Honest, it was the Wine

Before I tell you this story I need for you to know that I am not a stupid person; however, if after reading my tale of missteps you are led to the conclusion that I’m not the brightest bulb on the tree, I won’t argue with you.

On Wednesday night Studly had to be in Crestview, Florida, for a company Christmas party. Since I had an errand to take care of a bit further west we decided to rendezvous in Crestview for the night. I’d get up early Thursday and head to my destination while he’d go north to one of his locations.

We had a quiet, perhaps even a slightly romantic evening at the Holiday Inn Express in Crestview. I might have enjoyed a bit too much of a locally produced wine, but I remember distinctly reminding Studly to get his reading glasses before leaving for work the next morning.

I didn’t sleep much. Sometimes too much wine isn’t conducive to a peaceful rest, so I was up and down all night. Meanwhile, Studly snored. I must’ve dozed off at some point, because I awakened to him getting dressed for work. We exchanged kisses and off he went.

Figuring I was through sleeping I went to the bathroom and what did I see lying on the counter? Studly’s reading glasses. Hadn’t I just reminded him about leaving them a few short hours ago?

I quickly grabbed my phone to call him, but was surprised to hear his phone ringing on his bedside table. Crap. Not only had he left his glasses, he’d also forgotten his phone! What a doofus!

Quickly I pulled my blue jeans on and grabbed my coat, throwing it on over my pajamas. I slipped my boots on without socks, slipped the room key into my back pocket and hurried to the elevators with Studly’s glasses and cell phone in hand. I was hoping Studly had stopped to eat a bite of breakfast before leaving the hotel so I could catch him.

The elevator was slow as molasses, but soon I was in the breakfast room. I’d left my own glasses in the room, so I had to squint to see if he was in the area. No Studly. I went to the lobby and squinted. No Studly. Out the door I went. There parked beneath the hotel awning was his unoccupied car. At least he hadn’t left yet, so he must’ve realized he didn’t have his stuff and gone back to the room.

I hurried back to the elevator, knowing there was a possibility he’d be coming down as I went up, but hoped he’d be knocking on the bedroom door thinking I was in the shower.

Sure enough when I rounded the corner there he stood with his hand raised to knock on our door. He gave a startled look when I came trotting down the hall.

“You left your phone and your glasses in the room,” I panted, handing them to him..

“Yep, that’s my phone,” Studly said. “But these aren’t my glasses.”

Puzzled, I looked at the glasses as he handed them back. They were mine. I’d carried them around, squinting because I couldn’t see, and they were mine.

I’m blaming this all on the wine, you know.

Peace, people.