Attack of the Killer Flag

Patriotism is a fine thing, but yesterday afternoon I was walking down the sidewalk in Blountstown, Florida, when out of the red, white, and blue, I was accosted by our Stars and Stripes. A strong gust of wind caught the darned thing just as I passed by, and whack! Old Glory slapped the top of my head, almost knocking me into a pickup parked by the curb.

Okay, so I wasn’t exactly paying attention to my surroundings, but still, shouldn’t a citizen be safe from killer flags? Betsy Ross surely didn’t intend to let loose this flapping monster on unsuspecting citizens.

Peace, people!

Flags and Patriots

Stand, don’t ask
Pledge allegiance,
There’s a good boy!

Otherwise, those
Flag toting
Patriots cry no joy.

Never mind that
Soldiers died for
Your consecrated right

To speak your mind
Wrapped up in the
Constitution, tight.

Unblinking, unthinking
Loyalty to words
Written by a racist

Sing them anyway,
“Oh say can you see”
That doubts persist?

Courage lies within
Your conscientious
Objection,

Yet some say
Your rights unworthy
Of protection.

Screw that,
Give ’em hell
Stick to your guns,

Wrap yourself in the
Words of our founders,
Amendment number one.