Category: Commentary

First Lizard of Winter

The title is a bit misleading since according to the calendar those of us residing in the northern hemisphere have been locked into winter since December 21-ish. Forget those pesky calendar designations. You know how robins are harbingers of spring? Then finding a lizard in my mailbox is the first sign the temps are going to drop in North Florida, and to me that is the truest indication that winter has arrived. 

Not nearly as pleasant as discovering the robins have returned, being surprised by a lizard hiding in the stacks of post-holiday bills and glossy junk mail is a certain cardiac stimulant and/or test for urinary continence. I am proud to say that I didn’t squeal or utter a four-letter word this afternoon when the little bastard jumped out at me; although, I might’ve peed a little.

Not my lizard, but close enough.

2017 in 2017

I’ve gained quite a bit of weight in the past two years. I’d be more specific, but who needs the depressing details? Let’s just say that the bathroom scales and I have climbed to previously untapped heights and leave it at that.


Early on New Year’s Day I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post about a challenge to walk/run 2017 miles in 2017. The sign up deadline was midnight on 1/1/17, so I hesitated for only a moment before clicking on the link and paying my money. 

I’m now committed (or perhaps should be). 2017 miles in 365 days means I need to average 5.5 miles a day this year, or 38.5 per week. I jokingly told a blogging friend that as of Friday I only have 2016.5 miles to go. The truth is, I’m kind of on track. With one and a half days left in this first week of January I’ve walked almost 32 miles! 


Hopefully I’ll have more weight loss success than this guy ^^^.

Remember the scene in the original Peter Pan where Tinker Bell is on the verge of fading into oblivion and Peter, a.k.a. Mary Martin, begs the audience to applaud to bring her back? I used to clap so loudly that the folks next door complained to my parents. Well, I’m going to need your applause here if I’m going to succeed in walking 2017 miles this year. Exercise is not my first (or third or ninetieth) inclination, but with your help, as Peter Pan is my witness, I can do this.

https://youtu.be/A6IKaLF4Fqc

Peace, people! Um, I can’t hear you. 

Family Photos

The Doright Family converged on Nashville, Tennessee, for Christmas. We rented a home on Old Hickory Lake through Home Away and spent four days in close quarters. I’m pleased to announce that not one of the twelve people present was harmed during our long weekend of enforced confinement. See, miracles do still happen.

As part of our Christmas gift our children arranged for a photographer to come out to the house on Christmas Eve to take family photos. The last family photos were circa 2002, so we were way past due. 

Here are a few of my favorites:

Studly Doright and Moi
Daughter Ashley and Son Jason join the Dynamic Doright Duo
All the Grands
Jackson and Garrett
Eldest grandson, Garrett
Youngest grandson, Jackson
Eldest granddaughter, Dominique
Middle granddaughter, McKayla
Youngest grandchild, Harper
The big girls
Siblings
Siblings
Daughter Ashley and her family
Son Jason and his family
Just the granddaughters
The whole bunch featuring Saint Helen

Only Through Self Control

As God is my witness, I’ll keep this resolution. Granted, it will require self control and hours of hard work, but I thrive on challenge. 

Barbie and the Cave Bear

In my youth I was into playing with fashion dolls Barbie and Ken, along with their friends Midge and Alan. My collection of the dolls never extended past that core group. Alan was lost early on and all of Ken’s fuzzy hair rubbed off, so he was essentially bald for as long as I can remember. Maybe that’s why I find Studly Doright so darned attractive. 
Unlike most of my friends I didn’t go in for dressing my Barbie dolls in ball gowns and high heels. The latter never stayed on for more than ten seconds anyway. No, my dolls were meant for greater things than parading about in too tight skirts and sweaters that showed off their alarmingly enhanced charms. 

I had two favorite scenarios: 

1) “Space Barbie” in which Barbie and Midge are the first women in space. They travel to a distant planet where they rescue Ken who had been marooned for months. Together, the trio fight off strange life forms and build the foundation of a dynamic colony. There might have been some mild romance. I wasn’t very old, and had no idea where babies came from. 

2) “Cave Barbie” in which Barbie and Midge are foraging for food in prehistoric times and wander too far from their home village. They take shelter from a violent storm in a cave and discover Ken who’d been exiled by another tribe. Together, the trio fight off strange beasts and build the foundation for a dynamic new clan. 

