Category: Florida

Cat Scratch Fever

I had my first bonafide injury as a kennel assistant this past week when a reluctant-to-be-held kitten sunk her sharp little claws into the skin on my chest. 

 
The kitten was way cuter than Ted Nugent, and is much more politically savvy than the aging has-been rocker, so of course I forgave her. 

The incident with the kitten does indicate that I have not quite reached the coveted level of kitten cuddler. Kitten cuddlers are well versed in proper handling techniques.

  
And there’s more to the job than this photo ^^^ would have us believe.

Still, I am wearing my scratches as part reminder/part badge of honor: I came, I cuddled, I was clawed. There is no honor without sacrifice, and stuff like that.

 

Melvin
 
C’mon folks! Adopt, don’t shop!

Economics of the Fitbit

After I write this I solemnly promise my readers will never have to read another post about my Fitbit, but I thought some of the presidential candidates might need this information. It could be a game changer.

I’ve decided that the Fitbit might be a great boon to the economy and should be touted as such. Janet Yellen, heed my words! If every American had one the economy could make a complete recovery. Here’s my breakdown of benefits to the economy directly linked to the Fitbit:

1) Initially I drove to Best Buy using gasoline I purchased at a local gas station.

2) I bought a Fitbit Charge HR for around $150.

3) After purchasing my Fitbit I dined at Chicken Salad Chick where I spent $11.00 on my favorite scoop of Cranberry Kelly with a side of fresh fruit. 

4) I needed good walking shoes, so I purchased a new pair at a local shoe store, spending another $80.

5) My socks irritated my toes, so I drove across town to a place that sells specialty socks and plunked down $12.00 for a pair. I like these and will soon buy more.

6) It’s been too hot most days to walk outside, so I drive to one of the malls in Tallahassee to walk in air conditioned comfort. Malls are dangerous places for me financially. I have purchased thus far:

  • A new sports bra  ($58)
  • Moisturizer ($48)
  • Jeans and two blouses ($179)
  • Face cleanser and assorted cosmetics ($44)
  • Food Court food — mostly grilled chicken (approximately $35)
  • Miscellaneous items ($20)

Keep in mind that I also must drive to and from the mall. I’ve spent a lot of money this month thanks to my Fitbit.

Maybe this post wasn’t such a great idea. Forget I wrote it, and whatever you do, Don’t Tell Studly!

(But I have lost 8 pounds.)

  
Peace, people!

All Hands on Deck

Studly Doright and I bought our home in Havana, Florida, more than a year ago. We love this house and its little neighborhood of Lake Yvette. Recently, Studly added a nice garage/shop where he stores our motorcycles and does repair work as needed. He’s very pleased with the finished product, and I’m pleased when Studly is pleased.

The only part of the home we weren’t crazy about was the back porch. At first look, it was perfect, with nice brickwork and ample space for a table, grill, and a couple of lounge chairs. But anytime it rains, and it rains often in north Florida, all of the rainwater pools at one end of the deck, rendering it unusable. Obviously, after the home was built it settled counter to the drain. 

So, while we were in a building/remodeling frame of mind we decided to have the deck converted into a covered/screened porch. The contractor has begun the job, and like all such jobs it’s a bit messy. And noisy. 

The cats stay hidden most of the day, emerging only for their beloved Temptations treats. They have no idea yet just how wonderful the new screened in porch will be for two confirmed lifelong house cats. 

Studly and I are making bets as to how long it takes our youngest cat, Patches, to make her first steps into the wild new world. In her whole three years of life she’s been out of the house only to go to the vet and of course during our car ride from Illinois to Florida.

Our elder cat, Scout, has occasionally escaped when the front door has been left open a fraction too long. But then she would sit quivering on the front lawn until we could herd her back into the house. Neither cat will ever receive a medal for bravery.

Here are photos of our work in progress:

   
    
 We’re hoping to have the deck finished in a couple of weeks, then we can find out how our cats react. It is all about the cats, after all.

Peace, people!

Fox Pass

I overheard this while sitting at a table in the mall food court today.

