Somewhere between
I want to and I did
were a lot of dead
spots filled with
I can’t and
maybe I shouldn’t and
even girl, don’t you dare.
I got stranded once
on the island of
I’m not worthy, but
the good ship
I believe in you
saved me and brought
me to safety.
Peace, people.
we are
broken
each one
of us
from the
inside
(no matter
how beautiful,
or talented,
or together
we pretend
to be)
there are
cracks,
porcelain
fine,
criss-
crossed
etchings
across our
souls.
we are
whole
each one
of us
on the
inside
(no matter
how battered,
or discouraged,
or frightened
life has
made us)
there are
gold shot
veins of
strength,
defying
all odds
celebrating
our souls’
survival.
Caveat: This is a narcissistic post from a narcissistic person (me). Read at your own risk.
My life lately has felt like a bad roller coaster. No highs, just a series of gut clenching drops. It’s as if someone out there is wondering just how low I can fall.
I won’t go into details, those would be boring, but I’ve accepted the idea that many of the lows can be attributed directly to my own behaviors. Sometimes I’m not a very nice person.
There is a big hole in my character. I’m needy and self-centered, and I crave reassurance. When I’m happy, the whole world could be going down the toilet, and it just wouldn’t matter. When I’m not happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy. (Forgive the grammar; I was making a point.)
What makes me happiest is having an event or activity I can look forward to–say, going to see my kids who live many miles away, or planning a trip to Guatemala, or to an impending class reunion. But we all know those kinds of things can’t happen on a regular basis.
So how do I keep going and stay happy, on a day to day basis? This blog is one way. I love the feedback and the “likes” and the clicks. They satisfy my need for attention.
Phone calls with my favorite people are another boost to my attitude. FaceTiming with a grandchild can lift my spirits for days. Oddly enough I seldom initiate those calls for fear they’ll be busy and I’ll be intruding.
My relationship with my mother-in-law, Saint Helen, makes me happy, and news that she might be coming for a visit soon has done wonders for my frame of mind. Yay!
I’m not sure what my original point was in writing this except that I began wondering what keeps others going when they sink, or if they sink, into the pit of self-pity. How do you pull yourself up and ignore the greedy little needs that keep you from being happy and productive?
I’m curious.
Peace, people!
Shine!
Speak up!
Don’t let your
Light go
Unnoticed.
There will be
Those who try
To take away your
Essence;
Those who cannot
See your worth.
Ignore them.
Listen to that
Voice, that
Incredible voice
Telling you,
Girl, you are
Incredible!
Praying for Eyebrowz 