the original Chinese, but I only know how to say, not spell, “thank you” in Mandarin. The Three-Body Problem was not light reading, at least not for me. There was all this math-y and science-y stuff. I’m trying to decide if I’m woman enough to tackle the sequels. Three-Body provides a spectacularly different view into Chinese culture, so after a brain break I’m sure I’ll return to the impending Trisolarus invasion.

  
Before Liu’s book, I’d immersed myself in the works of John Scalzi whose Old Man’s War series is a must read for scifi fans. Scalzi’s wit, I suspect, could make a rewriting of the U.S. Tax Code into a pleasurable evening of reading, and I recommend it to everyone, not just those into the genre.

  
Hugh Howey is another scifi writer I’ve become attached to. Not literally because Howey might have me arrested, but his Wool Omnibus is incredibly entertaining, and deals with intriguing social issues. If you suffer from claustrophobia, be warned. The characters don’t get out much.

  
Now anyone who’s still with me might wonder what in heaven’s name all this has to do with the post’s title, “Saving the Cowsills.” As a preteen one of my all-time best friends who I’ll call LA, and I were obsessed with brothers John and Barry Cowsill of the family singing group the Cowsills, upon whom The Partridge Family TV series was based. 

 

The Cowsills. before they were famous I saw them in a cafe in Las Vegas, NM, but couldnt figure out where I’d seen them before. I’ve always considered that my lost chance to impress John.
 
We could tell you darned near anything you wanted to know about the brothers: Eye color, height, birth dates, likes, dislikes, etc. One of the highlights of our young lives was getting to meet our idols after a concert in Canyon, Texas.

At a recent reunion LA gave me a book entitled, I Think I Love You, and insisted that I read it. Sure, I said, thinking it was the last thing a scifi fangirl like me wanted to read, but after tackling The Three-Body Problem my brain truly needed a rest. I picked up LA’s book and dove in. And began giggling like a preteen schoolgirl. 

Written by Allison Pearson, of I Don’t Know How She Does It fame, I Think I Love You perfectly captures the mindset of a young teenaged girl infatuated with a rock idol, in this case David Cassidy of The Partridge Family. The book’s heroine, Petra, is obsessed with David Cassidy, whom I’d always assumed was an amalgam of John and Barry Cowsill. Ah ha!

The Partridge Family. That’s David standing in the back.

I’m not a particularly speedy reader, so I’m savoring the awkwardness and self-consciousness of Petra in something akin to a slow motion retro film. She’s me at 13. She’s pretty much every girl at 13, with the exception of those who somehow seemed to be in on the whole joke from the beginning.

I owe LA a big hug and a thank you for lending me I Think I Love You. It’s been more than a brain break. It’s been a refreshing swim in a pool of Cowsill-stocked memories. One thought goes out to my idol:  John Cowsill, we’d have been so very good together.

I look forward to finding out just what becomes of Petra’s obsession with her hero. He’d best not disappoint her!

Peace, people!