Stitchless

Today I had the stitches removed from my knee. I’d waited patiently since my surgery two weeks ago, wearing compression stockings and keeping the little threads bracketing my kneecap dry.

The waiting is always the hardest, isn’t it? Waiting for Santa. Waiting to get your drivers license. Your first car. Maybe your first drink. All the other firsts.

But today the waiting was for the doctor. I waited, appropriately enough, in the waiting room. Then I was moved to the “SUBWAITING ROOM.” I’m not making this up. I waited for a good ten minutes to see a sub, but none was forthcoming. Not even a periscope came into view. False advertising, I say.

Eventually the doctor arrived. He’s quite a nice young man. Earnest and capable. Definitely worth the wait. And my stitches were extracted by a competent young assistant, rendering me stitchless.

Still, I’d have given a lot to see a sub.

Peace, people.

Common Side Effects

The price we pay,

And it is substantial,

To cue our ills

Is more than financial:

Bloating

Blindness

Difficulty in swallowing

Dizziness

Diarrhea

Bouts of unchecked wallowing

Anxiety

Insomnia

Excessive flatulence

Nausea

Muscle spasms

Shortness of extravagance

Why, oh why

Can’t side effects be

Welcome symptoms

Of living healthily?

Only when physicians

Prescribe meditation

And bright sunshine

Will patients discover the

Side effect of feeling fine. 

  

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