Studly and I were chilling out at Doright Manor on Saturday evening, binge watching the comedy series Last Man Standing, and the same commercial played at every break.
In this commercial an actress delivered the line, “My name is Cookie ask about me.” No pause, no comma. I took exception to her delivery.
After the fourth time I said, “It sounds like she’s saying her name is Cookie Askaboutme. The line should be, ‘My name is Cookie. Ask about me'” And I said it in a drop dead perfectly sexy voice.
“Isn’t my delivery better?” I asked Studly. Wise man that he is, Studly nodded his head in agreement.
“I coulda been an actress,” I said. “All I needed were good looks and talent.”
Building on that theme I continued, “I coulda been a boxer if I’d had muscles and strength!”
“I coulda been a singer if I’d had a good voice and rhythm.”
“I coulda been a model if I didn’t weigh so damned much.”
Studly just kept nodding his head sagely at each declaration. Finally I prompted him to contribute.
“I coulda been a loser,” he said, “if I weren’t so damned talented.”
What a negative Nellie. I coulda been a rich woman, if I’d married someone with a positive outlook….