November 3rd approaches—Election Day in the United States. I voted early on the first day I was allowed to in Florida, but I still have to view the endless barrage of political advertisements.
It’s too bad one cannot opt out of the ads once one has cast his/her vote. It’s not like I can say, “Oh! Wait! I’ve decided to vote for the lying, cheating misogynistic ass currently occupying the White House because, DAMN that last ad was so freaking good!”
So, I’ve turned to my good friends, Mr. Guinness and Ms. Wine to help me through this trying time. The first one relaxes me and the second lulls me to sleep. They allow me to view the ads through a pleasant fog.
Don’t worry—I’m not overdoing it. One Guinness and one glass of red wine per night is the rule. Okay, maybe occasionally I’ll have an extra half glass of wine, but only if the bottle is almost empty.
Now, on election night all bets are off. I’ve bought champagne and I’m going to drink it regardless. If Trump wins, I’ll likely cry as I indulge, but if Biden wins, I might just bathe in the stuff.
Please keep us in your thoughts. Send good vibes. Pray if that’s your thing. Guinness and wine, while comforting, can’t do either of those things.