Tag: blog

Put Her In, Coach

Inside the locker room at USA High

Coach Stern: Well team, I’ve got some bad news. Barry’s dad got a promotion and his family’s moving to Hawaii.

(Assembled team gasps.)

Running Back: But, Coach, he’s our quarterback! We can’t win without Barry! 

Noseguard: He’s brought us back from so many deficits. We’re doomed!

Coach Stern: Settle down everyone. I know we’re all gonna miss Barry. He’s probably the best QB we’ve had here at USA High, and he’ll be a tough act to follow.

Fullback: So, Coach, who ya got in mind to wear the quarterback’s jersey? We’ve got a couple of big games coming up. All the scouts are gonna be there.

Coach Stern: As it happens, I have two prospects in mind.

(Team members make random noises of curiosity.)

Coach Stern: One’s a seasoned player. She’s never been the quarterback, but she backed one up for years. And she’s studied every aspect of the game. Smart as hell to boot. 

Right Tackle: A chick!? Is she tough enough? Does she have the stamina to lead us?

Coach Stern: She’s got stamina like you wouldn’t believe. Almost impossible to knock down. If she were a guy she’d have been quarterback years ago.

Punter: She’s still a girl!

(Team makes assorted grumbling noises.)

Coach Stern: I thought some of you might say that, so here’s the story on the other prospect. He’s never played a single down. Heck, he tried to give our game plans to the crosstown rivals.

(Team makes angry noises.)

Safety: You mean he sold us out to Russkie Prep? 

Coach Stern: Yep. That’s exactly what he did. And he groped a couple of our cheerleaders without their permission.

Safety: Anything else?

Coach Stern: Well, he is real unpredictable, and we aren’t even sure if he’ll study the playbook. He’s a sore loser, too, as far as we can tell. Never takes responsibility for anything.

Wide Receiver: So why is he even under consideration?

Coach Stern: Well, he’s a guy. And he brags a lot. 

Tailback: Do we get a vote on this Coach?

Coach Stern: Damned straight, you do. So vote. Vote wisely. The school’s reputation depends on it.

Left Tackle: It’s a no brainer Coach. I’m with her.

(Sounds of unanimous agreement, like”Hell yes!” “Damned straight!)

Nothing to See Folks; Move Along

FBI Director James Comey inserted himself into the 2016 election with a letter to certain Republican congressmen indicating that perhaps, just perhaps, they’d located some emails on the home computer of Hillary’s trusted aide Huma Abedin that might be important in their ongoing witch hunt, er, investigation of the former Secretary of State. 

Trump was ecstatic. “Bigger than Watergate!” he crowed. His surrogate, Rudy Giuliani, hinted that he’d been leaked the information by the FBI. But at the end of the day there was nothing there. Nada. Zilch. Zip.

Of course the damage has been done. Some fence sitters (God bless their little minds) jumped on Trump’s train whilst holding their noses, and Hillary’s campaign lost some momentum.

One of my conservative friends had the audacity to say, “Well, I guess this newest development makes you happy.”

The only way it would make me happy is for Director Comey to go on FOX News, strip down to his boxers, and give a heartfelt apology to Hillary that would run on the right wing propaganda channel non-stop until the polls close on Tuesday, November 8. 

Peace, people.

Give us a Sign

At a Trump rally yesterday a man approached the stage carrying a sign. It was a simple sign, “Republicans Against Trump” printed from an internet site. Someone in the crowd yelled, “Gun!” And all hell broke loose.

Trump was hustled off the stage while angry supporters beat the man until police officers arrived to quickly handcuff, and thankfully, lead him to safety. There was no gun. NO assassination attempt. Yet, that’s how Trump and his crew are spinning it. Some have even slyly hinted that Clinton was behind the “attack.” My own local television station “forgot” to mention that no gun was found and that the man was released after leaving the building.

When Trump returned to the stage he not only thanked the Secret Service detail assigned to him, as was appropriate, but praised those who’d beaten an innocent man. Granted, given the level of violent rhetoric at Trump rallies the protestor’s judgement in so visibly making his feelings known wasn’t that great, but for Trump to offer praise to ruffians is just one more example of Trump’s true nature.

