Lest anyone believe me to suffer from mediocrity in all areas of my life, I took a three and one half hour nap today. Bam!
Peace, people!
Tag: humor
Life’s Little Lessons #2
With Nana Noyes
Hairspray is an inadequate substitute for antiperspirant.
Flyday
Flyday, is the next best day to
Slatterday and Stunday
Before Stunday miraculously
Evolves into Stubday when
Thoughts of Glumday
Set in.
Glumday, ughday.
After Glumday
Twosday and Waddlesday
Are only slightly better, but
Slursday is close to nirvana.
TGIFlyday!
Life’s Little Lessons
With Nana Noyes
Dropping an empty Tylenol bottle on one’s foot hurts like hell, and may result in a need for more Tylenol.
Coulda Been
Studly and I were chilling out at Doright Manor on Saturday evening, binge watching the comedy series Last Man Standing, and the same commercial played at every break.
In this commercial an actress delivered the line, “My name is Cookie ask about me.” No pause, no comma. I took exception to her delivery.
After the fourth time I said, “It sounds like she’s saying her name is Cookie Askaboutme. The line should be, ‘My name is Cookie. Ask about me'” And I said it in a drop dead perfectly sexy voice.
“Isn’t my delivery better?” I asked Studly. Wise man that he is, Studly nodded his head in agreement.
“I coulda been an actress,” I said. “All I needed were good looks and talent.”
Building on that theme I continued, “I coulda been a boxer if I’d had muscles and strength!”
“I coulda been a singer if I’d had a good voice and rhythm.”
“I coulda been a model if I didn’t weigh so damned much.”
Studly just kept nodding his head sagely at each declaration. Finally I prompted him to contribute.
“I coulda been a loser,” he said, “if I weren’t so damned talented.”
What a negative Nellie. I coulda been a rich woman, if I’d married someone with a positive outlook….
Peace, people!
Why I Like This Photo
I am perhaps the least photogenic person on this planet, so there are very few photos of me worth sharing. And, it’s not that I look particularly great in this photo, but it appears that someone is looking at me in an admiring manner.
Lest anyone think that was the case, let me reassure you that shortly after this was snapped my “admirer” asked politely if he could please cross in front of me to go to the restroom.
Yep, I have that effect on men.
Peace, People!
Blurb Away
Daily Prompt: BYOB(ookworm) Write the blurb for the book jacket of the book you’d write if you only had the time and inclination.
Katniss Potter was just an ordinary orphaned wizard until she found herself deposited into a maze surrounded by talking trees who demanded she choose a faction or turn to the dark side of the force.
Follow Katniss and her faithful sidekick R2D2 as they navigate the perils of the maze and seek to learn the identity of her father.
Maybe this is a book better left inside my imagination.
Trivia Tonight
Studly and I are going out tonight. It’s Trivia Night at his golf club. Normally I’d be chomping at the bit, but I’m a little draggy this evening.
I spent the morning sitting at a too small table in a too small chair working with adorably energetic two and three year olds. Then I spent the afternoon organizing my kitchen drawers. The goal was to create a bar space that looked organized and decorative. In the process I planned to also organize the infamous, ubiquitous junk drawer.
Somehow one junk drawer turned into three junk drawers, and I still have leftover junk.
I ask myself, “Do you really need nutcracking tools?” Well, in 38 years I’ve never actually used them, but who knows what tomorrow might bring?
I ask myself, “Why do you have six pairs of scissors, five rolls of packing tape, and 57 individually-wrapped toothpicks?” Probably in case of an impending toothpick shortage or a packing emergency.
I ask myself, “Why is there an undeveloped roll of film in this mess?” Mainly because we never develop our film. It must be against our religion or something.
At the end of my afternoon of organizational frenzy I am no more organized than I was when I began.
I ask myself, “What have you learned from this exercise?” Junk happens.
With any luck one of the trivia questions tonight will deal with the proper number of individually-wrapped toothpicks one should keep on hand. The answer: 57.
Peace people!
Ode to Bed
Oh my bed, you dearest place
You cradle me with skill and grace.
How sad I am to leave your charms
When my clock sounds strident alarms.
Please let me be with you all day
For sound asleep I’ll gladly stay.
Safely within your covers wrapped
I have the perfect day all mapped.
Sleep ’til noon, and then I’ll wake
To eat a bite for my health’s sake.
Then back to you for afternoon’s rest
Snuggled deep in blanket’s nest.
Awaken to read a chapter or four
When my eyes droop I’ll sleep some more.
By evening I’ll be fresh as a daisy
Having spent my day being oh so lazy.
Oh bed how sad that we must now part
Just know you’ve a special place in my heart.
Peace, People.
Verbose
When I drink too much
Wine
One of two things
Happen:
Unfortunately I
Cannot
Remember
Even
One.
May God bless and
Keep each of you,
Dear readers.
Peace, people!
Praying for Eyebrowz 