Anyone see a pattern forming? There were other scenarios–“Pirate Barbie,” “Ranch Barbie,” and “Archeological Barbie,” to name a few. In each scenario Barbie and Midge had to pull Ken’s butt out of a life threatening predicament. Keep in mind, this was well before the popularity of career minded Barbie. I was either way ahead of my time or suffering from delusions of grandeur. 

Two of my granddaughters play with Barbies. I tried to tell the oldest one about my dolls’ adventures. She wasn’t impressed.

“Did you have a Barbie house?” she asked.

“Well, no, I piled up blankets and created little caves in the folds. That’s where they lived.”

“Did your dolls have lots of pretty dresses?”

“No, but my mom found some fake fur scraps and I draped them around my Barbies to keep them warm in their caves. Cool, huh?”

“I think I like my way better,” she said. 

“Fine. Be that way,” I retorted. “But just know that Ken’s blood is on your hands.”

I’m not allowed to babysit anymore.

Peace, people.

2016, Please Go Away Now

On Tuesday, December 27, Carrie Fisher died. I so wanted to be her character in Star Wars: Brave and beautiful, smart and sassy. 


Others we’ve lost:

Prince, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali

Alan Rickman, Doris Roberts, Alan Thicke

Garry Marshall, Bobby Vee, Gene Wilder

Patty Duke, Morley Safer, Glenn Frey

Florence Henderson, Robert Vaughn, 

Gwen Ifill, Arnold Palmer, Pat Nixon

Garry Shandling, Merle Haggard.

Amendment: Leonard Cohen, George Michael

Happy Holidays 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and peace on earth, goodwill to all.  
From our home to yours, may your holidays be peaceful and filled with love and joy.

The Noyes Family


Over a Few Rivers, Out of the Woods

“Off again,
On again,
Gone again,
Flanagan.”

Thus began our journey northwest from Tallahassee to meet our children and grandchildren for a family Christmas in Nashville, TN. With my mother-in-law, Saint Helen, along for the ride, Studly Doright and I set out on our eight hour trip on Thursday morning. We were in no great hurry, since the house we are renting wouldn’t be available until Friday afternoon.

Saint Helen and I took turns riding shotgun next to Studly in the front seat. I enjoyed my turn riding in the backseat, taking note of texting drivers and giving them dirty looks. Saint Helen is too nice for that task, though, but she and Studly enjoy visiting.

Just north of Montgomery, Alabama, we stopped at a Bass Pro Shop to stretch our legs and use the restroom facilities. If you’ve never visited a Bass Pro Shop, you’re missing out on a grand experience.


The stores are humongous. 


And chock full of everything an outdoorsman or woman could possibly need:


Boats and guns share space with crossbows and fishing gear, shoes and clothing. Most disturbing are the dead animals displayed in abundance:


This guy posed with me:



There is a shooting gallery with fake guns:


Rows and rows of the real thing:


An archery section:


An aquarium with live animals instead of those stuffed ones that were displayed hither and yon:


A general store and a fudge shop with real fudge for sale. No fake fudge here!

We spent an hour or so wandering around Bass Pro Shop before climbing back into the car. No stuffed animals were injured in the writing of this post. 

Tallahassee Auto Museum

Last Sunday Studly Doright and I took his mom, Saint Helen, to the Tallahassee Automobile Museum. Even though Studly and I have been in Tallahassee a little over three years, this was our first visit to the museum that sits just off Interstate 10 east of Tallahassee.

Elvis Mobile
Weird horse statue greets visitors

Here are just a few of the automobiles on display. The array was dizzying. 

Amphibious car–LBJ had one and loved to prank guests to his Texas ranch by driving into his lake.
Studebaker Avanti: The front looks like the rear.
Disturbing!
DeLorean
Studly and Saint Helen

Batman had his own section.


There were motorcycles in abundance:



Boats


Boat motors:


Tricycles and pedal cars:




Steinway Pianos:






Cash registers:


A vampire hunting kit (I really think I need one):


And lots of other goodies:


Hearse believed to be used to convey Lincoln’s body.

The museum, with its eclectic array of memorabilia, provided us with a couple of hours of entertainment. I think I’m still suffering from antique overload. 

Peace, people.

Mannequin Mania

Studly Doright, Saint Helen, and I toured the Tallahassee Automobile Museum on Sunday. Sure, there were tons of cars and a variety of other seemingly random collections (i.e. dolls, golf balls, pianos, knives, guns, outboard motors, toys, motorcycles, etc.), but I was drawn to the mannequins.

Creepy or cool?



Peace, people!