Kid: I can’t believe I made that fox pass.

Mom: Huh? 

Kid: I just feel so dumb for doing that.

Mom: What did you do?

Kid: I asked my science teacher if she was pregnant and she said no. It was a fox pass.

(At this time I started giggling.)

Mom: What does a fox have to do with anything?

Kid: You know, when you make a mistake it’s called a fox pass.

Mom: (laughing) Oh honey, it’s not pronounced “fox pass,” it’s French and pronounced “fo paw.”

Kid: Oh, no wonder Mrs. Kinder looked at me funny when I apologized for my fox pass. I won’t make that fox pass again.

One thing I know, the kid is a reader. I did the same thing with “facade” for years until someone told me it was pronounced “fussod.” 

 

Now THAT’S a faux pas!
 
Peace, people!

Fitbit Follies

Today I

–went to the Tallahassee Mall and made myself dizzy repeatedly walking a tight loop so I could get in 10 flights of stairs before my movie started.

–walked an extra circuit around Lake Ella in downtown Tallahassee so I could have a beer before bedtime.

–left my iPhone in the bedroom knowing that I’d have to make an extra trip back there to retrieve it, thus topping the 10,000 step mark.

–calculated the number of tortilla chips I could eat with my beer without going into the red zone on my Fitbit. (2)

–realized that I’ve lost 6 pounds. 😍

I kind of love my Fitbit.

  
Peace, people!

I Tawt I Taw a Pudding Cat

  
Pudding is a beautiful Siamese-mix female with a sweet disposition. The staff at TAS believe she is about a year old. She gets a lot of attention at Tallahassee Animal Services, but the right person hasn’t come along yet.

Yesterday Pudding and I had a long talk. It went something like this:

Me: Hey Pudding baby, what’s going on?

Pudding: Well, I’m still here. In this (sniff) kennel, so how do you THINK it’s going?

Me: I’m sorry. That was really insensitive of me.

Pudding: That’s ok. You’re only human. 

Me: True.

Pudding: Listen, would you remind people that cats need homes. I hear people ooh and ahh over all these kittens. Can’t they see I’m worth oohing and aging over, too?

Me: oooooh! Aaaaaaah!

Pudding: (Sniff) Not you silly. REAL people. You’re a volunteer. Unless of course you want to take me home….

Me: (backing away from the kennel) Gotta go Pudding–I’ll steer people your way.

Pudding: Chicken!!! Bok bok bok!

Pudding really is adorable! And she’s ready to be oohed and aahed over!

Remember, adopt, don’t shop! Visit your local shelter today.

Peace, people!

The Princess and the Socks

  
Remember the old story of the Princess and the Pea? The queen wanted to make sure her son’s new romantic interest was a true princess, so she secretly placed a tiny pea beneath a stack of mattresses to see if the girl could detect the pea’s presence. Of course, the girl got a terrible night’s sleep and was declared a true princess.
That’s me. I’m the princess, only in my case the irritant isn’t a pea, it’s the little poky part of the toe seam in socks. Even short walks in my athletic shoes rub blisters on my cute little toes unless I put preemptive bandages in strategic places.

You see, I’m a delicate little flower. No, really. Stop laughing. At 5’8″ tall and I’m not saying how many pounds, I hardly look the part, but it’s true.

I’ve spent many years and many dollars trying to find a sock with non-irritating seams. Finally, I think I might’ve succeeded in my quest. The brand is Balega, and the socks are made in South Africa. The key to their comfort is that the toe seam is hand linked instead of machine linked. Big difference! 

I’m not saying this is the only sock with this feature, but it’s the only one I’ve come across in a light weight running/walking sock. SmartWool, I believe, has the same feature, but even their lightweight socks are just too hot for walking in the Florida summer heat, and this princess’s skin is too delicate for wool. 

See, I told you I was a delicate little flower.

Peace, people!

  

Fitbit Fanaticism 

I’ve done a lot of strange things in my life, but since strapping on a Fitbit I have to admit my list has grown much longer.