Let’s contrast this with President Obama’s reaction to a man holding a pro-Trump sign at a Hillary rally this week. When folks in the audience began booing and taunting the protestor, President Obama shouted them down, and after getting their attention reminded them to be respectful of the man’s right to free speech under our Constitution. 

Donald Trump has dangerous ideas about what it means to hold office. His friendship with Putin might be giving him ideas. Couple that with his strange relationship with members of the FBI, and his endorsement by the Police union, and it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to imagine a change in the way our First Amendment is observed. 

For the love of our country’s freedoms get out and vote for Hillary Clinton. Please don’t put your trust in a demagogue who encourages violence and disrespects women.  

Parade of Celebrities 

My dreams have been chock full of celebrities lately. I suppose their nocturnal performances are subtle attempts by my psyche to heal itself during this soul-scarring election.

Last week Chris Hemsworth, in the guise of Thor, snuggled with me in dreamland: https://nananoyz5forme.com/2016/10/30/a-thor-in-my-side/


Since then, I’ve danced with James Franco at an Italian wedding. He approached me as I stood off to one side, gallantly bowing and asking me if I’d care to dance, and then twirled me about the marble dance floor as I giggled helplessly. 


The next night Michelle Obama appeared during a dream visit to the Lincoln Memorial and gave me a hug that filled me with happiness and peace. She wiped away my tears and told me we’d all be fine as Abraham Lincoln looked on.


Last night, Brad Pitt flirted with me at Central Perk while Jennifer Aniston served us coffee. We sat on a couch holding hands, discussing everything except Angelina and Donald Trump. I think we are going to build homes together in New Orleans one day soon.


I’m pretty proud of my subconscious during these days of angst. I should send it to a spa as a thank you. I might even tag along.

Peace, and sweet dreams, people.

Lives of the Earthbound

Do I feel pity for them, the ones who languish down below? While I sail the updrafts,

Wings buffeted by opposing winds, they scurry about, these creatures tied by gravity and

Need to Earth’s secure illusion. Would I trade places with them for the prospect of

Lifelong love, slow sex on a rainy day, a five course meal with créme brulee as dessert?

Give up flight and walk on two spindly limbs for the whisper of a lover? I’d miss my wings.

Here’s another take on this by The Bard of Liminga:

http://wp.me/pj6EN-2db

Considering Calamity

What if Trump wins this election? I’ve invested so much of my time, my sweat, and even my money to electing Hillary that I’m not sure how I will handle a loss, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t considered my options in case the worst should happen.

The first thing I’ll do is pray. I’ll pray that there is some substance to this man beyond the demagoguery and bluster. I’ll pray that he surrounds himself with intelligent and steady handed people who actually have experience in governing. And I’ll follow that up with a fervent prayer that he is capable of listening to them and of taking their advice. Thus far I haven’t seen that side of him.

I’ll keep on working for Liberal causes: health care as a right and not a privilege, a living wage for all working Americans, reproductive rights for women, affordable college that doesn’t burden students for their entire adult lives, racial and gender equality, LGBT rights, and compassionate immigration reform along with common sense gun regulations.

I still believe Americans as a whole are too smart to fall for Trump’s grandiose lies and hate filled rhetoric, but they’ve gotten him this far. No one thought he’d win the party nomination, but here he is. 

Friends, there has never been a more qualified, more experienced candidate for the office of the American presidency than Hillary Rodham Clinton. You don’t have to like her. You don’t have to think she’s perfect. But if you want an America that we can be proud of, one that values the rights of all Americans, not just those of white men, you need to get out and vote for her. 

Vote early if you can in your state. Don’t let anyone intimidate you. Just vote.


Peace, and common sense, folks.

Survivor

I’m a breast cancer survivor. My diagnosis wasn’t dire; I always tell folks I had a slight case of cancer. A few weeks of radiation and inconvenience, and I was as good as new. 

I know I was lucky. My husband’s company has great insurance, so every part of my diagnosis and treatment was covered once my deductible was met. Great doctors, a caring hospital, and a road to recovery were all in reach.

But what about women who aren’t so fortunate? What about those women whose jobs don’t offer coverage or those who are students or unemployed? Where do they turn for help?

Planned Parenthood, that’s where. Republicans in congress would have us believe that PP is only performs abortions, when in truth, abortions make up a very small fraction of PP services. I’d hate to live in a country that didn’t provide such import diagnostic services to women in need. 

Vote Blue. 

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