Tag: blog

Salad Days 

Cleopatra contemplated and thus reflected,
“My salad days, When I was green in judgment, cold in blood”

According to Shakespeare, her dalliances with the emperor were viewed as the flighty romance of her dewy youth,

Would the mighty queen have bothered with something so mundane as a salad? A woman who chose 

Death by asp would not have bothered with a paltry bowl of greens. Pomegranates and honey, beer and bread, 

Figs and nuts aplenty, but salads most likely weren’t on her menu. Unless, of course, it was a Caesar salad. 

Snapshot #163

This poor guy made it into a parking lot in downtown Tallahassee only to meet his doom. I call this one, “Requiem for an Armadillo.”

Hold Steady

Will you yet be moved
By sleight of hand,
By hook or by crook,
Or consequences grand?

Will you yet be called
To arms,
To conscience,
Consequence, be damned?

Will you yet be taken
By surprise,
By force,
When violence commands?

Will you hold steady
Standing firm,
Taking stock,
As your conscience demands?

Snapshot #162

I snapped this selfie in Disney’s Magic Kingdom park on Monday. It truly is, “The Happiest Place on Earth!”

The Ballad of the Washing Machine

The Ballad of the Washing Machine
(with apologies to all poets)
By Leslie Noyes

A dark and stormy night, it was
(With a nod to good old Snoopy),
Thunder boomed and lightning struck,
All our appliances then went loopy.

The tv died, our elliptical fried,
Repairmen were soon called,
And all was made as good as new,
Except for the washer, there we stalled.

I made plans with GE service,
A technician soon would arrive,
But he fell ill, and couldn’t come,
For another week we’d strive.

Off I went to the laundromat,
Two baskets full of clothes,
There I was accosted in broad daylight,
By a man who didn’t know “no!”

The GE man was finally well,
When he arrived with a smiling face,
“All you need is this new part;
I’ll order with due haste.”

A week went by and he returned,
The part was here and ready.
“Oh dear,” he said, “This part’s not right!”
I felt less than steady.

So I returned to the laundromat,
With detergent and some mace,
But no one messed with me this time,
I had on my mean game face.

Seven more days I waited for news,
We finally got a part,
Back came the man from old GE,
“Oops, I hate to break your heart.

“Your machine is unrepairable,
It suffered a fatal blow,
So I can’t help you; sorry folks,
This washer has to go.”

I muttered a phrase beneath my breath
It rhymed with “duck, duck, duck,”
Then traipsed off to the laundromat
Hoping for better luck.

Now I must buy a new machine,
And it won’t match my dryer,
This model is no longer made
And the cost will be much higher.

This ends my tale, at least for now,
I’ve run out of patience and bucks
There’s nothing to say, but that old phrase,
That rhymes with “duck, duck, duck.”

Snapshot #161

I took this one of Studly Doright while we waited in line to ride the Dinosaur attraction at Disney’s Animal Kingdom park. I call this, “I Asked You to Look Scared, Not Constipated!”

Sing It, Sister

I recently made fun of Studly Doright’s misunderstanding of a song’s lyrics in this post: https://nananoyz5forme.com/2017/04/18/shes-a-what/

I have to confess, though, to also being a mangler of lyrics. Most recently, Studly and I were driving to Orlando on a Sunday morning for a rendezvous with his middle sister and her family at DisneyWorld. 

We were flipping back and forth between the 60’s and 70’s stations on Sirius/XM satellite radio (perhaps the greatest invention of my lifetime) when one of my all-time favorite songs popped up: Lady Marmalade by Patti LaBelle. 

https://youtu.be/t4LWIP7SAjY

Even though the song’s been covered a couple of times, Patti’s version is the best in my humble opinion.
I was singing along, “Coochie coochie ya ya,” and dancing in my seat when Studly asked if I had any idea what I was singing.

“Well, kind of. A lot of it’s in French. Or Cajun. Or something,” I said.

So I decided to Google the lyrics. Guess what, the words “coochie coochie” don’t appear even once. I’m shocked. 

Interesting fact: The line, “voulez vouz coucher avec moi ce soir” which translates to “do you want to sleep with me tonight,” was deemed too scandalous for American ears and had to be changed to “do you want to dance with me tonight,” when performed on television in the U.S. 

Lady Marmalade Lyrics

Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister

He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans
Struttin’ her stuff on the street
She said “hello,
Hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?” mmm, mmm

Itchi gitchi ya ya da da
Itchi gitchi ya ya here
Mocha-choca-lata ya ya
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up
The boy drank all her magnolia-wine
On the black satin sheets
oh I swear he started to freak

Itchi gitchi ya ya da da
Itchi gitchi ya ya here
Mocha-choca-lata ya ya
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Hey, hey, hey

Touching her skin feelin’ silky smooth
The colour of cafe au lait
Made the savage beast inside
Roar until it cried, more, more, more

Now he’s back home doing nine to five
Living his grey flannel life
But when he turns off to sleep
Old memories creep, more, more, more

Itchi gitchi ya ya da da da
Itchi gitchi ya ya here
Mocha-choco-lata ya ya
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Itchi gitchi ya ya da da
Itchi gitchi ya ya here

Mocha-choco-lata ya ya
Itchi gitchi ya ya here

(Writer/s: KENNY NOLAN, ROBERT CREWE 
Publisher: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind)

Snapshots #156, 157, 158, 159, and 160

Took this one at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Let’s call it, “You Meet the Nicest Animals on Safari.”

Blow

Blow
By Leslie Noyes (with Studly’s assistance)

It was a riotous Friday night here at Doright Manor. I was sitting in my chair trying to come up with ideas for this blog, and Studly Doright was sitting next to me in his chair watching Storage Wars on the telly and occasionally reaching over to fondle my, um, upper arm. 

No decent writing ideas were coming to me, so in desperation I turned to Studly and said, “Give me a word.”

Now, I cannot type what he said because sometimes his mother reads this blog.

 “I can’t use that word,” I said. “It’s not that kind of blog.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you needed the word for your blog. That changes everything.” 

So he gave me another, equally vulgar word.

“Last chance, smarty pants,” I said. “Just give me a decent word.”

See the title of this post? Yep, that was half of what he said. I don’t know why I bother.