The first thing I do each morning is look at the number of steps I’ve taken in the night. With a goal of 10,000 steps every one counts. I know exactly now how many steps I take going to and from the toilet with a stop off at the sink on the way back (25).

Then I check the quality of my sleep. My Fitbit indicates how many times I was awake during the night and how many minutes I spent in a restless state. Finally I have evidence proving that I don’t sleep. Studly Doright has to believe me now!

I also have become efficiently inefficient. Take laundry for example. In the days B.F. (Before Fitbit) I would carry arm loads of folded laundry from the chaise lounge in the den, dropping off various items in their appropriate places. 

After Fitbit (A.F.) I make a separate trip for each grouping of items. Studly’s boxers get one trip, his socks another, and so on. I do the same with clothing I’ve hung to dry in the laundry room, sometimes making a dozen separate trips. 

You don’t even want to know my new grocery shopping technique. Suffice it to say that by the time I’ve completed purchasing basics like milk, bread, and beer (yes, beer is a basic) I’ve crisscrossed the nearest Publix a dozen times. And parking has become a game to see just how far from the store I can park. 

Since the Fitbit also counts the number of flights of stairs I’ve climbed I’ve found myself walking in strange patterns at both of our malls. I never thought I’d say it, but I’ve become a mall walker. 

I can get all of the flights climbed in my own neighborhood just by walking up my side of the loop three and a third times, but until fall comes along it’s just too darned hot and humid out there. I did buy a small container of pepper spray so that some day in the future I’ll be brave enough to walk the entire loop again.

Have any of these machinations paid off? I don’t know yet, but if they allow me one beer in the evening, they’re worth it.

Peace, people!

  

Badger

At Tallahassee Animal Services there’s an adult male cat named Badger. He’s the sweetest guy and loves to be snuggled and groomed. But Badger has only one eye, so people barely pause by his kennel. 

Sometimes they look in, but I’ve not seen one person ask to take him out and hold him. Of course I’m only at the shelter for a couple of hours each week. I fervently hope that he gets some attention when I’m not there.

I’ve begun taking him out of his kennel at the beginning of my shift and again before I leave. We talk. I tell him my problems and he listens like a pro. He, on the other hand, never complains. But he does wink, and you know a girl enjoys a good wink.

Badger is an easygoing guy with a sweet personality. He’d make a fine companion. 

 

Showing his best side.
 
Remember, don’t shop, adopt!

Banana Spider

We have a small area just outside of our front door that as far as I can tell holds no purpose other than to propagate weeds. The folks who built the home had a gardener to care for the ground cover plants that grew there, but when given a choice between employing a part time housekeeper or a gardener, there was no contest. Housekeeper won by a mile.

Logically I should have known that the pretty plants would need tending eventually and that I probably would end up with that job, but denial runs strong in my family. 

Last summer I stumbled about trying to maintain some semblance of respectable home ownership, but this year the courtyard has just gone to pot. Not literally–pot isn’t yet legal in Florida, so don’t send the sheriff’s department out our way, but figuratively. 

Things that made for pretty ground cover a year ago are sprouting tufts that look like an old man’s whiskers, and the uglier stuff is back with a vengeance. We plan to do something creative with the area, but it just hasn’t happened yet. Why? Golf. I blame golf.

Periodically I go out and talk to these plants/weeds as I bend, sweat, and pull, bend, sweat, and pull. It’s all very tender talk: “Go away you ugly sons of bitches, you’re making our home look bad to the UPS and FedEx guys.”

Today I was bending, sweating, and pulling while cursing these plants, and I stumbled into a banana spider’s web.

  
I didn’t realize at first that it was a banana spider’s web. I was too busy slapping at my head and shoulders to remove any arachnids that might have transferred from the web to my body. When I stepped out of the web I looked up and there she sat. Huge. 

Banana spiders in Florida are not poisonous, but they will bite and I understand the bites are quite painful. I continued to pull weeds, but now I had one eye on the spider. Cursing, bending, sweating, and pulling.

Peace, people!